Ten Minutes
by KodiRae
Summary: Ten minutes is considered a fast response time, if the police can get anywhere and assess the situation in ten minutes they're doing their job. A lot can happen in ten minutes, a lot of lives can be lost in ten minutes, a lot of lives can be changed in ten minutes.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to Ten Minutes! This story is set after Vico is busted for selling fake ID's and hasn't beat up Brandon. There is no Brallie, and Jude and Callie were adopted without a hitch, hope you enjoy!**

**Callie**

Mornings in the Adams-Foster household are hectic and hectic is an understatement. Stef wakes up first and showers while the water is still hot, shortly followed by Lena. Brandon's alarm starts up in unison with Jude's at six o' clock a.m. sharp. My alarm goes off at six-fifteen and I hit snooze until Lena comes in and turns on the lights.

"Good morning girls! Time for another wonderful Monday." I sat up so she would see I was awake and Mariana rolled over with a grumble. I showered and brushed my teeth before walking back into the bedroom. Mariana rolled out of bed with hair that would have made social networking history and an expression that defined Mondays. All of my homework was stuffed into my backpack and I headed downstairs and sat at the breakfast table.

"Hey, Callie, do you have all your homework?" After assuring her I had it all Stef placed a glass of orange juice and a bagel in front of me. Taking the cream cheese from in front of Jude I laughed as he tried to take a bite too big for his mouth. Stef sat at the head of the table sipping coffee and going through the mail, she opened a large manila folder and smiled. "Look what I have here."

"Birth certificates?" Jude jumped up from his seat and leaned over Stef's shoulder for a better look. "Callie, Callie, we're adopted!" Lena wrapped her arms around my shoulders and I stared at the official seal beside my name 'Callie Quinn Adams-Foster'.

"Everything is here, social security cards, new ID for Callie, it's officially official." Stef beamed. "Let's go out to dinner tonight." She said as everyone but Jesus sat at the table. Brandon gave Jude a high-five and Mariana offered to paint his nails for dinner.

"We'll talk about it when we get home from school, the van leaves in twelve minutes. Mariana where's Jesus?" Lena asked placing the certificates back in the manila folder.

"Probably still asleep." Mariana huffed.

"I'm going to put these in the safe." Lena said heading up the stairs. "Jesus if you aren't downstairs in ten minutes you're running to school." She called. There was a sudden rush of footsteps and Jesus came tumbling down the stairs running his hand through his hair.

We piled into Lena's car and pulled out of the driveway watching as Stef locked up the house and made sure her holster was securely on her hips. The drive to school was always a short one and thankfully today it was quiet.

"I'm staying late for a PTA meeting after school so you guys are going to have to walk home okay? Make sure you have someone to walk with, there are five of you, and no one walks alone."

"We know Momma." Jude said with a smile. The five of us went our separate ways. Brandon went to practice in the music room, Mariana caught up with Kelsey and disappeared into a crowd of popular girls. Jesus was called over to the volleyball court for a quick game and Jude waved shyly at his friend.

"You don't have to stay with me, you can go talk to Connor." I nudged him towards his only friend at Anchor Beach.

"Are you sure?" I gave him a little shove and he smiled before tightening his backpack on his shoulders.

"I'll see you after you finish lunch." He waved goodbye and disappeared into the wave of kids. I turned down the High School wing and sat in my first class waiting for the bell to ring. The day dragged by just as anyone would expect it to on a Monday. By the time lunch came around my stomach was growling disruptively. I stopped in the hallway right outside Jude's next class, he stopped in front of me and held out a cookie.

"Here you go, Connor gave it to me."

"Then why didn't you eat it?" I laughed.

"He gave me three." I took the cookie from his hand and listened as he told me about the first half of his day.

We talked for a minute and just as we were about to part ways a sharp bang rang throughout the hallway. It sounded like a firecracker, someone screamed and another bang echoed through the halls. People began running out of classrooms and into classrooms, I saw a kid wearing a black hoodie waving something at people.

Bang.

It was a gun. I wrapped my arms around Jude to push him into a class room, there was a sudden sharp pain in my side and Jude and I were on the cold tile floor. It was suddenly difficult to breathe and my head ached, dark spots appeared in my vision, but I focused on Jude's face. He was terrified, I watched as the kid with the gun walked past us.

"Don't move." I whispered to Jude. We laid as still as we possibly could, I clenched my teeth and focused on breathing. The boy rounded the corner of at the end of the hall.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Screams, slamming doors.

Then the fire alarm started. Strobe lights flashed menacingly.

Stampedes of feet got nearer and Jude crawled out from under me.

"Callie, get up." He sobbed. I got to my hands and knees before slipping in the pool of my own blood. I had been shot, when had I been shot? My head swam nauseatingly. "Callie please." Jude cried pulling on my hand. Someone almost trampled on my arm and Jude threw his body over mine. I gasped as the pressure doubled on my back and I succumbed to the darkness that had threatened to take over.

**Jude - **

We have to get out of here, we have to move. People were running in the halls, sprinting, pushing each other. Stepping over the senior crumpled against the lockers, and the sixth grader laying in front of the exit in a pool of blood.

And then it was silent. Every few minutes there would be a single person that would sprint out of the building, or a single door would slam. There were muffled sobs coming from a classroom nearby, I glanced around carefully to make sure the kid with the gun wasn't around and looked down at Callie.

She was pale, very pale. My heart stopped. "Callie." I whispered shaking her shoulder, her hair was matted with blood, there was blood everywhere. "Callie, wake up." I swallowed my tears and tried to figure out if there was any way I could drag her outside.

Footsteps echoed throughout the eerily deserted hallways and I jumped back on top of Callie and laid as still as I could. The boy walked down the hall and stopped beside the senior that fell against the lockers. He sat beside him and stared at me, he looked me right in the eyes, he knew I was alive I could tell he knew.

The boy looked oddly familiar, but in that moment I was sure I was going to die. He gripped his gun tightly in his hand and kept his eyes locked with mine. I squeezed Callie's limp hand tightly and I swear she squeezed back. I shut my eyes.

Bang.

My eyes flew open and I flinched back, but nothing happened. I sat up and looked around to see the boy with the gun slumped against the lockers, blood soaking his black hoodie and his gun limply in his hand. His eyes were glassy. He was dead, and in that moment I recognized him.

It was Vico.

**Please review!**

**-Kodi**


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you guys have enjoyed what you've read so far! Thanks for reading!**

**Jude**

I stared at Vico, my stomach rolled, I looked around for someone to help but the halls were empty. I leaned close to Callie, a line of blood ran from the corner of her mouth in a terrifying way. I wanted my moms, any one would know what to do more than I did. I heard Callie breathing, it was a petrifying sound, almost as if she were breathing underwater. But that was better than not breathing. It had to be.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to go get Momma." I sobbed. I stood up and slipped in the gummy blood on the floor, Callie's blood. I was covered in it from lying on top of her so she wouldn't get trampled. I scurried to my feet and out the door, tripping on the sixth grader who moaned loudly. I looked down and saw that he was smaller than me, I picked him up and draped his arm around my shoulders. He had been shot in the leg, I dragged him outside with me and was greeted by ten rifles pointed in my direction.

"Hands up kid!" An officer shouted from behind a gun. I waved both my hands while trying to keep the sixth grader up. Two officers rushed forward, one picked up the sixth grader and carried him away and the other grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and dragged me away from the door.

"Are you okay?" I nodded and opened my mouth to say something.

"My sister"- I started to say, but he ignored me and returned to stare at the door into the school. They entered the building in a single file line and I looked around at the crowd of students, most of them were crying. Some of them were hurt. I ran.

I ran to the parking lot and stared at Lena's car, no one was there. I ran back towards the school, maybe Mamma was still in her office. "Stop kid you can't go in there." A police officer stood in front of the door with a stern look on his face.

"But my mom"-

"You can't go in, I'm sorry." I spun around on my heel and started running through the crowd.

"Jude!" Lena's voice cut through the crowd shrill and sharp. I twisted around and was pulled into a tight hug. "Oh, oh, are you okay? You're hurt." She said lifting up my shirt and spinning me around. "Who's blood is this? There's so much, where are you hurt?" She asked picking me up and running towards an ambulance parked in the bus lane.

"No Momma, Callie is inside. Callie's hurt, we have to go get her." I screamed writhing so she had to let me down. Lena stared at me for a second before understanding what I said.

"Go stand by my car and don't move. Do you understand?" I nodded and she sprinted off to the line of ambulances. I went and sat in front of her van with my knees pressed against my chest and waited.

"Jude, where's everyone else?" Brandon asked. He was holding Mariana's hand and she was sobbing hysterically. "Are you hurt?" He demanded seeing the blood on my shirt. I just shook my head. "Have you seen Jesus?" I shook my head. "Momma?"

"She went to go find Callie." I mumbled, I couldn't tell them that I knew where Callie was, that I had just left her there without helping. We waited for a few minutes, Momma told us to wait.

"Brandon." A voice screamed. Stef jumped out of a moving police cruiser, and hugged Brandon and Mariana, Mike kissed the tops of their heads and Stef picked me up off the ground. She ignored my insisting that I was okay and pulled off my shirt anyway, looking me over. "Where's Momma?" She asked me pulling one of Mike's clean shirts over my head. "And Jesus and Callie?" She asked looking around frantically.

"Callie's hurt, I couldn't get her out, I wasn't strong enough." I muttered succumbing to sobs that had been hiding in my chest. Stef's face paled and she held me tightly. "The police wouldn't let me back in. I wanted to go back in and show them where Callie was but they wouldn't let me."

"It's not safe bud, but I'm sure someone has helped Callie by now." Mike rushed squeezing Stef's shoulder. Mariana had thrown her arms around Brandon's waist and was crying again.

"I'm going to look for Lena." Stef said with determination. She left us there with Mike who held onto Brandon and Mariana tightly, I refused to join them, I stared at Callie's blood on my hands, I couldn't get Vico's blank eyes out of my head.

Stef and Lena came sprinting over to the car, Lena had tears running silently down her face but Stef had my bloody shirt grasped in her hand and a cold look on her face. "I-I have to stay here and evacuate all the kids to the elementary school." Lena said clearing her throat. "I'll look for Jesus and call you when we find him okay? I may not be home until late. Mike can you"-

"Of course." Mike took the keys from Lena and Mariana looked around frantically.

"We can't leave without Jesus and Callie." She screamed, I chewed on my nails nervously.

"I'm going to the hospital with Callie, I'll call you when I know anything. They haven't finished clearing classrooms yet, Jesus is probably just barricaded in a classroom okay?" Stef kissed each one of us on the head and Lena followed her example before giving Mike a hug.

"Take care of them." She demanded. Brandon helped Mariana get in the car and panic set into my chest. Lena left into the crowd of crying parents and students and started corralling them onto school busses.

"I'm staying with Mom. I have to see Callie." I demanded.

"No get in the car." Stef barked, it was a harshness that I wasn't accustomed to in the Adams-Foster home, but I stared down Stef. Tears brimmed her eyes and she squeezed my hands. "I'm sorry I shouted, but I need to know you're still safe while I check on your sister. I'll take good care of her, I promise." I pushed her hands away and got in the car slamming the door. "I love you all." She said wiping her eyes and stepping back onto the curb as Mike drove us away from the school. She turned and ran back to the entrance of the school.

We pulled into our driveway and I dashed inside the house, I jumped in the shower and scrubbed Callie's blood off my hands and out of my hair. I threw away all my clothes and even my sneakers, I threw Mike's shirt at him and climbed in Callie's bed. I laid there and stared at the wall, I didn't dare move, not even when the phone rang. Mariana came in and tried to talk to me a few times and Brandon brought me food, but I refused to move or eat, or cry. Not until I knew what had happened to Callie.

**Callie**

I woke up with blood in my mouth, the floor beneath me was cold and wet, I tried to look up but everything spun around me. I wasn't sure where I was, lockers were beside me and blood a lot of blood, I tried to drag myself forward, but I couldn't move my right arm. My body weighed a ton.

"Building is clear, let's get them out of here." A voice shouted and a stampede of heavy boots came my way. "He's dead." Someone said grimly. "Here, get paramedics in here now." Someone dropped to their knees beside me.

"Can you hear me?" They asked softly touching my shoulder. I nodded, and instantly regretted it. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Callie F-Fos" I heard myself mumble. My tongue felt huge in my mouth and my oxygen supply depleted faster than I could restore it.

"Foster?" I couldn't reply, I was overcome by a fit of coughs that spattered more blood on the ground. "Hurry with that stretcher, this is one of Foster's kids." They shouted. More feet, more hands, they laid me face down on a plastic board and my cries echoed throughout the hall as I moved. There were murmured apologies, but they cared more about speed and less about my comfort.

They carried me out the front door and right into the blinding light of outside. The world was swirls and blotches of disgustingly splashed together colors, I wanted to close my eyes but I was also terrified what would happen if I did. "Callie!" Someone shouted. The voice was lost in a sea of screams, sobs surrounded me and my name was cropping up all around me.

"Move, move, we need to get to the ambulance." Someone near me ordered, the people holding me began jogging and I gripped the edge of the stretcher tightly focusing on shallow breaths.

"Callie I'm here. I'm right here." Stef, that was Stef's voice. I wished I could say something in return but I was suddenly in a bright, cold van, the doors shut tight and a strap secured my body to the stretcher.

"Mom?" I whispered hoarsely.

"Yes Callie, I'm right here." Stef said quickly. I smiled, tears burnt my eyes, but I smiled. "Don't cry baby, don't cry." My shirt and bra were cut off without warning and the van began to move. I winced with every turn but tried not to cry.

"Here put pressure on the head wound." Someone behind me said. Gauze was wrapped tightly around my head and someone pressed on my side, hard. I screamed, my scream turned into a watery cough and Stef crouched in front of me.

"Squeeze my hand baby, it'll be okay." She said calmly. Squeeze her hand? I saw that my right hand was wrapped in both of hers. I tried to move my fingers, but they didn't move. I couldn't even feel her holding my hand.

"Can't." I huffed.

"It's okay." Stef replied quickly, but cast an anxious glance at whoever was behind me. My eyes fell closed, they weighed tons, there was nothing I could do about it. "Callie, stay with me baby, wake up." Stef rushed.

"Hurts." I heard myself say. That was the last thing I wanted to tell my mom, but I couldn't control what came out of my mouth. I forced my eyes open and they rolled around uncontrollably.

"I know. We're almost at the hospital and they're going to fix you up." My chest felt as though an elephant was standing just on my right side, my ribs had collapsed under the pressure, and it kept getting worse and worse. "Something's happened." Stef panicked. "It's okay Callie, relax." Stef trembled, her eyes watered, she was scared.

I struggled to take in air, I thought it had been hard before. It was if I was breathing through a wet blanket. "Her lung just collapsed, Callie this is going to hurt." The paramedic said quickly. A cold swab was wiped along my collar bone and a large needle flashed in front of my eyes. Stef stroked my cheek and forced a tight smile across her face.

"Look at me baby." I ground my teeth together as the paramedic probed my collar bone with his fingers, there was a sharp pain and there was a tube sticking out of my chest. I whimpered and laid as still as I could as an oxygen mask was placed over my face and an IV placed in my left arm. "You okay?" She asked softly continuing to hold on to my right hand even though I couldn't feel it.

"Didn't hurt- like- getting shot." I gasped smiling at the end.

"Not funny." Stef answered. "Don't talk." She kissed the top of my head.

"Jude?" I suddenly remembered, I don't know why but some part of me thought that I could sit up, I was strapped to the stretcher so I didn't get far, but it hurt all the same and gloved hands held me down.

"He's okay, he's fine, he's at home with your siblings. Don't talk anymore or you're grounded." Stef forced, she really wasn't in a joking mood, but at least she tried.

"Mrs. Foster we're at the emergency room, we need you to get out first and stand out of the way." Stef nodded, kissed me again, and jumped out of the van. I was pulled out and even more people were there waiting for me.

"Two entrance wounds, no exit wounds, a collapsed lung, traumatic brain injury, she's been conscious for most of the ride, lost a lot of blood." Someone listed off. I was wheeled into the hospital at an amazing rate that made my head spin, I closed my eyes so I wouldn't vomit.

"O.R. 3 is prepped and ready for her." I reached out with my left hand and grabbed the person closest to me.

"Callie I'm right here. I'll be here when you wake up, okay?" Stef called.

"Mom?" I huffed, it caused a searing pain across my right side. I opened my eyes for a brief moment and saw her jogging beside the crowd of nurses around me. We stopped in front of a door and Stef got closer.

"I can't go in there with you, but I'll wait right over there. I love you so much, Momma and I love you so much. I'll see you when you wake up Callie-Bear." Stef kissed my forehead and I was pushed into the cold operating room.

"One, two, three." I was lifted off the stretcher and placed on a cold table, I didn't have the energy to scream anymore, a tube was fed down my throat and a foggy darkness took over.

**Jude**

Callie had lunch at twelve thirty, she had been shot at around twelve thirty, I stared at her alarm clock and was amazed that it already said four o' clock. But then my heart sank, if it was already four o' clock what was happening back at the school that moms hadn't come home yet? I pulled myself out of Callie's bed and peeked into my room, Mariana was sound asleep in Jesus' bed and Brandon's bedroom door was closed, but you could hear the furious pounding of his keyboard.

I shuffled downstairs and found Mike asleep in front of the television, I turned to the screen and watched, for the first time, the chaos we had been in the middle of. Mike had the volume down so low I could hardly hear it, so I stepped closer.

"We have four confirmed deaths and six shooting related injuries so far, there have been no suspects named and none of the victim's names have been released either. I'm here at the gym of Carter Elementary where we are asking all students of Anchor Beach Charter to come check in so that we know you are okay, parents are still looking for some of the kids listed missing and we believe in the chaos a lot of students may have run and are now hiding, this is the last bus of evacuated students and we should have more information at the press conference at 5pm." I chewed on my lip and stared as pictures of running kids flashed on the screen, one kid was obviously hurt, others were just running.

"Jude?" Mike jumped up and turned off the television. "How're you feeling buddy?"

"I know who did it." I heard myself say.

"Okay, do you want to talk about it?"

"Vico shot Callie, Vico shot Callie, then he came back to kill me." I blurted. "Vico killed himself instead, I saw him." Mike gestured for me to come sit beside him and we sat there in silence.

"I know Stef and Lena are your moms, but if you ever need to talk about anything I'm here. What happened today was really scary, but you have a great family here and it's going to work out." Mike said slowly piecing everything together word by word.

"Can I call Stef?" I asked finally. Mike handed me the phone and I leaned into his shoulder as it rang over and over and over.

"Lena?" She asked desperately.

"No, Mommy, it's Jude." I said quickly, Mike wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Oh, hey baby how're you doing?" She responded automatically.

"Is Callie alright?" There was silence, then what I assume was a muffled sob.

"I don't know yet, she's still in surgery. But she asked about you in the ambulance, she was awake then and that's a good sign." Stef said brightly. "Have you heard from Momma yet?"

"No, not yet. Don't watch the news Mom, it'll only make you sad." Stef laughed a little.

"Okay. I'm going to hang up and wait for that call from Momma, I'll call you if they say anything about Callie. I love you Jude." I mumbled an 'I love you too' and put the phone down.

"Can I watch the TV?" Mike stared at the blank screen and seemed torn.

"Cartoons, no news." He said with finality, I nodded, he turned the TV back on and changed the channel as fast as he could before switching to cartoons. I watched the show for a few minutes and Mariana joined me wrapped in a blanket, her face red and blotchy. I didn't say anything to her, but a few minutes later Brandon came downstairs and sat between us pulling us both close. "I'm going to make dinner." Mike said to himself and walked into the kitchen. We watched cartoons for an hour before the phone rang, we all jumped, but Brandon scrambled to answer it.

"Hello?" His face brightened.

"When will you be home?" His knee began to bounce and he looked at his watch. "Any news on Callie?" I sat up straight, but Brandon didn't tell me anything. "We love you too, see you soon."

"What? Who was that?" Mariana asked.

"Momma, they found Jesus he's fine, they're wrapping up at the school and they'll be home in an hour." Mariana hugged Brandon and then tried to hug me.

"What about Callie?" I asked pushing her away.

"Momma's going to tell us everything when she gets home. Mariana's face paled, we sat silently on the couch once more waiting for Lena to come home. When the front door finally opened we sprinted to it, Mariana flung herself at Jesus and started crying all over again, and even though Jesus would never admit it he was crying too.

Lena hugged each one of us tightly and thanked Mike over and over before rushing upstairs to change and pack bags for Stef and herself for the hospital. "I'm coming too." I said quickly.

"No, Jude we need you to stay here. There are a lot of people in the hospital right now from the accident." I stomped back down stairs and watched as Jesus started to tell some heroic story about barricading twelve kids in the library, my stomach bubbled and my blood boiled. In two swift steps I shoved Jesus square in the chest as hard as I could, it knocked him off balance, but before I could swing or do anything else Mike grabbed me by the arms.

"Callie is going to die, all of you are happy and Callie is going to die." I screamed. I thrashed against Mike's tight hold and Lena charged down the stairs.

"What are you talking about?" Jesus asked.

"Everyone sit in the living-room, now." Lena demanded. Mike sat between me and everyone else as I wiped tears away from my face furiously, how could they all be so happy?

"You said Callie was with Mom." Jesus said slowly.

"Stef is in the hospital with Callie, she was shot." Lena explained carefully.

"Like when mom was shot though? Like she'll be okay? Nothing serious?" Mariana asked, Jesus and Brandon seemed to be thinking the same thing. They hadn't seen Callie the way I had seen her.

"No, Callie was hit twice. One hit her lung the other hit her head, Callie is in what they call 'critical condition' she's still in surgery and Stef and I need to be there for her, okay?"

"I need to go too." I said stomping my foot.

"Only parents in the hospital right now. I know you want Callie to be okay, but as soon as she can have visitors you guys can come to the hospital." Lena didn't understand, it was my fault, I needed to tell Callie I was sorry.

"Is she going to be okay?" Mariana asked again, more tears, how could she even have more tears?

"I don't know." Lena answered honestly. That shut everybody up, it suddenly seemed too real. Just this morning Callie and I received new names and now she was on the verge of leaving this family. "I have to go though. I love you all." She kissed each one of us and hurried out the door.

No one talked for the rest of the night and we pretended to eat dinner just to make Mike feel better, but after that we just went to our bedrooms and stared at each other. Mariana refused to step foot into her bedroom and stayed close to Jesus as if he were about to disappear.

**Thank you guys so much for all of the awesome reviews! Tell me what you think about adding a Stef POV…..**

**Happy Holidays! **

**-Kodi**


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday!**

**Stef**

I double checked to make sure the front door was locked and turned to wave as Lena pulled out of the driveway with the kids. I drove to Mike's to pick him up on the way to the station in an attempt to pinch pennies and carpool for the environment and my sanity, Mike handed me a cup of coffee as he sat in the passenger's seat.

"So what's on our schedule for today?" He asked with a bright smile. I rolled my eyes and tried not to show how annoyed I was, Mike was one of the only morning people I knew and of course he was my partner.

"We have a mountain of paperwork to do, just like every Monday." I sighed and pulled into the station. It was mind-numbing and always caused me to kick myself and my ability to procrastinate. Mike sat in his desk and typed away with a cheery disposition that only made me want to drink gallons of coffee.

Every Monday is like the one before it, and everyone knows that the next Monday will be just like the one you're having now, and all I could think about to help this Monday pass faster was dinner with the family tonight.

"We just got a report of a school shooting, single gun man, suit-up and let's go." Captain Roberts shouted throughout the station, the movement happened immediately, we had trained for this scenario multiple times, but we had all prayed it would never happen. Now that it had it was all about speed, the riot team geared up and climbed into the armored vehicles. I pulled on my bullet proof vest and started to leave the station with Mike at a trot to get to our cruiser when Captain Robert's stepped in front of us. "In my office, now." We followed her without question, this was a time to just follow orders and ask questions later.

"What can we do to help?" Mike asked taking a seat across from her desk, I sat beside him and struggled to keep my knee from bouncing so she wouldn't see how nervous I was.

"I need you to turn in your guns, and just listen to me for ten minutes." My heart dropped. Mike placed his gun on her desk without question and my hands began to shake.

"What's this about?" I heard myself ask.

"Your gun Foster, then we can talk." I placed my gun on her desk and my eyes began to water. "You're both on paid leave as long as you need, the school shooting is at Anchor Beach." I didn't hear anything else, but her lips continued to move. Lena, Brandon, Callie, Jesus, Mariana, Jude. Over and over. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, but there were no texts or missed phone calls and it just made my heart beat even harder.

"I need to go." I shouted jumping up out of my seat.

"Call if you need anything." Captain Roberts said sympathetically. I had to know my family was okay.

For the first time Mike and I were silent in the car, he didn't say anything but continued to take slow steady breaths when we got close to Anchor Beach we saw kids running in every direction, vomit rose in my throat when I saw a kid with a bloody cut across his forehead. "Brandon is probably fine, all the kids are probably fine. Lena could have taken them home already." Mike said to himself, I ignored him and searched the crowd for familiar faces.

"Go to the front parking lot, Lena has a parking spot." I forced through ground teeth. Mike nodded and drove around, I saw Lena's car. They were all still here, tears leaked from my eyes, what if the worst has happened?

Mike stopped the car, but I was already outside running towards Lena's car when I saw my children. My heart broke, it hurt more than I ever imagined it would. I held Brandon and Mariana, Jude was sitting on the curb, he was hurt. I picked him up and looked him over, he had to have been shot there was so much blood, panic picked up in my chest again. I felt as though I was suffocating, I pulled his shirt off and looked him over. I couldn't understand what I was seeing, there was blood he had to be hurt, but there was nothing. Mike handed me a clean shirt and I pulled it over Jude's head.

"Callie's hurt, I couldn't get her out, I wasn't strong enough." Jude sobbed, I couldn't understand what was happening to me right now. I was terrified I needed to get my family together and protect them, it's what I was hardwired to do and right now I was failing.

"I'm going to look for Lena." I forced the fear down, I needed to look after them. I sprinted into the crowd of students looking around at each of their faces for Callie or Jesus, Lena would be somewhere she was needed. Callie was hurt, I needed to find Callie. I spun around in circles and tried to stay calm when I found nothing. The row of ambulances caught my attention, Lena would want to know which students were in the hospital.

I broke through the congregation of students and saw Lena's distinctive curls instantly. I threw my arms around her and released a sob into her shoulder, Lena's arms bound around me and I wished time would stop around us, I needed her more than anything right now. "Callie is still inside." She said letting go quickly. I dried my eyes and pulled myself together. "I haven't seen Jesus, no one has." I nodded and started scanning the crowd again. "I have to take all the students to the elementary school and release them individually to their parents."

"Mike is here, he can take the kids home. I'll stay with Callie, it'll be okay." My voice sounded hollow, I couldn't lie to Lena and she knew this. "Let's go tell the kids, they're pretty upset." Lena nodded and gripped my hand tightly as we fought our way through the crowd to get back to the mini-van.

They looked like zombies and climbed into the van to go home with Mike, but Jude stood on the curb defiantly. "I'm staying with Mom. I have to see Callie." He screamed.

"No, get in the car." I pleaded, it came out as if I were ordering troops into battle, but Jude took it in stride. My eyes burned with tears, I couldn't imagine what they were going through, it was hell for me. "I'm sorry I shouted, but I need to know you're still safe while I check on your sister. I'll take good care of her, I promise." I squeezed his hands tightly and kissed the top of his head. "I love you all."

I turned and ran back into the crowd and ended up at the entrance to the school. Officer Montez stood at the door, rifle in hand and a steel look on his face. "Have they brought any victims out yet?" I asked leaning close so none of the students beside him could hear.

"No, only the one's that walked out by themselves are out." His radio crackled and he motioned for me to step back. I was bombarded by students asking me questions, asking where they could find their parents, if they could call anyone. I tried to calm most of them down, but I was too worried about my kids that weren't safe at home. Jesus could be anywhere, no one had seen him. Callie was hurt, but Jude had talked to her so she could be alright, but she was still hurt.

The doors to the school burst open and paramedics rushed out with a girl on a stretcher. I shoved kids out of my way, I knew it was Callie. I don't remember her being that pale, but that mess of brown hair could only belong to her. When I finally made it to them I still wasn't ready for what I saw, I thought Jude had a lot of blood on his shirt, but there was easily twice as much on Callie. Her right arm hung off the board they were carrying her on, her left hand gripped the edge tightly, they were moving through the crowd quickly making great time to the ambulance.

I pushed a few kids out of the way and ended up right beside them. I grabbed the hand dangling off the board and held it tightly, she didn't move. "Callie I'm here. I'm right here." Her eyes opened slowly, her whites of her right eye were red, but she stared at me. "I'm her mother I need to go with her." I said to the paramedic closest to me, he nodded and pulled open the door of the ambulance, they pushed Callie inside and climbed in after her making me go last.

They strapped her down tight and the ambulance began to move. I picked her hand back up and held it between both of mine as they took vitals, flashed a light in her eyes, and discussed numbers in hushed tones. I tried not to listen to them and just focus on Callie.

"Mom?" She breathed, her eyes struggled to focus on me and I leaned closer.

"I'm here." I smiled, I felt like crying, but I smiled. Tears streamed out of Callie's eyes, but she smiled back. She was conscious, she was fully conscious and responsive, damn she had to be in so much pain. The van made a sharp turn, Callie flinched and her face paled even further. "Don't cry baby, don't cry." Maybe I was talking to myself, maybe I was talking to Callie.

She closed her eyes slowly and continued a slow watery breathing as they cut off her shirt and bra. The van turned again and I had to look away as Callie winced. "Two entrance wounds, head and back, punctured lung." All these words floated around the ambulance and made my head spin. I felt like throwing up, but it was probably nothing like Callie felt so I dismissed the feelings the best I could.

They placed piece after piece of gauze on the back of her head before wrapping it tightly in gauze and then they pressed another handful of gauze against her back. A heart wrenching scream rang through the cold van, I fought the overwhelming desire to push everyone away from my daughter and just hold her. I got as close as I could, but my heart plummeted as the scream turned into a terrifying cough.

"I'm here Cal, I'm right here, just squeeze my hand baby, it's going to be okay." She opened her eyes again, it took them even longer to focus and then she looked down at our hands together. Her hand continued to rest limply in mine.

"Can't." She breathed, panic filled her face and she looked from her hand back to me over and over until I understood. She couldn't move her fingers.

"It's okay." I looked at the paramedic across from me, it was anything but okay. Callie's eyes suddenly rolled back and even though I knew she couldn't do anything I squeezed her hand even harder. "Callie stay with me. I need you to wake up." I tried not to shout, but I knew everyone could hear my anxieties.

"Hurts." Callie said softly, I felt terrible for waking her up. It would probably stop hurting all together if I let her sleep, but that just seemed wrong. I needed to know she was okay until we got to the hospital. She opened her eyes and this time they didn't focus at all, she looked around every once in a while they would land on me.

"We're almost there, they're going to fix you up and then we'll be back home." Callie suddenly stopped breathing, her lips turned a shocking shade of blue, her eyes widened and for the first time Callie actually looked terrified. "Something's wrong." I said turning to the paramedic next to me, but they were already rushing around. "It's going to be okay Callie, relax." I wiped my eyes furiously and watched as drawers were opened and slammed closed as they looked for the right equipment.

Her lung collapsed, they pulled out a large needle that made me nervous. I tried to stay strong for Callie, anything for Callie. "Look at me baby." I said quickly, Callie's eyes flashed to me as the paramedic forced the needle passed her chest and into her lung. Her teeth clenched together, but she relaxed moments later. "You okay?"

"Didn't hurt- like- getting shot." She said in between gasps of air. It was awful sounding, she needed the air more than she needed to talk. And the talking made me anxious her lung to collapse again.

"Not funny." I said quickly. "Don't talk." The paramedics had stepped back, there wasn't much more they could do until we actually got to the hospital unless something went wrong. I leaned in and kissed the top of her head.

"Jude?" She suddenly called out and lifted her head off the stretcher. She couldn't go anywhere but everyone reached forward and held her down just in case. Myself included.

"He's okay, he's at home with everyone else. Don't talk anymore or you're grounded." I grumbled pulling a tight smile across my face. Did I seriously just threaten to ground my daughter that may not make it through surgery, you can't think like that.

"Mrs. Foster the doors are going to open and you'll have to get out first." Someone said beside me. I carefully placed Callie's right arm on the stretcher and kissed her again. "Mrs. Foster we're at the emergency room, we need you to get out first and stand out of the way." I jumped out of the way without looking back and they pushed Callie into the building with rehearsed perfection. I sprinted beside them and tried to ignore the whimpers Callie made with every bump and turn.

"Callie I'll be here when you wake up, okay?" I heard Callie call out for me so I stepped closer. "I can't go in there with you, but I'll be right over there. I love you so much, Momma and I love you so much. I'll see you when you wake up Callie-Bear." I kissed her again and watched as they entered the operating room.

I was left standing there holding Jude's bloody shirt in the middle of the hectic hospital. A kid that had been shot in the leg sobbed and screamed for his mother as nurses tried to help him. Another child was pushed passed me into the operating room, but I could tell from the looks on the nurses faces that they didn't think he would make it. Did the nurses pushing Callie look that way? I couldn't remember.

"Ma'am can I help you?" A nurse asked beside me.

"Oh, I just need to wait. I'm sorry, where's the waiting room for the O.R.?"

"Right this way." She smiled. I followed her to a row of chairs at the end of the hallway. I took a seat and knew that this was just going to be a long day, I glanced at the television screen and stared for almost thirty minutes before realizing that I was watching news coverage of the shooting.

"Family for Callie Foster?" I jumped up and looked around. "Are you her mother?" I nodded. "I just have some paperwork for you to fill out." I felt my shoulders drop, but tried not to look disappointed. Maybe no news was good news right now. I held onto the clip-board and knew that there were over twenty pages of information that I was supposed to read and sign, at least it would distract me for a few minutes. I read everything slowly hoping it would absorb time and Callie would be done when I signed my last name on the last page, but nothing changed. I handed the woman at the desk the clip-board, sat back in my chair, and waited some more. I wanted to demand to know what was happening with Callie, I wanted to call Lena and know what was happening at the school and I wanted to hug all my kids and hold them for days.

My phone rang and I jumped at the jarring noise. I kept my eyes averted from the other people waiting, but I knew they were staring. I saw that it was the house calling and my heart began to pound again. "Lena?" Tears burnt my eyes and I looked around for a private place to talk, but I didn't want to leave and not know what was going on with Callie.

"No, Mommy, it's Jude." A soft voice said. I cleared my throat and forced a smile on my face.

"Oh, hey baby, how're you doing?"

"Is Callie alright?" He asked, the concern he had was heart wrenching. I opened my mouth to respond and a little sob escaped, I didn't want Jude to worry about this the way Lena and I had to.

"I don't know yet, she's still in surgery. But she asked about you in the ambulance, she was awake then and that's a good sign." I said trying to turn him around. "Have you heard from Momma yet?" When did I start chewing my nails again?

"No, not yet. Don't watch the news Mom, it'll only make you sad." Jude said in a 'matter of fact' manner. I couldn't help it and laughed a little as I stared up at the news playing on three different television screens.

"Okay. I'm going to hang up and wait for that call from Momma, I'll call you if they say anything about Callie. I love you Jude."

"I love you too." He whispered, and I instantly regretted hanging up with the only person that had offered to keep me company.

Nothing new played on the news and I watched the same report about the shooting for an hour. They had no names, the shooter was believed to be dead, all students were to report to the elementary school. The same message played again and again with the hope everything would be cleared up at the press conference at five p.m.

"Foster?" I jumped up and looked around for whoever had said my name. It was a nurse and she motioned for me to follow her through a set of doors. This was it, everything was over, Callie was okay and they were going to even let her come home tonight. "Wait here and we'll have a doctor come talk to you soon." I wanted to call Lena and tell her to get here right away, she needed to be here for this, but she needed to stay at the school.

After almost another hour of waiting a doctor came in looking exhausted. "You're Callie's mother?" I nodded and reached out to shake his hand. "I'm Dr. Clemson, pleasure, should we wait on Callie's father?"

"You can call me Stef, we don't need to wait, my partner is assistant principle at the school so she won't be here for a few more hours." He nodded grimly and sat in a chair across from me, he opened a file and seemed to be reading it thoroughly for the first time.

"Well we have good news and bad news." He said with a sigh. "Callie had two entrance wounds and the one to her back that punctured her lung was relatively simple to repair. The damage was significant and recovery won't be easy, but if it had been the only injury Callie would be out of surgery by now. The problem we have encountered is the head wound, when Callie came in we assumed it was a clean shot with minimal damage but after a CAT scan we discovered some complications." He cleared his throat and wiped his forehead. I stared at him hoping the next words out of his mouth weren't as bad as they could be. "We think the bullet hit something before it hit Callie, the bullet itself was easy enough to remove, but there are fragments everywhere."

"Can you remove them?" I blurted out, he didn't answer right away and my stomach dropped to the floor. "Just, just tell me the truth." I choked squeezing my phone. He lifted up a large piece of film and stuck it to the wall turning on a light.

"This is the CAT scan we took. Here we see Callie's brain and the bright spots are fragments, we've counted seven." I stood up and stared at the spots, the room began to spin and vomit rose up in my throat, I stumbled back to my seat and covered my face with my hands. Blood pumped in my ears and I was almost positive I was about to faint. "Mrs. Foster, do you need some water?" Doctor Clemson's voice swam into my head. Water appeared beside me and he waited patiently for me to pull myself together.

"I'm sorry, I-I don't know"-

"No don't worry about it, it's a lot to understand." I nodded and looked back at those white spots in my daughter's brain. "Do you want me to continue or do you need some time?"

"Please keep going." I nodded my hands shook as I held the bottle of water, if I brought it up to my lips I would spill it all over myself.

"If you need me to stop just let me know." I nodded. "This fragment here probably caused the bleeding you could see in her eye. We removed it and the repair we did looks promising. The paralysis in her arm is probably caused by the fragment here." He pointed to another menacing white spot. "We aren't sure if we should remove it, it may cause more damage and result in permanent paralysis. We have another piece here, we removed it no problem and the same with these two pieces here."

"So we don't have to worry about those, right?" I asked letting a glimmer of hope resurface.

"Brain injuries are difficult, we won't know until Callie wakes up, but we don't have to worry about those three fragments causing more damage than they already have." Alright, okay. We could work with this one, Lena would know what to do. I felt myself nodding but I knew this problem had just become bigger than me. "These last two fragments, here and here, these are the ones we are worried about. This fragment is in an area called the cerebellum, and this fragment is in the temporal lobe. The damage to those areas is concerning and so we are concentrating on repairing that damage and we will not attempt to retrieve those fragments."

"Is Callie going to be okay?" I whispered, drying tears from my eyes and staring at those last two pieces of bullet threatening my family.

"We don't know, she's been very touch and go, it's going to be a few more hours before we're even close to done, but I'll be sure to come out and give you another update." I nodded and watched as he took down the film and closed Callie's file. "Stay in here as long as you need to."

"Thank you." He walked out of the room and I was left sitting there with a full bottle of water, my cell phone, and Jude's shirt. Why did I still have this shirt? I had to call Lena. I stared at my phone, how was I going to tell her what I just learned? Don't think about it, she's Callie's mom too I have to tell her. I held the ringing phone up to my ear and focused on breathing, I just needed to breathe.

"Stef?" She was worried, she was terrified. "I have Jesus, he's fine." A weight I didn't know was there was lifted off my chest.

"Thank God." I breathed. "Are you at home?"

"No, we have about twenty students still waiting on their parents, probably another hour." There was silence. "How's our girl?"

"She's still with us." I answered slowly. Lena didn't say anything. "I talked to one of her surgeons."

"Stef, just tell me." I struggled to hold back tears.

"She was shot twice, once in the back, it punctured her lung and in the head." Nothing. "The bullet in her head was a ricochet, so there are fragments, they removed four of them, they think it would cause more damage to remove the remaining three." Lena said nothing. "Please come, I can't do this alone." I started crying, I couldn't do anything about it, I cried like I had never cried before.

"Two hours Stefanie, I'll be there in two hours, do you need anything from home?" Lena finally said.

"I need to change out of this damn uniform." I grumbled.

"Clothes for you and Callie, something to eat I'm sure." I took off my uniform top and struggled to stop the tears. "I love you, everyone here is safe, now we just have to worry about Callie and I'll be there soon, okay?"

"I love you too." I waited for her to hang up first and even after the line went dead I held the phone to my ear, when I finally pulled it away the picture from our wedding stared me in the face. Callie stood there smiling brightly, we couldn't lose her, not when she had just joined the family. I pulled myself together and walked back out to the waiting room, I bought myself a coffee and saw that my seat was still empty. I couldn't look at the other parents in the waiting room and they carefully avoided my eye contact too.

I stared at the news and held onto my coffee until it was stone cold. Captain Roberts suddenly appeared in front of the completely evacuated Anchor Beach, I sat up a little straighter and the waiting room got even quieter. "What happened today was a tragedy and my thoughts and prayers are with all those affected both directly and indirectly with this incident. At twelve-thirty today a recently expelled student by the name of Vico Cerar entered school property and began shooting with a firearm he obtained illegally. He had no specific targets and appears to have fired at random, we responded to the situation in ten minutes, but in that time Mister Cerar injured six students and killed four people including himself. The deceased include a math teacher Bridget Dunn 33, senior Michael Griffin, sophomore Emma Barnes, and junior Vico Cerar. Can we please have a moment of silence?" Captain Roberts dropped her head down and I was shocked.

Ms. Dunn had been Mariana's math teacher when she was in sixth grade, Emma, not Emma. Jesus was going to be distraught, how could Vico have done this? Why did Vico do this? The moment of silence ended and the cameras began clicking and flashing in the Capitan's direction. "Thank you, of the six injured two are in critical condition. Freshman Ryan Daniels and Junior C"- Captain Roberts took a deep breath and looked out at the crowd. "My apologies. Junior Callie Adams-Foster. Please join me in another moment of silence." I stood up and walked away leaving my cold coffee beside my chair, I couldn't stay and listen to anymore names even if the remaining ones were only of those doing better than Callie.

I ended up outside in a small garden, it was empty and I walked along the trail counting each tile in the sidewalk, and then each decorative flower in each tile, anything to distract me from the hours of waiting I still had to do. Who was going to tell Jesus that Emma was dead? He probably already knew, another student probably already told him, we had to worry about Callie right now. As long as the other kids were safe at home we were going to make it through today. The Adams-Foster clan just had to make it through today.

My phone vibrated in my hand and I fumbled to answer it. "Stef I'm here, I just parked the car." Lena said breathlessly. She was jogging, I could hear her voice echoing through the parking garage.

"Come through the emergency room entrance, I'll meet you there." I said quickly, glad I would have something to do. I walked back through the building and met up with Lena in the front of the building, she handed me clothes and I quickly changed in the bathroom, it gave me a great excuse to splash water onto my face and enjoy a few moments alone before coming out and facing Lena.

"Why do you have that?"

"What?" She took Jude's shirt from my hand and reached over to throw it away.

"No, Lena, don't." I rushed, talking quietly so no one would look over at us.

"It's ruined Stef, I can't look at this."

"I can't lose Callie. I feel like I'm losing her, I can't do anything to keep her here." I started crying again and this time I had Lena to hold me. She cried too, I had made her cry, but somehow I was feeling better. Someone understood, someone else cared for Callie as much as I did and someone else was completely terrified about what might happen.

"Callie isn't this shirt, okay?" Lena asked wiping her eyes. I nodded and watched as Jude's shirt ended up in a trashcan with empty coffee cups and paper towels. "Let's go wait." At a time like this Lena and I didn't care what people might say or do if they saw us holding hands, I wrapped my fingers in hers and we walked to the waiting room near the operating rooms. Even though we sat there silently it was immensely better than when I was sitting there alone. Every time a nurse walked out the door Lena squeezed my hand, but it took hours for one to come out and say Callie's name. We followed her back into the little conference room and Dr. Clemson was there waiting for us.

"You must be Callie's mother, it's a pleasure to meet you, I wish it was under better circumstances." He offered his hand out to Lena and she shook it firmly.

"Please call me Lena, thank you for taking care of our daughter." I looked to Dr. Clemson praying that news this time around would be better, or the same, just not worse.

"Callie is a fighter." We knew that already, we had known that since the first day she stepped foot in our home. I felt myself smile, that's my girl. "We actually managed to remove the fragment we believe caused the paralysis, we don't know if this will fix the paralysis, but they're wrapping up now. In another hour Callie will be in the ICU and you can see her, she's going to be on a ventilator for a few days and in a medically induced coma for at least twenty-four hours."

"Why? Shouldn't we let her wake up so we know how much brain damage we're working with?" I couldn't do much more waiting. I had never been a patient person and this was just dreadful, I had spent hours in a chair and I was about to spend even more in another chair in a different room.

"The last thing we want is to give her brain something else to focus on other than healing." I nodded and tried to focus on all the questions Lena was asking.

"What kind of recovery process are we looking at?"

"A lot of occupational and physical therapy, depending on the extent of the brain damage speech therapy and respiratory therapy. It's going to be a very long road I'm not going to try and sugar coat it for you, Callie might not be home for months." He waited for any more questions we could think of, but Lena just looked speechless. "Just wait in here while they finish up, I'll have a nurse come and get you and take you to the ICU." Lena and I sat in the room alone, I didn't know what to say to her, today was one of those days that we would always remember and in a few hours we were going to figure out if our family was going to change forever.

We sat in that room for an hour in silence, a nurse came in and led us down hallway after hallway. It was dark outside, I have no idea what time the sun went down. "We should call the kids and make sure they're okay, have you checked in with any of them?" I asked as we entered the ICU, I refused to look at anyone in there, I just wanted to see Callie.

"We should call them, should we tell them about Callie. We should see Callie first, but she's not even awake, maybe we should call the kids first." Lena muttered quickly. "You go see Callie and I'll call the kids, no you call the kids and I'll see Callie. Maybe we should have Mike bring the kids here, they might want to see Callie. Should we let them see Callie?" She glanced at me, but didn't wait for me to answer. "We should call our parents, they should be here. We haven't talked to our parents, they're probably worried, they're going to be upset."

"Hey, hey, Lena, take a minute and breathe." The nurse stood a good ten feet away and waited for us. "I know, I know it's scary. I'm fucking terrified, but we have to see Callie, after we see Callie we'll call the kids. We'll let them come visit when Callie wakes up, okay?" Lena stared through me, I held her hands in mine and her lip began to tremble. I wrapped my arms around her and she rested her forehead on my shoulder, she breathed slowly before taking a step back.

"Okay, okay." She mumbled. She dried her eyes, rolled her shoulders back, and pulled on an expression that screamed 'school principle'. We followed the nurse to a room encased in glass walls, I could easily look in and see, but I refused to look. The nurse opened the door and I followed Lena inside, Lena rushed over to Callie's side and I walked slowly trying to look everywhere but at Callie. In the ambulance there had been more blood than anything else, what would Callie look like? There was an IV drip with fluids and blood beside her bed, a heart monitor, a respirator, I followed the tubes from the respirator to Callie. Her head was wrapped tightly and carefully in gauze along with her right eye, but other than that she still looked like Callie. She was pale, her lips were still a little blue, but it was definitely Callie.

I stood beside Lena and the two of us watched the mechanical rise and fall of Callie's chest as a machine breathed for her. Lena sank into one of the seats beside her bed and held her left hand between hers. I sat beside Lena and wrapped an arm around her. "We can do this, right?" I asked Lena.

"We have to, don't we?" She said with a shrug, I nodded. "I'm going to call the kids, don't leave Callie alone, I'm sure she's scared."

"Scared? She's asleep Lena." I chuckled.

"Well I'm scared, think they'll put me in a medically induced coma until Callie wakes up?" Lena broke out a shaky smile and the heavy fog that had settled around us since the shooting started to dissipate.

"Only if you're really good and ask nicely." I leaned in and kissed her softly. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too, I'm just going to be in the hall talking to the kids. I'll tell them about Callie and that you love them, unless you want to talk to them too?"

"If someone wants to talk to me just let me know, if not tell just tell them good night." Lena nodded and walked out the room. I watched her stand in the hall and open up her phone. I glanced around our small room for the first time, a little pull out couch that turned into a tiny twin bed, two chairs and a television in the corner. I picked up the remote and turned away from the news as fast as I could, Callie wouldn't want to hear that, I ended up on some fashion show that Mariana would love, but Callie would only tolerate, I didn't know what else she would want to watch.

The hours that had inched by while Callie was in surgery seemed to stop entirely as Lena and I spent the night with her. Every hour a nurse would come in and write down her vitals, other than that not much would happen. Lena and I took turns pretending to sleep on the tiny bed, but it was impossible.

The next thing I knew it was twenty-four hours later and a team of doctors were standing around Callie's bed debating if now was the right time. Lena and I stood in the corner, we didn't have much of a say in this, but it was okay I had no idea which answer was right. "Stef, Lena, I think we're going to try and wake Callie." Someone called over. I just nodded and a syringe was injected into Callie's IV, doctors came and went for the next forty-five minutes while Lena and I hovered over the bed waiting.

When Callie's visible eye opened I smiled, there was nothing else I could do. I may not have been there when Callie was born but this had to be the exact feeling her mother had. Her eye closed slowly and then opened again, she turned looked at me, and then Lena, it was just like in the ambulance, she seemed to have trouble focusing on anything. A doctor stepped closer and started running tests, he flashed a light into Callie's eye looking for pupil dilation, he asked Callie to follow his finger with her eye, she didn't, he asked Callie to squeeze his hand, she didn't. I tried to stay calm, I didn't know enough about medicine to get worried over these types of things.

Two doctors began talking about possible next steps when Callie's eye rolled closed and her head snapped back violently. Callie began to seize right in front of us, I reached out to grab her hand, but was pushed out of the way by a doctor, a nurse corralled Lena and I into a corner as doctors injected medication after medication into Callie's IV. So many things were happening at once, Callie was having a seizure, her heart rate was dropping, her oxygen level was dropping, she stopped seizing.

Her heart stopped beating.

**Happy Holidays to all! Thanks for the stellar reviews, I love reading them. Please continue to read and review.**

**-Kodi**


	4. Chapter 4

**Welcome back! Thank you so much for the stellar reviews and please feel free to comment or PM some suggestions you may have for the story!**

**Jude**

Momma called and told us that Callie was out of surgery, Callie was out of surgery and resting. If she was resting that meant she had to be doing alright, I asked if I could visit her but she said we had to wait and see. For some reason that small piece of good news was all I needed to go back to my room and climb into bed, Mariana was sleeping beside Jesus in our room and a pang hit hard in my chest. I would walk to the hospital just to spend the night next to Callie right now, but as I lay down on my bed I realized how exhausted I was and fell asleep as soon as I pulled the covers up to my chin.

Callie and I stood in the hallway of Anchor Beach I glanced around but we were alone, "I think we're late for class." I said trying to peak into a window. Callie didn't say anything, a bang rang out through the halls. It echoed eerily in the empty halls, Callie looked around quickly but we didn't see where the noise was coming from.

"Run Jude, go, don't look back." Callie said quickly shoving me towards the exit. A faceless person in a hoodie suddenly appeared at the end of the hall, a gun in their hand, pointing directly at me and Callie. She shoved me again and I stumbled back. A shot rang out and whizzed past my ear.

"Callie come with me." I screamed and pulled on her arm, she didn't move. I tried to drag her along but she wouldn't move, another shot rang out and blood blossomed across Callie's shirt. "Callie let's go."

"Just go Jude, I'll be okay." She seemed un-fazed by the fact that she had just been shot.

"I'm not leaving you." I was crying, tears were streaming down my face, why wouldn't Callie just move? "Please come with me." Another bang rang out and this time Callie stumbled with the impact of the bullet, my heart pounded in my chest.

"Hurry Jude before you get hurt." Callie insisted. Another bang rang out and Callie was on the floor, I ended up beside the exit, leaving Callie there all alone. I didn't remember walking over there, but there I was about to leave Callie all alone. The hooded figure stood over Callie, its hand reached up and pulled back its hood. Vico's bloody face appeared from behind it, he fired two more shots into Callie and she stopped moving, my throat hurt from all the screaming and my legs began to shake as Vico turned his gun to me.

Bang.

I woke up shaking from head to foot, I dried my face with the back of my hand looked over to Jesus' bed. Mariana was still there, but they were sound asleep, my dream had seemed so real I almost expected Vico to come walking down our hallway in his hoodie. I was too scared to go back to sleep and moms were busy with Callie so I wasn't going to call them so I just sat there for a few minutes staring at the door waiting to see if Vico was actually there.

After almost half an hour I began to feel stupid, there was no way Vico was in our house. Mike would stop him if he was and most of all Vico was dead. I picked up my backpack and walked out to the living room, I turned on cartoons and grabbed a large stack of printer paper and colored pencils. I started with a simple get well card for Callie, a lot of flowers and rainbows, something to make Callie feel better. I focused on having the neatest handwriting I could when I wrote 'Get well soon, love Jude', there Callie would like that a lot.

I pulled out a clean piece of paper and drew her a picture of the house, something with everyone standing outside of it. Mom and Momma were holding hands, Brandon had his headphones on, Callie had her guitar, the twins had their arms around one another's shoulders and I drew myself as close to Callie as I possible could. I suddenly noticed that she was all I had, the twins had each other, Brandon had music, moms loved each other so much, and I had Callie, and now Callie was hurt. I carefully finished our family picture and placed it on top of her 'get well' card.

I grabbed another piece of paper and started writing, I had won the poetry contest but I had never tried to write anything for someone else. I looked down at what I had written and was surprised how honest it was, I had never been able to say these types of things to Callie out loud, but there it was. I kept writing, I had almost two pages filled up when I saw that the sun had come up and Mariana came down stairs. She looked at the pictures I had drawn and slipped out a piece of paper and started making Callie another card. I finished my letter and drew Callie a picture of the beach, I was careful to make sure it wasn't anything like the beach next to our school.

"When do you think Callie can come back home?" Mariana asked softly placing an amazing picture of a guitar on top of mine, her picture was way better than mine.

"Well mom came home in a week, maybe Callie will be home in a week too?" Mariana nodded and started working on a picture of our backyard. Brandon came downstairs and looked around and saw me and Mariana making cards, he sat down and made one and then looked around.

"Is my dad still asleep?" I shrugged. "I think I'm going to make Callie a playlist, I'll fill her ipod up with all kinds of music, a few books, it has to be boring at the hospital."

"That's a great idea." I looked down at what I had done and it looked stupid, Mariana could draw better than me and Brandon had a much better idea. I looked over my letter and decided I would start writing Callie a happy story, I would send her a new chapter every other day.

"Where's Callie's ipod?" Brandon asked looking around for her backpack.

"She took it to school." I said softly. "Do you think moms have her backpack?"

"It's probably still there, I left my backpack there too." Mariana said scribbling away at the blue sky above our backyard. Brandon stood there silently before running upstairs and disappearing for about twenty minutes, just long enough to miss the loud crashing sound coming from my bedroom. I jumped and looked around for Vico before I could stop myself, Mariana did the same thing dashing over to me and throwing her arms around me.

A scream echoed down the stairs and another crashing sound, followed by a thud. "I think it's Jesus." I whispered into Mariana's arms. She ran upstairs and I followed slowly behind her, Mariana was already in our room when I reached the stairs. I could hear Jesus screaming at Mariana while she tried to shush him and figure out what was going on, as I reached the top of the steps Mike tumbled out of mom's room pulling a shirt on his head.

"Jude what's going on?" He asked looking at me, blinking sleep out of his eyes. I didn't answer, he didn't really need me to answer he walked into my bedroom to assess the situation and a skateboard came flying out of the doorway. It punched a hole in the wall and a few pictures swayed dangerously, but the one of Callie's Gotcha' Day photo fell to the ground and broke. I picked it up and stared at it. Moms are going to be so upset that there was a hole in the wall, and Jesus broke Callie's picture, moms loved all our Gotcha' Day photos above everything else and Jesus broke Callie's. I stood in the door to my room and watched as Jesus broke every single thing that he owned.

Trophies, skateboards, his computer, his phone. Mariana tried to talk to him but he gave her a calculated shove and swore at her in a way that shut her up, she stood in the connecting bathroom and watched as Jesus destroyed half of the room. Mike seemed to be waiting for Jesus to just run out of steam and Brandon appeared behind my shoulder. "What happened?" He whispered behind me as Jesus' desk toppled to the floor, his mattress was flipped off the frame and he kicked his bedside table before punching a hole in the wall. I shrugged at Brandon and he sighed and seemed resigned to just waiting for Jesus to calm himself down.

"Should we stop him?" I asked softly so Jesus couldn't hear me and get mad at me too.

"Jesus used to have episodes like this when he first moved in with us." Brandon said leaning down so Jesus couldn't hear him either. "He'll calm down, moms won't be that upset." Brandon squeezed my shoulder and we watched as Jesus ripped everything out of his closet before collapsing into the mess and breathing heavily.

"Hey kid, wanna tell me what's going on?" Mike said carefully finally stepping into the room. Jesus started crying, body wracking sobs, Mike sat beside him and wrapped his arm around Jesus' shoulders.

"Emma." Jesus mumbled.

"Yeah buddy I know." Mike held him tighter and we just watched Jesus cry for a few minutes.

"What happened to Emma?" Mariana asked as Jesus wiped his eyes and stood up in the rubble he had created.

"She's dead, that stupid fuck Vico killed her. I'm glad he's dead otherwise I would rip his damn head off." Jesus spat, he looked ready to rip more pictures off the wall but took a few deep breaths and clenched his fists tightly. "I forgot to take my pill last night." He mumbled and pushed me and Brandon aside before running down the stairs and slamming cupboards. Mariana was crying again and Brandon looked as though he might cry too.

"Don't worry about the mess Jude, I think your stuff is okay, moms will take care of it alright?" I nodded. Brandon went back to his room and closed the door softly, I carefully made my way through the destruction to where Mariana was standing.

"I can't believe Emma's- you know?" I nodded and stared down at the broken frame in my hand. "Lena will be really upset if she sees that, we should buy a new frame and take it to Callie in the hospital." She said drying her tears and putting on a watery smile. She carefully took the picture from me and looked at the photograph of Callie and moms holding the court papers.

"I'll paint your nails." I offered, Mariana smiled and ruffled my hair.

"I'd love that." She said and we walked into her room, neither of us looked at Callie's bed.

**Stef**

I couldn't take my eyes off Callie, I had been watching her for hours and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I thought I had understood the severity of the situation when I traveled with her in the ambulance, but now, sitting here in the bright sterile room, staring at Callie as a nurse tucked a sheet around her, I wanted to hold her. I wanted to lay beside her, I wanted to see her smile and play guitar, help Jude with his homework, hell I would even pay to see her fight with Mariana again.

"Stef." Lena said softly touching my shoulder, I ignored her. I wasn't ready to go. "I just got a call from Mike, Jesus heard about Emma." I reached out and took a hold of Callie's hand, her fingernails were a little blue, but it was still Callie. Ever since the twins had moved in with us I was the one that handled Jesus' temper, but now I just wasn't ready. "He's really upset, he trashed his room." She reached out and stroked Callie's cheek. "She'll be okay Stefanie." Lena said softly sitting beside me and covering mine and Callie's hands with her own, I looked up at Lena and wondered if she had been experiencing the same six hours I had.

"I don't want to leave her." I whispered, Lena didn't say anything, she just looked down at Callie and her shoulders drooped. I know I said I was going to go home first, but I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to leave Callie here.

"I promise I will take great care of our daughter." Lena said staring me straight in the eye. "Do you trust me?" I felt my eyes burn, there was no way I was going to cry again, I didn't have any tears left to cry.

"Of course I trust you." I insisted, she nodded but continued to stare at me.

"Then you know I will call you if something happens and she'll never be alone, but our other children need us too. Callie wouldn't want all this attention anyway." She finished with a weak smile. I knew she was right, especially if Jesus was at home having episodes, but leaving Callie alone was the very last thing I wanted to do. "I'll give you two a minute, okay?" I nodded and she walked out of the room, and stood right outside the door.

"Hey Cal." I whispered into her hand. "You had better be good for Momma, I want you to be right here when I get back. No giving up." Her chest continued to rise and fall with the precision only a machine could create. "I love you so much." I stared at her heart monitor, the line moved steadily, for now. Her heart had stopped three times in the last six hours, she had a total of two seizures and by the way the doctors stood around they expected her to have more. "As long as you wake up, you can take as long as you need to, I'll be right here okay?" Callie didn't answer. I pressed my lips against her hand before carefully placing it back on her bed, I walked towards the door but stopped to look at her again. It amazed me how she could only look mildly injured and be so hurt. Lena's hand slipped into mine and she gently pulled me out of the room.

"Call me when you get home, make sure Jesus is safe, Mike said it was really bad." I nodded and took the car keys from her hand. "Are you okay to drive?" She asked holding onto the keys.

"Yes love, it will help me clear my head. Please call me if anything happens, anything." Lena sighed softly.

"That would just make you anxious, especially if it's something minor."

"Call me." I insisted. I gave her a kiss, took the keys, and walked away before she could say anything else. "I love you." I called out walking down the hallway, Lena waved as she walked back into Callie's room. The further away I got from Callie's room the more anxious I became, as soon as I stepped into the parking garage I already had my cell phone in hand and was ready to call Lena and ask if Callie was alright, I sat in the car with the keys in one hand and my cell phone in the other. I couldn't take it anymore and brought the phone up to my ear, it rang a few times before it was answered.

"Hey Stef." Mike said brightly, his upbeat personality was exactly what I needed. I started the car and pulled out of the garage.

"Hey, thanks for watching the kids, we owe you." I said trying to feel like my old self.

"No, you guys are family, it's what we do for each other." He insisted. There was a loud crashing sound in the background.

"How's Jesus doing?" I asked as glass broke somewhere.

"He's coping." Mike said simply. "Jesus go outside dude." Mike tried.

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do!" Jesus screamed, I flinched, the house probably looked like a tornado had come through.

"Try and get him into the garage to work out, tell him I'll be home in half an hour." Mike relayed my message to Jesus, there was more swearing and door slamming, but the background was substantially quieter.

"Teach me your ways." Mike huffed. "That kid has been screaming from the rafters for hours. How in the world have you handled that for so long?"

"He hasn't done that in years, he used to be smaller and it was a lot easier to stop him from breaking expensive things. Just try and distract him, don't worry about anything he broke. How's Jude?"

"He's been with Mariana, they made Callie some cards." Mike got quiet. "How's she doing?"

"She's still with us, she's hanging on." I said simply, it hardly described the fight going on inside of Callie.

"Well drive safe and I'll talk to you when you get home, okay? Let me make sure Jesus isn't ripping out the foundation of the house." I hung up and focused on driving, the last thing we needed was a totaled car and more hospital bills. Bills, the bills from this incident were going to be astounding. Not that it mattered, it was all things that Callie needed, if it made her better I would do anything.

I drove home from the hospital hoping that Jesus was feeling better so I could go home and take a shower, maybe after a shower I can help Jesus clean up whatever he broke and then sleep. I don't know how I felt tired right now, but I suddenly felt exhausted. I made it home and listened to the rock music pumping out of our garage, I went to the side door and stepped inside. Jesus was in there attacking an old punching bag furiously, I leaned in further so he could see me.

"Hey Mommy." He said softly. "You look tired." He wiped his face on his shirt and continued bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Yeah Callie had a rough night, but she's doing a little better." I answered honestly, Jesus nodded and tears welled up in his eyes. "How are you doing baby?"

"I broke a lot of stuff, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Momma won't be home until tonight, we'll clean it up before then, alright buddy?" He stepped closer and threw his arms around me, I was suddenly glad I was out of the hospital this kind of love was what I needed. I held tight to Jesus and tried to focus on his needs, give him the attention he deserved.

"I'm going to stay out here for a little while." Jesus said giving me a little squeeze.

"Okay. These next few weeks are going to be different around here and Momma and I are going to need a lot of help so please try and keep your temper in check. I know it's easier said than done but try and make it a priority right now." Jesus nodded and got back to work attacking the punching bag. I closed the door as I left and stood on the front porch of the house, the last time I was here was only yesterday morning.

It felt like another life time, it may be considered another lifetime. The family certainly won't be the same, an image of us sitting around the dining table without Callie burst into my head. It make my throat close and my chest hurt, it wasn't something I wanted to imagine. I let myself in my house and Mike poked his head out from the dining room, he had a broom in hand and the standard Mike smile was stretched across his face.

"Hey, do you need a drink? Some food?" He asked propping up the broom against a chair.

"No, thank you though. You don't have to clean that up." I gestured towards the broken glass, it had been so long since a Jesus episode that we had accumulated plenty of breakable items.

"Don't worry about it, you should go upstairs and rest." I got ready to argue with him but he had already guided me towards the stairs. "Go. Jude probably wants a hug from you though, he's pretty shaken up." I nodded and walked up the stairs, I reached the top and saw a freshly patched hole in the wall below where Callie's photo used to be. I sighed and knocked on Mariana's door.

"Yes?" Her voice called out.

"It's mom, I'm coming in." I announced, I opened the door and arms wrapped tightly around my waist. Jude practically threw himself at me, I hugged him back tightly and the anxieties I had about Callie slowly melted away.

"I missed you, is Momma home too?" He asked into my shirt.

"No, she's staying with Callie and I'll switch with her tonight. Is that okay?" He nodded, Mariana waited for Jude to let go before hugging me too. "I missed you babies, what have you been up to? Still in your pajamas I see." I said raising an eyebrow towards Jude, his cheeks reddened.

"I made some cards and pictures for Callie, Mariana helped." Jude jogged over to Callie's desk and picked up a stack of papers. "You can take them to her when you go back tonight. Has she asked about me?"

"I will definitely take these back with me. Callie is still asleep, the doctors want to keep her that way so her brain has time to get better, but I'm sure she'll ask about you when they wake her up." I said kissing the top of his head. "I heard Jesus had a rough morning, did he break anything of yours?" Jude shook his head. "Alright, I've been up all night, I'm going to check on Brandon and take a shower are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, do you think Jesus will be okay if I go hang out with him?" Jude asked softly.

"You'd have to ask him, he's pretty upset so don't feel bad if he says no, okay?" I walked to the end of the hall where you could hear Brandon's keyboard pounding, I walked into his room and he looked up from his Casio.

"Hey mom." He looked run down, exhausted. "How's Callie?"

"She's doing better, not great, but better." I answered honestly.

"Well that's good right?" I nodded and he smiled a little. "I think Callie's backpack is still at school and that had her iPod so I erased my old one and filled it with all types of music I think she may like. You could also take her the guitar, it's downstairs, she'd probably love that." Brandon handed me an iPod with a cord wrapped around it and started towards the door.

"No B, Callie's not doing that kind of good. She's in a coma buddy, medically induced, the music is great, but it's going to be a while before she can play again. Okay?" Brandon nodded and sat back down glumly.

"When can we visit?"

"Soon." I promised, Brandon seemed to be itching to get back to playing his keyboard in solitude, I excused myself and closed his door softly behind me as I left. I looked in Jesus and Jude's room to inspect the damage, it wasn't good, but it wasn't horrible. Jesus was going to have to save up his allowance to replace his laptop and some of his nicer things, but other than that it would be okay.

I went into my room and blasted the hot water, the shower was amazing and cleared my head when it suddenly felt as though I had been punched in the stomach. It was heart wrenching to watch my daughter fight for her life, Emma's parents had to be incapacitated with pain.

**Jude**

I made sure all my nails were dry before heading to the garage outside. Jesus was in there working out, singing along with the lyrics pumping out of the stereo. He didn't look up as I walked in, I looked at all the weights and realized I had no idea how to use any of them. "Sorry if I broke your stuff." Jesus said behind me, I jumped a little and tried to look tough.

"It's okay, I promise." I picked up a dumbbell, twelve pounds was heavier than I expected.

"Here use this one." Jesus handed me a lighter weight. "Like this." We did a few reps together, Jesus talking every once and a while to help me with my form.

"Sorry about Emma." I said finally. "I really liked her."

"Yeah, me too." Jesus said without looking at me. "I hope Callie is okay."

"Yeah, me too." I repeated back at him. We didn't say anything. "Callie used to get mad like you did, she trashed her bedroom when she found out our mom died." Jesus didn't say anything. "I don't usually get mad like that though, I pushed you, I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry." He said quickly. "You had every right to be upset, I didn't break that stuff just because of Emma. I was mad about Callie, I can't imagine losing her, I just thought, 'if losing Emma hurts so much what would it feel like if Callie was gone too?' and I snapped." Jesus picked up heavier weights and kept going. "But you should probably work out more, you push like a kindergartner." I couldn't help it and smiled.

"Here's a deal, either of us get mad or sad or scared or whatever, we bring the other to come work out. Okay?" I said as the idea formed in my mind.

"Deal, but I'll always be able to lift more than you." I rolled my eyes and he shoved me gently. "Thanks, Jude." He whispered, I don't know if I was supposed to be able to hear his say it so I just nodded in time with the music and finished the last five minutes of his work out with him.

We went back into the house and cleaned up our room, Mom was sleeping and with the news of Callie's improvement in the house everything lightened just a little. Things could go back to the way they were, it wasn't impossible, it was unlikely, but it wasn't impossible.

**Stef**

I woke up as my phone went off, I fumbled around with it, something had to have happened to Callie. Where the hell was my phone, I ripped the covers back from my bed, maybe it was just another seizure, we could deal with that. I found my phone and squinted at the harsh light, it took me a minute to understand that it was just my alarm and not Lena calling. I shut it off and covered my face with my pillow, I don't know if I am ready for another night of worrying.

I called Lena, she answered right away. "Hey Stef." I couldn't tell if she was tired or worried, maybe it was both.

"Hey, how's Callie?"

"She's doing better, her heart rate has improved, she hasn't had another seizure. How are the kids?"

"Great, we cleaned up the boys room it wasn't too bad and Jesus knows he has to replace what he broke. He and Jude have been hanging out, it's pretty adorable. The kids all made Callie something so I'll bring it tonight. How are you doing?"

"I'm tired, I'm ready to see my other babies, but I know how you felt, I'm not ready to leave Callie." I turned on the lamp beside our bed and started to get dressed.

"Yeah I know. Do you know how long Callie will be in the ICU?"

"I have no idea, How long until you get here?"

"Probably an hour, are you okay?" There was silence. "Lena?"

"I'm just worried." She finally said. "We aren't going to see much of each other these next few months."

"We'll figure it out." That was all I could think of, because it was true. I had no idea how our family was going to handle having one parent home at a time when we had to be there for Callie and even after that how were we going to help Callie at home? "I'll see you soon, okay?"

We said our goodbyes and I got ready for a night in the hospital, I couldn't help but feel like this was going to become a normal routine for me. I kissed all the kids good-night and got back into my car, I brought all the pictures and cards the kids had made for Callie and was excited to see how much better she was doing, even if it was just a few numbers on a heart monitor.

I reentered the sterile hospital and followed the footprints I hadn't noticed before, I hadn't even realized the attempts at cheer they had covered every surface in. I don't even think I had put two and two together that Callie was in a children's hospital, I entered the ICU and all the color evaporated. Everything was cold, clean, and professional. I smiled at the nurse at the front desk and walked over to Callie's room, Lena jumped up and hugged me. I assured her that Mike had everything under control at home and there was no work for her to do when she got there. All she had to do was get home safely, take a shower, and go to bed. We carefully arranged all of Callie's cards on her bedside table and checked in with her doctor before he went home for the night. Things were looking better, that's all we knew, but it was great.

Lena stood in Callie's doorway trying to think up every excuse not to leave, we stood outside Callie's room and tried to fit in five minutes of mom time before we parted ways when Lena's eyes widened. I spun around to check on Callie through the glass, she was seizing again, her heart rate was plummeting. "We need help." I screamed and ran back into Callie's room, not again, not again.

The doctor working the night shift came in and we could tell right away that something had changed. Callie was getting worse so fast something had to have gone wrong, no matter how many drugs they pushed into Callie's IV she didn't stop seizing. "Her brain is swelling, we're taking her into surgery." She called out and Callie was wheeled away before we could say goodbye.

"What are we supposed to do?" Lena asked to the empty room.

"You can still go home if you want, you deserve a full nights sleep." I mumbled.

"Stefanie there is no way I'm sleeping tonight. Let's go to the waiting room, we'll keep each other company. I'm sure Callie will be alright." I nodded and we went back to sitting in the dreadful room of chairs and suppressed emotions. "I'm going to call Mike and tell him what happened." Lena said quietly excusing herself.

I stared at the TV in the corner of the room, there were two other families in here waiting with us. Just as Lena sat down a nurse came in and brought us back to the private room down the hall, she stated someone would be with us soon and started to walk away. "Do you know anything about how Callie is doing?" I asked before she could close the door.

"No, I'm sorry, but someone who does will be here soon." I nodded and stood beside Lena.

"It's going to be okay." Lena whispered to herself over and over as if that would have some effect on the outcome of Callie's most recent surgery. By the time a doctor arrived to talk to us I had convinced myself that the worst had truly happened.

"Callie's doing alright." He opened with, Lena broke down in tears and I wrapped an arm around her. She hadn't slept for almost two days and this was just adding on to the absurd amount of stress she was feeling, she was responsible for every student that was in that school and they had just been targeted in the worst way. "She had a seizure, on some level we expect those with the extent of her brain injury. What worried us was the rapid swelling of her brain, we performed another CAT scan and saw that the bullet fragment that had been in her cerebellum had traveled and was placing pressure on her brain stem. We removed it, the swelling has stopped, Callie is doing much better. We're going to keep her in a medically induced coma for two weeks and closely monitor her. She'll be out in an hour, the movement of the fragment caused minor bleeding, nothing to be worried about."

"Thank you, thank you so much." Lena sniffled.

"You can wait here or back in the ICU, I'll let you know if anything else happens, but she's already doing much better." The mood in the room lifted drastically. He excused himself and Lena and I were left there alone.

"You really need some sleep." I said drying her face and hugging her tightly. "I'm going to call Mike to come pick you up in an hour, you can see Callie and make sure she's alright, but you're going to drive yourself crazy staying here for days at a time. Okay?" Lena nodded.

"We should go wait in her room." She said gathering herself and tying her hair up. We waited in Callie's room and almost exactly an hour later they brought her back in, she looked exactly the same as when she left, but everything around her seemed so fragile.

Mike called and Lena kissed Callie and I goodnight before leaving us for the night. There was no way I would get any sleep tonight, I trusted these surgeons with my daughter's life and I would continue to, but Callie had scared me enough over the past two days that I was going to worry about her for years.

**I know this chapter wasn't as packed with drama, but I hope you guys continue to read! Thanks for reading this far, have a great 2015!**

**-Kodi**


	5. Chapter 5

**Stef-**

Lena and I managed to work things out, our life was bearable and almost stable. I would spend the nights with Callie while Lena would be there during the day, and even though eighty-five percent of our time was now spent on Callie related things, Lena and I struggled to divide the remaining fifteen percent between our other four kids.

My mom drove down and helped feed the kids and keep the house clean and our friends had dropped off all kinds of casseroles and enough lasagna for two weeks straight. But the stress was still evident for everyone. I drove home at eight in the morning to see Jesus jog into the driveway. He stopped at the door and waved as I parked the car, I waved back and grabbed my duffel bag out of the backseat and walked towards the house.

"Hi mom." He said brightly

"Hi handsome." I stifled a yawn and followed him into the house. "Do you have any plans today?" He shrugged.

"Maybe I can teach Jude how to play basketball." I tried to ignore the exhaustion creeping over me and listen to Jesus.

"I'm sure he would love to have you teach him, as long as you are patient." Jesus put on a sarcastic look of faux offense. I sat beside him at the kitchen table and my mom placed a heaping plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes in front of me. "Oh, mom, I'm not hungry."

"Can I have your bacon?" Jesus asked, reaching over.

"Stefanie you need to eat, you're getting so thin." She said swatting away Jesus' hand. Lena and the kids came down the stairs just in time to save me from an argument with my mother and while she was turned away, serving everyone else, I scooped half my breakfast onto Jesus' plate.

Mariana ran up and gave me a tight hug. "I missed you." She said into my shoulder.

"I missed you too." I said honestly. Mariana sat beside Jesus and took her plate from my mother. "Mom come eat with us, that's the point of these family meals." Every breakfast and dinner we tried to eat together, it was two hours out of every day to devote on them. It wasn't nearly enough, but it was what we had.

Lena sat at the table beside me and I held her hand tightly. "Good morning love, how did you sleep?" I asked leaning in to kiss her.

"Alright, nothing special." My mom continued to fly around the kitchen, passing the kids food.

"Thanks Grandma." Brandon said brightly taking the syrup from Jesus.

"Does anyone want orange juice?" She asked dashing over to the refrigerator.

"Mom please sit down. They're big kids, they can get what they need." Lena squeezed my hand and I took a deep breath. No need to get stressed out over breakfast. My mom got everyone a drink and made a plate for herself. "Brandon do you have anything going on today?" I asked, trying to ignore the whirlwind that was my mother.

"The band has rehearsal today." He piled eggs and bacon onto a pancake before dipping it into a puddle of syrup and taking a huge bite out of one end. "We're working on a couple of new pieces and"-

"That's Callie's seat." Jude burst out from the other end of the table. My mother jumped back and the room was awkwardly silent for a moment.

"Jude I think it's alright for Grandma to sit there while Callie's not here." Lena said softly.

"It's alright." My mother said shakily. "I'll pull up another chair." Pulling up another chair caused everyone to stare at the empty spot at the table that belonged to Callie.

"Speaking of Callie." I said softly wiping my face in a napkin. "She did very well last night, they think she might be breathing on her own in the next couple of days and once she is she'll be out of the ICU."

"Will they wake her up early?" Mariana asked, trying to break the tension that had been created.

"No we'll be lucky if they wake her up when they said they would. We want Callie to have the best chance right now." The silence settled over the table again. "But I was thinking, once Callie is out of the ICU, you guys can come visit her. She won't be awake, but she needs visitors I think it helps." The mood brightened around the table, maybe seeing Callie would be just as helpful for them as it will be for her.

"Also." Lena said, clearing her throat. "Tomorrow is the memorial service for everyone at the school." Jesus put his fork on the table and stared at his food. I placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed tightly. "None of you have to go, but Mom and I are going to be there and if you want to come you can."

"Who is going to be with Callie?" Jude asked looking between Lena and myself.

"Callie is going to be alone for a few hours tomorrow, all of her doctors have my phone number and they have Momma's too. They'll call us if anything happens, but she'll be okay." Jude didn't seem to believe us, but that was the least of our worries.

"What about funerals?" Brandon asked softly.

"Some of them are on Saturday and the others are on Sunday. All the information will be at the memorial." Lena looked around at the kids.

"I want to go." Jude said softly. I smiled and nodded, Brandon and Mariana both said they wanted to go as well.

"I don't know." Jesus whispered.

"No one is going to make you go baby, you don't have to make up your mind until tomorrow." I took another bite of eggs and glanced at Callie's empty seat, I missed her already and I had just been with her less than an hour ago. "Mike is going back to work today and you all have been so patient and well behaved, I don't know what you did with my kids." I said nudging Jesus in the ribs as he resumed shoveling food into his mouth. "I'm very proud, can you please keep up the good work for grandma?"

"I'm always on my best behavior." Mariana said, sitting up a little straighter. Jude giggled and Mariana shoved him.

"I'm telling you to be on your best behavior so grandma doesn't have to punish you, I lived with her for eighteen years and I can tell you that she is not afraid of a fight." Jude looked skeptically at my mother.

"Mom's fibbing, grandma will just give you five dollars to help with the laundry." Brandon whispered. Everyone started laughing at this and breakfast ended on a high note, Brandon helped my mom clean all the dishes as I walked Lena out to the car so she could spend the day with Callie.

"I smell like hospital and really need a shower." I grumbled placing her bag in the car.

"It's okay, I love you anyways." She leaned against the car and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "You look exhausted, please try and get some sleep."

"I will, I promise. Callie had one seizure last night, it wasn't too bad, she was stable the whole time." Lena nodded. "Are you ready for the memorial service?"

"I have to go Stef, I was their vice principle."

"If you aren't ready you don't have to go either." I said softly. Lena leaned in and kissed me. I held her tightly and rested my head on her shoulder. "I hate sleeping alone."

"Soon we'll have Callie back home with us and everyone will sleep in their own beds, and in a few years they'll all have their own apartments and we'll have the house to ourselves." It sounded wonderful, but after almost losing Callie I wasn't ready for any of them to leave.

"I have to go back to work." I said softly. "These hospital bills are going to start coming in soon and you aren't getting paid, we have to do something." I felt my shoulders droop.

"We'll figure it out, it's going to be okay." I nodded and pulled away slightly. "I love you so much." I kissed her again.

"You're right, you do smell like hospital." Lena said, crinkling her nose. I laughed lightly and opened the door to the car for her to get in.

"Take care of that girl."

"You know I will." I watched her pull out of the driveway and the wall of exhaustion collapsed on top of me. I shuffled back into the house to see Jude sitting on the couch.

"Don't sit here and watch television all day buddy." I whispered, ruffling his hair.

"I won't mom, I promise." He looked up at me and smiled. "You look pretty tired, you should get some sleep." You could not fool this kid. I kissed him and started walking up stairs, the kids knew that they had to be quiet and tried to stay downstairs while I slept.

I woke up to Lena crawling in bed beside me. Her head rested on my chest, her hair tickled my nose, I draped my arm across her shoulders. "You smell like hospital." I mumbled. She didn't say anything, I thought she might have already been asleep, but she started crying. "Hey, what happened?" I asked suddenly wide awake.

"I feel like I let them down." She sobbed. I kissed the top of her head and held her tightly. "All those kids were counting on me, I was in charge of them and I failed." I wasn't sure what to say. "And Callie, Callie is ours we promised to love her and protect her and she's going to be in the hospital for weeks."

"Lena I know. It was a freak occurrence, Vico had a lot of problems and he took them out on other people, we can't blame ourselves. You can't blame yourself." I knew it wasn't going to help anything, she was probably going to blame herself for a long time. "You're exhausted baby, we both are, but things are already starting to get better. They'll wake Callie up in ten days and soon enough she'll be home."

"She had a rough day." My arm froze on Lena's back, my heart beat a little faster. "She's okay, but I was worried."

"Why didn't you call?"

"I didn't want you to be worried too." Lena sniffed.

"Are you sure you're ready for the memorial?" I wasn't sure I was ready for the memorial either, but all of this was really taking a toll on Lena. She had loved each and every child that stepped foot in Anchor Beach and this was the worst thing that could happen.

"Yeah, I have to." She said simply. Lena fell asleep moments later and I didn't have the heart to pull her off of me, I was so tired, I hadn't slept properly in days and finally having Lena beside me again caused me to doze off a few minutes later.

**Jude-**

Momma came home and after hugging each of us she walked upstairs to her room and closed the door softly. I helped Grandma set the table and a slightly unidentifiable casserole was placed in the middle of the table.

"How many more of these do we have to eat?" Mariana asked looking disgusted at the pan. She filled each glass around the table and made a gagging motion in my direction.

"Your mom's friends were really nice and are helping us out. Not all of them are as good at cooking as I am, but it does help a lot." Grandma said looking warily at the casserole. "Jude go get your moms for dinner. Knock first." She said motioning towards the stairs. I dashed up taking two at a time and slid down the hall in my socks before stopping at their door.

"Moms?" I asked knocking softly, they didn't answer. I cracked the door open and squinted through the darkness inside. "Momma?" I asked into the darkness, my eyes adjusted slowly and I could see them on the bed. Lena was fully dressed in the clothes she was wearing when she left and Stef had both her arms wrapped around her. I stepped inside the room and placed my hand on Stef's shoulder. "Mommy?" I whispered softly.

"Mhm?" She groaned, blinking sleep out of her eyes.

"Grandma says dinner is ready." I watched as my Mom tried not to fall asleep, but she was already drifting away. "Should I tell her you guys are sleeping?" I asked leaning a little closer.

"No honey, we'll come down, it's family dinner." Stef said rubbing Lena's back, Lena stirred slowly and Stef sat up. "Thank you Jude, we'll be right down." I nodded and closed the door softly as I left, I jumped down the stairs and found everyone sitting at the table.

"They're on their way." I said taking my seat. We waited for about a minute, Jesus wouldn't stop talking about basketball drills he wanted to teach me since I wasn't too bad, I hated it, but Jesus didn't need to know that. Moms took their seats and we passed around the casserole.

"So who do we have to thank for this…lovely creation?" Stef asked, picking it apart with her fork.

"I don't know, there wasn't a name on the re-heating instructions." Grandma said with a laugh. Mariana took a bite and gagged dramatically.

"Alright, I'm ordering pizza." Lena said brightly.

"I should get going." Stef said looking at the clock.

"Can you stay home tonight?" I heard myself ask before I even thought about it. I had enjoyed seeing my moms together, they needed more of it.

"Well, I don't know how I feel about leaving Callie alone." Stef said looking at Lena.

"She's just asleep." I said with a shrug, I knew it was more complicated than that, but I also knew Callie would want moms to be happy. "I don't think she'd mind." I added.

"I'll call and ask, Brandon can you please order the pizza; Jesus, Mari, and Jude help Grandma clean the kitchen and pick a movie. Okay?" Lena said as they walked back upstairs. I turned to the kitchen to see Jesus tossing the casserole into the trash can and Mariana putting away the unused dishes.

"Callie will be alright for one night, right?"

"She'll be fine." Jesus said handing Grandma a stack of dirty dishes. "Moms will see her tomorrow. Grandma?" He asked pausing at the sink.

"Yes?"

"Do you think I should go to the memorial?" Jesus asked seriously. The kitchen got really quiet and Mariana dried the already dry dishes so she could listen to their conversation.

"Well, it's truly up to you. But when your Grandpa died I was very thankful for the chance to say goodbye." Jesus chewed on his bottom lip and seemed to be seriously contemplating what he was supposed to do. "Listen, you don't have to stay there forever and you don't even have to talk to anyone while you're there, memorial services are there for you to remember the good times and so if you think you don't need a service for that then you don't have to go." A smile broke across his face and he nodded.

"Thanks Grandma." Mariana looked confused.

"So are you going?" She asked. "I don't think I want to go if you aren't going."

"I'll let you know tomorrow." He taunted, Mariana huffed and put away the last of the dishes. "I get to pick the movie." Jesus yelled throwing down his towel and running into the living room. Mariana and I chased after him and took our usual places on the couch.

Brandon sat beside me and we watched as Jesus pulled movie after movie off the shelves. "Mom is going to be pissed if she sees you threw all these movies on the floor." He said casually as Jesus tried to narrow his choices between nearly thirty movies laid out on the floor. Mariana was texting furiously beside us and I was just hoping that Jesus wouldn't pick 'Transformers' again.

"What movie did you pick babies?" Stef asked, she and Lena had changed into their pajamas and Lena's expression changed dramatically as she saw the mess that Jesus had made.

"Really? You can't pick just one?"

"These are classics." Jesus exclaimed gesturing to all the movies.

"These are not classics." Stef laughed, picking up 'Night at the Museum'. "Here what about this one?" She asked walking over to the shelf and pulling out a film called 'The Goonies'. "This is a classic."

"What's it about?" I asked looking at the cover, it looked old.

"Treasure and pirates and adventure, all the stuff a growing kid needs." Stef insisted. No one objected to her choice and Lena glared at Jesus until he returned every movie to its place on the shelf. "Mom are you going to join us for 'The Goonies'?" Stef asked placing the DVD in the player.

"I think I'm going to call it a night, It'll be good to get some time to myself you know?" Grandma kissed everyone goodnight and made her way to Brandon's room, which she had to herself and Brandon was sleeping with Jesus and I.

As the movie started the pizza arrived and Momma dimmed the lights as we enjoyed food that hadn't been re-heated for the first time in a few days. The movie was pretty funny and really cool, even if it was old. Moms fell asleep in the first couple of minutes of the movie, but it didn't stop the night from feeling like a true family night even if it was painfully obvious that Callie wasn't here with us. Callie would have loved 'The Goonies', when she gets home I'm going to show it to her.

Brandon woke up moms so they could get a good nights sleep in their own bed, together, for the first time in days and I went to go brush my teeth and get ready for bed myself. Brandon had a mattress on the floor in our room, it didn't take up a ton of space, but we still had to walk in a strange pattern around it.

I don't think any of my brothers slept that night and I'm positive Mariana didn't. The idea of a memorial service for our classmates and friends was nauseating, but it was happening in a few hours. It was dark in my room and I couldn't actually see it, but I stared at Callie's 'Gotcha Day' photo, now in a new frame, and positioned on my bedside table. I tried to figure out what Callie would have wanted me to do, but either way Callie wasn't here. Eventually the sun came up and once nine o' clock rolled around everyone in the house began to stir.

**Stef-**

I woke up, rested, with my wife in my arms. "We need to do this more often. I missed you." I mumbled as she started to wake up.

"I know, Callie did alright without us, no calls." I checked my phone just in case, but there were no missed calls. "It's like leaving the kids with a babysitter for the first time, the separation anxiety with her is unbearable."

"Tell me about it." I said stretching and pulling up her doctor's number. "So once a week, we're going to be home together. Okay?" Lena nodded and snuggled into the covers again. "Hi I'm calling to check on Callie Adams-Foster. I just wanted to know how her night went, this is her mother." I said as a nurse answered the phone.

"Hi Mrs. Adams-Foster, just give me a second to check Callie's chart." There was a rustling of papers. "She did great, she's doing great." The woman said brightly. I thanked her and hung up.

"Callie did great apparently, maybe we need to stay home more often and she'll get better on her own terms, just like she does everything else." Lena snorted and we laid there, comfortably for thirty minutes. "I need to get ready." I sighed.

"The memorial starts at noon." Lena muttered, I knew she wasn't actually going to sleep anymore, but getting up would also make this memorial very real.

"I'm going to stop by and see Callie before I go, do you think the kids want to stop by and visit her?" Lena turned to look at me and her brows furrowed a little.

"I think Callie proved she'll be okay today, and I think the other kids need us more right now. These are their friends, and seeing Callie today would probably just be too much. Maybe tomorrow." I chewed on my bottom lip, I couldn't stand not knowing what was going on with Callie, but Lena was right. The memorial was going to be a lot and there were going to be reporters there, there was nothing I could say to that and so we stayed there in bed listening to the kids get ready.

My mom was making food again and you could hear Mariana running around trying to find the flats that matched her blue dress. I suddenly felt overwhelming anxiety, my throat seemed to swell shut and my heart pounded in my ears. "Are you alright?" I hadn't felt this way since I had heard about the shooting. I forced myself to sit up and struggled to take deep steading breaths, Lena rubbed circles across my back, but it wasn't helping at all. Lena eventually climbed out of bed and returned with a glass of water.

"I have to go check on Callie." I stressed to Lena, she had to be the source of this anxiety it only made sense. "Something happened, I know it, I can feel it." I stressed to Lena.

"Callie is fine." Lena reasoned. "This is another reason why you can't visit her today, it's tearing you apart." I glared at Lena for a moment, mostly because she was right. "I know, I swear I know, but I have faith Callie will be okay." I took a shaky gulp of water before placing the glass on the bedside table.

"I can't stand this." I muttered as the anxiety eased slowly. "I love Callie, I can't stand not knowing if she's going to be okay."

"I understand, but Callie is a strong girl, we knew that when she went into that house to save Jude after being here for a week. This is what we love about her and she's not going to let us down." Lena seemed to have thought all of this through. "We have to do something about these anxiety attacks Stef."

"It'll get better. I'm just stressed out, I won't even try to go back to work until they stop." I promised her. I didn't know if it was true, but the anxieties I was having were nothing compared to what my children had been through and I wasn't going to let them see me like this.

Lena and I sat there quietly watching the minutes tick by and eventually we had to get up and get dressed for the memorial service. There was an eerie silence in the house, we packed into the car and I held Lena's hand across the console between our seats.

I pulled into the parking lot of the community center and stopped the car, no one moved to get out and I shakily reached forward to shut the car off. "What are we supposed to do here?" Jude asked looking out the window, hundreds of flowers lead up to the entrance of the building and pictures of the kids that died were everywhere.

"Just listen buddy, and if for any reason you want to leave Momma or I will wait outside with you. That goes for all of you, okay?" I took a deep breath and unbuckled my seatbelt. My movement was a catalyst for everyone else to start to get out of the car. Brandon, Jesus, and Mariana walked ahead, but Jude hung back to walk between Lena and myself. I rested my hand on his shoulder and we walked past the ring of reporters surrounding the entrance. "You look very handsome." I said as Jude smoothed his hair back.

"I need a haircut." He grumbled, he was right, it looked kind of shaggy, but I would have to remember to give Brandon money to take Jude to get a haircut. I clenched my jaw a little as we entered the community center, the only thing I could compare it to was the funeral of a fellow officer. There were police forces from other states and counties, elaborate mountains of stuffed animals, cards, and flowers surrounded five foot photographs of each victim.

Emma's parents stood a few feet away from her photo, they looked empty and hurt, but were thanking people as they passed. Mike walked up and hugged each of us, Lena was dragged away to speak with some parents, but Jude hovered by my side and honestly I was thankful for someone to keep me company.

I couldn't stop staring at Emma's memorial, curly brown hair cascaded down her shoulders, beautiful brown eyes, she looks – looked, she looked like Callie. The reaction was instantaneous, my throat closed over and the familiar sting of tears returned, but I couldn't look away. Jude's hand slipped into mine and he squeezed tightly, I tore my eyes away and gave him a watery smile. We walked around for a few minutes, politely paying our condolences to each student and victim, but I carefully avoided Callie's corner of the center. It was smaller than the students that had lost their lives, but every time I got close I had the urge to call the hospital and check on her.

I pulled out my cell phone and held it tightly in my hand, I had just touched the screen to call the hospital when Captain Roberts stood up on the small stage and the room fell silent. "Thank you for being here." She had rehearsed this multiple times, but the emotion was obviously still there. Lena reappeared at my side and I listened as Captain Roberts began reading a paragraph about each of the deceased as their photos played across a screen behind her.

"The family of Ryan Daniels invites you to pray or send positive thoughts his direction. Police forces across the nation have collected donations and I am honored to present them to the Daniels family to help with medical expenses." I applauded automatically with everyone else. A photo of Ryan played across the screen as Captain Roberts began describing his favorite hobbies, games, and subjects.

I spaced out until Callie's picture appeared on the screen, the anxiety returned but Jude squeezed my hand again, I don't think he was ready for Callie's picture either. "I have served this community for fifteen years and in that time I have gotten to know so many of you and I am honored to serve this county. Everyone in our community is personally connected to a victim, Callie Adams-Foster is sixteen years old and just found her forever-family with my colleague Officer Stefanie Foster and her wife Lena Adams-Foster. Callie was officially adopted two weeks ago, but she has been a part of their family for six months. We have a donation for the Foster family in their time of need." Lena held my hand tightly as we accepted the envelope, I remembered thanking her and walking away. Captain Roberts approached me after a few closing statements and I struggled to find the right things to day.

"How's Callie doing?" She asked softly so no one could overhear us.

"She's alright, I can't thank you enough for this donation." Lena said with a tight smile.

"I wish I had more to do with it, if you need anything please let me know. I will help in any way that I can. Take your time returning to work, please." I nodded and thanked her as she walked away.

"I'm ready to go home Lena, I can't take much more of this."

"We have to be polite, let's say good-bye and then we can leave. Okay?" I nodded and followed her around thanking everyone for their attendance and answering casual questions about Callie's well-being. Everyone wanted to know more than we actually knew, when was Callie coming home? No idea. Is she going to be alright? No idea. When will she be ready to have more visitors? No idea. Lena and I just smiled and thanked people for their support before moving on.

"Now we can leave." Lena sighed rounding up the rest of the kids and ushering them towards the door. We drove home just as quietly as we had arrived and the kids went inside leaving Lena and I in the car alone. "That was terrible." I was surprised by her honesty and I couldn't help but smile.

"I can't believe they gave us a donation, we should have given it back." I huffed holding out the envelope.

"I would agree if we didn't need the money. How much is it anyways?" I shrugged and handed it to her to open, I wanted very little to do with it. "Oh, wow, Stefanie." Lena breathed.

"What?" Lena held a check in her trembling hands, I leaned over but I still couldn't see it. I took it from her and felt my mouth fall open. "This can't be right. We have to give it back." I insisted.

"There's a note." Lena said clearing her throat. "Captain Roberts expected you would want to give it back, and yes it's the right amount." I handed it back to Lena and gripped the steering wheel of the parked car tightly.

"I can't believe it." I whispered. "Twenty thousand dollars, I-I don't know who to thank or what to do with that money." Lena just nodded in agreement. "All of it goes towards Callie, that's what they gave it to us for and that's where it's going to go."

**Callie-**

I was stuck in Anchor Beach, the halls echoed with each step I took. I walked around for hours, hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks. I didn't know what I was looking for or where I was supposed to be going, after a few days I remembered that my mom worked here. How could I forget something so important, my mom's office was around here somewhere. I stood in the middle of the hall and looked around, I was near the library after the library comes the, the, was it the gym or the cafeteria. Was Momma's office on the east side or the south side of campus?

Something was wrong in my head, something wasn't right, I had been going to school here for months I knew this school, I knew where everything was but I couldn't remember. I decided to go right. Each hallway looked like the last until I came to a closed door, I hesitated to open it. My heart pounded in my ears and I rested my hand on the cold handle.

"Callie." My name echoed through the halls.

"Jude?" I shouted, it sounded as though he was behind this door. I jerked the handle, it stayed stubbornly shut. "Jude where are you?" I was terrified. "Please say something." I begged, but the halls were silent again. I rested my back against the locked door and sank down to the floor, why in the world was this happening and what was going on?

If this was a dream it was cruel, it had jumped from a nightmare to a night terror within the first few hours. Any time I made progress I would turn around and the hallways would seem entirely different, I was tired, I was done. I sat against that door and tried to think of anything other than the maze that had consumed me.

The lights at the end of the hall began to flicker, I held my knees closer to my chest. "Jude?" I called out again. "Jude, I'm scared." I whispered. The lights above me began to flicker, I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on my knees. When I lifted my head I was back in the hallway near the front door.

This happened every time the lights went out, every single time I would reappear here in the front hall of the school. It used to happen all the time in the beginning, when I had first woken up in the school I couldn't make it past the first couple of hallways without the lights going out and restarting at the front door. Now that I could walk for what felt like miles before the lights went out and there was still no way to get out I was frustrated beyond belief. Maybe this was hell.

**Stef-**

Less than twenty-four hours after the memorial our life was back to revolving around Callie and trying to accommodate the kids. I arrived at the hospital late in the afternoon to spend the night with Callie like I usually did, a nurse came in and carefully cut away the bandage wrapped around her head. Her doctor came around and checked the staples on the back of her head, her hair was starting to grow back.

"Five more days and we can take all these sutures out." He said with a smile. "I don't see any reason to redress the area so you two are good for the night." I thanked him, I pulled a brush out of a duffel bag of Callie's things and ran it under the sink in her room before attacking her hair. There were knots and tangles everywhere, I was a gentle as I could be and tried not to touch the bits of dried blood matting hair together. Five days and we could wash her hair, but for now this would have to do.

When I finished she looked like Callie, I tucked her hair behind her ears and couldn't stop thinking about how much I had missed these curls. Now I just wanted to get her off this ventilator and get the feeding tube out of her nose and we would have Callie back.

I took my seat beside Callie and opened up my laptop to get ready to start budgeting, it was the only way we were going to be able to stay afloat with Lena out of work for the next few months and Callie's hospital bills, even with the hefty donation. I turned the television on for background noise and didn't notice it was on the news until it was too late.

"Today we mourn the death of Ryan Daniels, a victim of the Anchor Beach shooting, who up until today was fighting for his life in the hospital." My head snapped up and I watched as the memorial in front of Anchor Beach splashed across the screen. "Ryan was shot in the back multiple times and his parents told us that he was still in very critical condition, an hour ago Ryan passed away due to respiratory failure." I felt like throwing up, my hands were shaking and I looked at Callie.

The death count had gone from seven to eight, just like that and eight could be nine if things went downhill with Callie. I reached out with a shaky hand and placed it on top of hers, she suddenly seemed so fragile again, I tried to imagine what she looked like without all the tape on her face, but now all I could see was how much she had changed. All the weight she had lost and the dark bags under her eyes, nine days until they let her wake up, but now nine days seemed like forever, and so much could go wrong in nine days.

I stared at that picture of Ryan and I had to know what had happened in that school. What could have gone wrong? I turned off the TV and closed my laptop, I was going to spend this time with Callie even if it meant not getting anything done. It actually started to hit me that when Callie woke up she wouldn't be the same and I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with that either. I spent the night reading to her and telling her about the memorial service, I talked about Jude and how much better he's doing so Callie shouldn't worry at all. I even told her about some of the not as good things, my anxiety and how tired Momma's been lately. They were things I wouldn't normally tell any of the kids, but in a sense Callie had earned the right to know everything and it was a toss-up if Callie could actually hear and understand me.

Once the sun came up I drove home to have breakfast with the family and broke the news to them that Ryan had passed away. "So I was thinking, maybe tomorrow, you guys would like to go visit Callie?"

"Is Callie going to die too?" Mariana asked, she was crying and Jude looked like he was about to cry too.

"No Callie is doing much better, and I think it would help if you guys came to visit." I added brightly. "So, Momma how about I take you to the hospital? I'm going to go talk to Captain Roberts today." Lena looked confused, but obviously didn't want to bring it up in front of the kids. I avoided talking about it during the car ride to the hospital, but I assured her that I was okay, I kissed her goodbye before driving to the police station.

I stood in the Captain's office, I had made sure I showered and all the knots in my hair had been taken care of. "Foster I don't know why you're here." She said for the tenth time.

"I just need a favor Ma'am." I said softly. She nodded for me to sit in the chair across from her desk, the same chair I had occupied the day of the shooting.

"How's your family doing?" She asked closing her office door.

"Better, things are coming together. Lena told me they're finishing up the investigation and they've started looking into restoring parts of the school." Captain Roberts nodded.

"Yes, I think renovations are scheduled to start next week."

"I need to see it, before everything changes." I blurted out, I cleared my throat and collected myself again. "Is there any way I can see the school before everything changes? I just want to go inside." Captain Roberts didn't say anything, but she stared at me in a calculating manner.

"How's Callie doing?" She asked finally.

"Better." I answered honestly, she waited for more. "They plan on waking her up on Friday, we'll know more then."

"Alright, I'm going down there in an hour to check some final reports, you can come with me." I needed to stay professional, but I couldn't stop the smile that broke across my face.

"Thank you Ma'am." I stood up and excused myself from her office, I practiced hiding my emotions, a great way to ensure I would never be cleared to go back to work was to break down inside of Anchor Beach.

The ride over there was silent and Anchor Beach looked like a ghost town, there were backpacks and lunch trays scattered about the outdoor seating. "I'm going to be in the south hall, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I assured her, she disappeared behind yards of tape into the deserted building. I entered the building the way I had seen my kids do hundreds of times, there were papers scattered everywhere and every once in a while there would be a backpack, cell phone, or textbook abandoned in the middle of the hallway.

I took a right towards Jude's classroom and my foot crunched on glass, blood was smeared across a wall. Initials were taped beside it with an evidence marker, I didn't recognize those initials and followed the path of destruction further into the building. I made it through the hall and into the high school wing before I reached my first puddle of blood. I took a deep breath and stared at the evidence marker, 'E.B. D.O.A' I looked around, overturned trash cans and open lockers. Emma had died right here, hopefully someone had held her hand. At the end of the hall the evidence markers disappeared slowly, most of the bullets were imbedded in the walls or lockers.

I turned back towards the junior high hallway, following the markers towards the cafeteria. With each step my heart began to beat a little faster, I tripped on someone's shoe and tried to ignore the drops of blood on the floor. I stared at the D.O.A. beside the blood smeared across the lockers and looked down at the ground, immediately recognizing Callie's backpack. I shoved my hands in my pockets to resist the urge to pick it up and take it home, I took five deep breaths before looking at the puddle of dry blood with her initials. There were imprints of shoes in it and I knew at least one of them was Jude's, I stared at the puddle expecting something to happen. I tore my eyes away and ended up staring at a dent in a locker a few feet away from where Callie had been. It was more than a dent, closer to a long grove, I took a step closer everything clicked. The bullet had hit this locker and then Callie, I pressed my back against those lockers and ended up sitting on the floor fighting tears.

That's where the Captain found me, I jumped up quickly and tried to look more collected than I actually was. "Off the record, are you alright? Nothing you say here is going to be used against you when you return to work." She said staring at the evidence marker with Callie's initials on it.

"I'm just, I have no idea where to start." I said honestly. "Can I see the security tape, you've edited it together right?"

"I don't think you want to watch that." Captain Roberts said softly.

"I do, I need to know." I said looking into her eyes, Captain Roberts nodded.

"I'll take you back to the station." I followed her out the door and tried to fight back the anger I had towards a child that was already dead. The car ride back to the station seemed to take forever, but when I finally got there I was second guessing my decision to watch this tape. "You don't have to watch this Stef." Captain Roberts said as we sat in front of a computer.

"I think I have to do this." I said softly as she pulled up the recording. "May I be alone Ma'am?" I asked as the video started. She looked hesitant to leave me alone, but stood up anyway.

"Come to my office before you leave." She closed the door as she left and I stopped the video, I stared at the shot of the entrance, kids were everywhere it was right after a lunch period and the beginning of another all you could see were heads moving in and out of rooms. I pressed play and the chaos continued, I watched as the door opened and Vico stepped inside, he stood out because he had his hood up. He was a dark towering figure compared to the smaller middle school aged students running around. He reached into both his pockets and pulled out two handguns, there was a short pause and everyone bustled around him before he raised his hands and fired randomly into the crowed.

There was no sound on the security tape, but everyone jumped at the noise the gun had made, a few kids started running, but most of them looked confused giving Vico just enough time to take aim and fire at the first casualty. The senior crumpled to the ground and all the kids began running. Vico began walking through the halls firing into the masses, hitting a backpack here and scratching a shoulder there. He disappeared from one camera and reappeared on another screen, the halls were emptying quickly, kids were dashing into classrooms and bathrooms or out exits, but Vico kept walking and shooting. Emma was shot square in the chest and she was obviously dead as soon as she fell to the floor, Vico stood at the end of the hall, near where Emma had fallen and watched as people ran from him.

A few students ran into Ms. Dunn's room a few feet from where Vico stood, he walked over to the door and fired into the glass without opening it. I knew that was how Bridget Dunn died. Vico dropped one of his handguns and looked around at the now empty halls, he started walking back the way he came and re-appeared on the original security camera. He fired into random classrooms as he walked and stopped beside his first casualty and on the other side of the lockers Jude was laying on top of what could only be Callie.

Vico stared at the dead boy then my children and sat on the floor, he pulled off his hood and looked at the gun in his hand. Even though I knew how this was going to end I was terrified for my children, I wanted them to move, to get out. Vico brought the gun to his head and without any hesitation pulled the trigger. Jude jumped up and slipped on the blood on the floor, he leaned in close and was obviously talking to Callie, he tried to get up again and fell. He finally found his footing and ran for the exit.

I rewound the footage and started from the beginning. I watched as Vico entered the building and watched as he fired into the students, I found Callie and Jude leaning against the lockers and talking near his classroom. After the first few shots rang out Callie gripped Jude's shoulders and started directing him into the classroom when she suddenly lurched forward and the two of them ended up on the ground.

They were lost in the sea of chaos and when the halls emptied Jude was laying over Callie in a protective way, when the halls were empty he jumped up. He seemed to be encouraging Callie to get up, she gets to her knees shakily, her right arm hanging awkwardly. She sways and falls back to the floor, Jude grabs her left hand and tries to drag her along, but it doesn't work. He looks up as if he hears something and jumps back on Callie.

Vico comes in and ends himself as quickly as he started his plan, Jude tries to rouse Callie again before running to the exit and tripping on another student. He picks that student up and carries the boy outside with him, I smiled, my boy was a hero.

**Thanks for reading you guys! And thank you for the stellar reviews, I don't know who invited the trolls to Fanfic these days, but just ignore them. I'm in my senior year of college and getting ready for graduate school so updates may not come oh-so frequently, but I'm always writing so updates will come. Just follow the story and I solemnly swear to do my best!**

**-Kodi**


	6. Chapter 6

**I hope this all makes sense, I edited it with a concussion (I play rugby and got tackled pretty hard, BUT I still scored a try!)**

**Stef-**

Time seemed to be moving differently, Lena and I got into a rhythm of checking on Callie, but the time spent beside her bed decreased drastically as she stabilized. We had other things to worry about; making sure the kids kept up with school, Lena was on a team to help the county better prepare for other school shootings, and somehow I got stuck with budgeting our family. I worked everything out with Captain Roberts and started working security at small events and Lena was getting paid to be on this advising board, but things were still tight.

It was just short of amazing how fast the kids adapted to everything though, but I guess adaptability is something you can expect in kids that spent a lot of their time in the foster system. Brandon and his band were using all the free time they had for rehearsal, Jesus was taking it upon himself to teach Jude how to work out and Jude was surprisingly good a golf and actually seemed to enjoy it, while Mariana and some of her dance friends were busy working on routines so they wouldn't be behind when competitions came up at the end of the year.

Callie was taken off the respirator without any complications and was breathing strongly on her own, they removed all of her sutures and the nurses were able to wash all the blood out of her hair and they let me comb it. It was difficult watching Callie waste away in a coma, the amount of weight she had lost was obvious and she was so pale it was as if she had been inside for a year. Now you could see a thick scar shaped like the letter 'c' it started behind her ear, went through her hair, and ended just below her hairline on the back of her neck. When her hair grew back it would be easy to cover, but now it was just a glaring reminder.

Twelve days after the shooting at Anchor Beach Callie had survived three major surgeries, had about a hundred different tests done, and nearly a dozen seizures. Despite all of this her doctors were ecstatic about her progress, each new scan and test showed that she was getting better. There was nothing else we could do but wait until Callie woke up and start working from there, so we finally caved in and allowed the rest of the family to come visit.

**Jude-**

I woke up early, we weren't leaving to see Callie until after family breakfast, but after waking up at six in the morning I knew I wasn't falling back asleep. I took a shower and washed my hair, it was almost in my eyes now, but I was actually starting to like it a little bit longer. I dried myself off and combed my hair back, brushed my teeth, and clipped my nails. I turned on a lamp on my side of the room and started looking through my drawers for clothes to wear. I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be something I was supposed to dress up for or not, Callie wasn't actually going to see me anyway.

I settled on slacks and a nice sweater, it was casual, but not too casual. Today wasn't necessarily an important occasion but it was important to me. I put on my dress shoes and checked my hair in the mirror again before going downstairs just in time for Stef to walk in through the door from working security.

"Look at you handsome." She said softly with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Moms had both been really quiet lately, Mariana seemed worried it had something to do with Callie, while Brandon seemed convinced that moms were going to get divorced. I was just waiting because I knew as soon as Callie was better and could come home we wouldn't have to worry anymore and everything would be back to normal.

"How was work?" I asked carefully as mom kicked off her boots.

"Fine buddy. How'd you sleep? You're up pretty early and dressed up. Are you going somewhere today?"

"I slept fine. We're going to see Callie today." I reminded her carefully.

"Of course. I didn't forget, I promise."

"I know Mom. I'll make you some coffee." I offered.

"That'd be great. I'm going to take a quick shower and see if Momma is awake." I nodded and plugged in the coffee maker. Mariana came downstairs and stood beside me for a moment, wringing her hands.

"We should help moms make family breakfast." She suggested quickly, turning to the fridge and pulling out the carton of eggs.

"Good idea." I pulled out a pan and a mixing bowl. "Pancakes or omelets?" I asked pushing up my sleeves.

"Pancakes and bacon, if we have any bacon left. Jesus might have eaten it all." She found the last package of bacon under some lunch meat. I started scrambling eggs and Mariana put the pancake batter together. We worked quietly, but Mariana kept throwing me nervous looks. "Hey Jude." She said softly waiting to flip the first round of pancakes.

"Yeah?"

"I was just wondering"- her voice drifted off a little bit. "When we were at the school when Vico"- this was really really hard for her to talk about, she flipped the pancakes and took a deep breath. "You were with Callie when it happened right?"

"Yeah, it was pretty scary." I replied honestly.

"Right." Mariana said anxiously. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Well." I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, how much detail did she want to know? "Callie and I were talking in between lunch and Vico came in. It took us a couple to seconds to figure out what was going on, but Callie figured it out first. We tried to get into a class room, but then she just fell on top of me. I've never seen Callie look so scared, but she told me everything was going to be okay. And that's when I noticed she was bleeding." I finished quietly, it was easy telling all this to Mariana, mostly because I dreamt about this every night.

"When we see her today do you think she will look"- Mariana cleared her throat. "She's still going to look like Callie right?"

"Yeah, she's still going to look like Callie." I said confidently, but it got me wondering, what if there was a scar or something. What if she didn't remember anything, she had been shot in the head, not just the head but in the brain. We finished making breakfast in silence and moms came downstairs just as we placed everything on the table.

"Wow, look at this. You kids did great, but you could have tried to get Jesus out of bed that's the hardest part." Lena chuckled taking a seat, Stef helped herself to the coffee sitting down beside Momma and they helped themselves to food as Brandon and Jesus came down dressed and ready to go.

"Just so you guys know Callie is still in a coma, and it may look a little scary, but it's okay." I just ate my breakfast quietly, I hadn't thought about this so much before, but now I was worried that Callie would be different.

The car ride to the hospital was tense and quiet, moms were holding hands in the front seats and Brandon had his headphones on again. The twins were in the back whispering and that just left me sitting there, holding the stuffed animal I had bought for Callie and the card I had made her.

"Mom?" I asked leaning forward so Mariana and Jesus hopefully couldn't hear. Stef turned in the passenger's seat and smiled a little. "Can I ask you a question, about Callie?"

"Of course."

"I was just wondering if Callie looks different. Not that it would be bad or anything, but I was just wondering." I tried to cover up how terrible it sounded, but mom didn't look upset about what I had said.

"Callie has a scar on the back of her head and that's it." Stef assured me. "She looks really thin and she has a feeding tube in her nose, but I promise she looks just like Callie. Okay?" I relaxed a little and nodded. We finally pulled up to the children's hospital and we all got out of the car and followed moms into the glass doors.

The bright colors and atmosphere seemed wrong for what was going on inside, but it did seem to make everything less serious. We all had to sign in and get a visitor sticker with Callie's name on it before getting on an elevator where Momma pressed the number ten for the trauma unit. The elevator shot up through the building and the door opened before I was really ready for them to open, Mariana must have felt the same way because she backed away from the door as it opened.

Moms stepped out and I stayed as close to Lena as I could, Brandon followed and Jesus practically dragged Mariana out of the elevator by her hand. We took a left at the end of the hall and passed through another set of double doors before reaching another desk. "Good morning Fosters! Here to see Callie?" A woman with bushy hair in purple scrubs asked.

"You know it. How are you today Sharon?" Lena asked writing all our names down on a sheet of paper.

"Great thank you. Is this the rest of the family?" She asked leaning around Momma and looking at all of us.

"Yep, this is Callie's older brother Brandon, then we have the twins Jesus and Mariana, and our baby Jude." Stef said placing a hand on my shoulder. We all mumbled hellos and I ran my hand through my hair nervously, maybe I should have worn a tie.

"Beautiful, all of you." She complimented pressing a button on her desk and with a soft humming the double doors beside her opened. Moms thanked her and led us through the doors, it was a circular wing of the hospital one wall was lined with doors to rooms for patients and in the center was a large desk with nurses, doctors, and supplies.

Moms led us down the hall until we reached a room with a piece of paper taped to the window in the door. Callie's name marked this as her room, my heart pounded in my throat, I thought I had been ready for this, but I suddenly felt anything but ready. Mom opened the door and Brandon followed her in without hesitating, I felt my feet propel me forward. I stopped breathing, I wanted to take a minute and get ready, I wasn't ready for this, but I kept moving forward and there she was. Once I saw her I couldn't look away, Callie was there, it was Callie, I don't know if I expected her to sit up and smile and be ready to come home with us, but I didn't expect her to look so helpless.

I had known Callie my entire life and up until recently she had been my only family. She had taken care of me when I was sick and protected me from foster parents that just saw us as cash cows. It was her need to protect me that ended her up here anyway, I had seen Callie beaten black and blue by people who were supposed to protect us, other foster kids, and bullies at school, but I had never, ever, seen Callie look like this. It hurt my chest and tears filled my eyes, my feet kept moving me closer until I was right beside her, the stuffed bear that I had bought her seemed stupid. I should have protected her, she had stood up for me for six years in the foster system and this time it had nearly killed her. I should be the one in this bed, I should have tried to carry her outside, maybe if she had gotten to the hospital sooner it wouldn't be so bad.

Tears streamed down my face and I resisted the urge to lay beside Callie, she couldn't hold me anyways. Callie just laid there frustratingly, there was a tube up her nose like Mom had said there would be, an IV in her arm, and wires that led to stickers attached to her chest. I dried my face furiously and Lena gently placed her hand on my back.

"I can't do this, I want to go home." Mariana said loudly from the doorway, I looked up, I had forgotten about her. She was standing behind Jesus and her cheeks were flushed bright red, she was breathing in a panicked manner and it was just getting worse. "Mom can we please go home? I don't want to be here." She was freaking out, she refused to look at Callie and was attempting to drag Jesus out of the room with her.

"Hey Mariana, take a deep breath. Let's stand out in the hall okay?" Stef said quickly. "Let go of Jesus, I'll take a walk with you alright?"

"Okay, okay, okay." Mariana mumbled, letting go of Jesus and holding Mom's hand tightly. They both left, closing the door, and Lena squeezed my shoulder a little.

"Do you think Mariana is okay? Should I go with her and Mom?" Jesus asked looking back at the door nervously.

"I think they'll be fine." Lena answered.

"Do you think Callie can hear us?"

"I don't know, some people in comas say they heard everything when they woke up, others didn't hear anything." Brandon stood at the foot of the bed quietly, Jesus came and stood beside me.

"Are you going to give Callie her bear?" He asked after a few moments. I placed it beside her and tried to hold in the tears that continued to threaten to fall. "Hey Jude and Brandon, do you think I could have a minute alone with Callie and Momma?" Jesus asked with an uncharacteristically serious tone. Though I had been hesitant to see Callie in the first place I wasn't ready to leave, but Jesus had asked and I knew once he was done I was going to be able to get some time alone with Callie too.

I followed Brandon out to the hall and waited for Jesus to step out. I was suddenly confronted with the fact that I had to tell Callie something when we had a few minutes alone, what could I possibly say to her? And what if she did remember everything when she woke up and thought all the things I said were stupid?

"Hey do you want to look around the floor? Maybe there are some video games somewhere?" Brandon said looking up and down the hall. There were a lot of kids and a lot of families, some looked somber and tired, like moms, and others looked bright and happy. Loud echoes of laughter could be heard coming out of their open doors, I looked around for mom and Mariana, but they must have gone somewhere else.

"Sure." We picked a direction and started walking, the further away we got from Callie's room the better I felt and the guiltier I felt for feeling that way.

"Foster! Brandon, and Jude!" Someone called out as we passed a room, we stopped and backtracked to the room. Kelsey stood up slowly and positioned crutches under her arms, wincing. I had glanced down the released list of injured students to see if I knew any of them, but I must have missed Kelsey's name.

"Hey Kelsey, I didn't expect to see you here." Brandon said brightly. "How're you doing?"

"Better, I got to keep my leg, I still have a couple surgeries left, but I'm doing better." I glanced down at her leg that was heavily wrapped in plaster and ace bandages. I know I'm supposed to feel bad for her and I do, a little. I feel bad that she's hurt, but then I remember all the problems she caused for Callie and Mariana. "Is Mariana here?"

"Yeah she's with Stef. I'm really glad you're doing better." Brandon's voice was dripping with sympathy. I didn't understand how he could seem to care so much about someone like Kelsey.

"Thanks. How's Mariana doing? My parents won't let me watch the news so I don't know about anything going on." Kelsey said quickly in a hushed voice.

"Mariana's fine." I said shortly. "We're here to see Callie." Kelsey only looked relieved for a moment, then waited for us to tell her more.

"Is Callie okay?" She asked after a few moments of silence.

"Why won't your parents tell you what's going on?" Brandon asked instead of answering her question.

"They don't think I can handle it, I think I'm doing pretty well and I deserve to know what happened with my friends." She said shifting on her crutches awkwardly. "Do you guys mind if I sit back down?" We both shrugged and she sat in a wheel chair beside her bed.

"The school released a notice of everyone injured in the shooting, it was a lot of people I don't remember all of their names." Brandon said after a small internal battle with himself. "Eight people died."

"Who did it?" Kelsey asked softly.

"Vico." Brandon answered without hesitation. Kelsey's face paled a little bit and she looked as though she regretted starting this conversation at all.

"Is Callie going to be alright?" She finally asked.

"We don't know, she hasn't woken up yet." I spoke up for the first time.

"Oh, I'm- I'm sorry." She meant it, she really meant it. "Can you ask Mariana to some say hi, if she wants to, it's okay if she doesn't. My parents can only come one weekends."

"Of course Kelsey. I'm glad you're doing better, we'll see you around okay?" Brandon said with a bright smile as we backed out of the room. We shuffled down the hallway quietly, the silence between us was thick and awkward.

"I didn't know Kelsey was here." I said finally. Brandon didn't say anything and we kept walking, we walked all the way to the end of the hall and then we just stood there in front of a wall length window looking out at a small playground where kids played.

"I shouldn't have told Kelsey all that stuff." He mumbled, I struggled not to try and ask him more. This seemed like a really hard time for everyone involved, we turned down another hall and saw Mariana and Mom sitting outside Callie's room. Mariana's face was puffy and blotchy, she must have had a really hard time and telling her about Kelsey now seemed wrong.

"Is Jesus still talking to Callie?" Brandon asked sitting beside Mom.

"Yes, he should be done soon though."

"Can I go next?" I asked looking at Brandon and Mariana. They both nodded, it still looked like Mariana wanted nothing to do with this hospital. We sat outside Callie's room and waited, that was really all there was for us to do. This was nothing like that time we had visited Stef in the hospital, we had been worried she would be seriously hurt but this was so different. "When do you think Callie can come home?"

Stef clenched her jaw, I thought she was mad at me for a second, but she was trying not to cry. "We don't know Jude, we might not know for weeks. Even the doctors don't know." This seemed unfair, this seemed practically impossible.

"Well she wakes up this weekend right? So maybe in two weeks?" Mariana mumbled, she had her chin pressed to her knees.

"No, guys, I know this is hard to understand. Momma and I are struggling with this too, but the way her doctor explained it to us Callie will have to wake up and once they run some tests she'll be sent to a different hospital for rehab."

"Rehab for what?" Brandon asked with his eyebrows scrunched together.

"Brain injuries are really difficult to prepare for, but we know where in her brain Callie was hurt so we can get ready. Her doctor thinks that Callie may have a hard time with moving her right side, talking, and then there are a lot of long term problems that come with brain injuries that we don't have to worry about until Callie is ready to come home. Okay? I really don't want you guys worrying about that stuff just yet though, Callie might be just fine when she wakes up."

"She won't be." I mumbled.

"Why would you say that?" Mariana gasped, tears quickly filled her eyes again.

"I just mean, when I tried to help her out of the school, she couldn't move right. She couldn't stand up, can they fix that?"

"I wish I knew, but either way we're going to be here for Callie and we're going to love her just like we always did. All of us." She glanced at each of us. "It's going to take a lot of practice and a lot of patience, but we're all going to help out okay?" We each nodded and Jesus stepped out of the room, drying his face. He sat beside Mariana and draped his arm around her.

I stood up shakily and walked back into Callie's room, I sat beside Lena and just stared at Callie. "Did you know Kelsey is still here?" I asked softly.

"No I didn't." Lena answered after a few awkward seconds.

"She seems really lonely, her parents only visit on weekends and that's it. No one else comes to visit her." I pulled my chair a little closer to Callie and tried to include her in the conversation even if it felt really weird. "Her parents haven't told her anything about the shooting, she didn't know who else was hurt or that Vico did it. It made me think about if we hadn't been adopted." Lena placed her hand on my back. "We're really lucky to have Moms around, and I'm really lucky that I've had you for a sister. I-I'm sorry I couldn't help you." I wiped my face quickly, but Momma had already seen the tears.

"Hey Jude, nothing that happened was your fault. Callie knows that you did everything you could to help her. Okay?" I nodded because I knew it was the right thing to do, but Lena wasn't there and didn't see me leave Callie laying on the floor. "Callie is lucky to have you too, and I'm positive she's grateful to have you as a little brother. She wouldn't have done all the things she has if she didn't love you too."

"I was thinking that I could come and visit Kelsey every once in a while, she seems really lonely." I slowly reached forward and held Callie's hand, I was surprised that it was warm and even though she didn't squeeze back I held it tightly. Her nails were trimmed perfectly, and her hair combed neatly, the machines beside her beeped rhythmically.

"That's very thoughtful of you." Lena said hesitantly.

"But?" I prompted.

"Mom and I are going to be really busy again when Callie wakes up, how about every time you can come visit Callie you stop by and say hello to Kelsey. Maybe you could start writing her letters. I think just letting her know you care will do a lot to help her." I let go of Callie's hand and turned to face Lena.

"Mom said that Callie's going to be in the hospital for a really long time." Lena's face tightened. I had grown accustomed to this face, it usually meant that she was going to start crying. "Sorry." I mumbled.

"No Jude it's okay. Mom's right, Callie is going to be here for a long time. Mom is much better than I am about being okay with not really knowing what's going to happen next. I'm a little more anxious and it just makes me a little upset that I don't know how to help right now." She forced a smile and I smiled back.

"I'm worried too." I said honestly. "I don't know what else to say to Callie." I turned back to her and bit the inside of my cheek. "But I'm sorry, I'm sorry I left you in the school alone. You never would have left me."

"Callie would have wanted you to get out Jude, she always wants you to be safe." I nodded, she was right, but I owed Callie so much now it was nearly impossible for me to repay her.

"I think I'll let someone else come visit her." I said quickly standing up and walking out of the room. I walked out and Brandon walked in, he was only in there for five minutes before Mariana went in, holding tightly to Stef's hand. When she had finished we all sat in Callie's room and after a few minutes of awkward silence Jesus started cracking jokes like he always does.

Saying everything felt normal would be lying because sitting in a hospital room with my family and my sister laying between us felt far from normal. But for the first time in weeks being happy didn't feel so forced. After an hour of the entire family being together Stef said it was time to start saying goodbye, I leaned down and whispered a goodbye to Callie before following moms out of the room.

"I have to go to the bathroom." I said quickly as we started walking down the hall.

"We'll wait for you in the lobby." Stef said as I walked away, I looked to make sure no one watched as I turned down the hall towards Kelsey's room. She was lying in bed with her leg propped up on a stack of pillows.

"Hey Kelsey." I said softly from the doorway. She sat up and smiled. "We're headed home, I just wanted to say bye. Mariana is really upset, but I'm sure she'll come see you next time we visit Callie."

"It's okay. Thanks for coming Jude." I nodded and tapped the doorframe with my shoe. "I'm sorry." Kelsey said suddenly.

"What for?"

"For blaming Callie for the pills and getting Mariana in trouble. I regret a lot of things and I'm sorry." She dried her eyes quickly and I felt terrible for yelling at her earlier. "I'll apologize to Mariana and Callie when I can, but I just wanted to let you know I was sorry."

"I forgive you." I said honestly. "I have to go home, I'll come back soon though. Bye Kelsey." I waved as I backed away from her door.

"Bye Jude." I walked out into the lobby and we signed out at the front desk. We walked back to the parking garage and piled into the van, I watched the hospital disappear down the road as we drove away.

"I was thinking we order Mexican for dinner, what do you guys think?" Lena asked from the passenger's seat.

"Sounds good to me." Brandon said quickly, we all agreed and Lena made the call as we drove home. We pulled into the driveway just as the food arrived and moms told us to go inside and wash up before dinner. After one day of visiting Callie I was exhausted, I could only imagine how tired moms were. No wonder they were fighting more.

**Stef-**

Lena and I watched as the kids walked upstairs, I placed the bags of food on the counter and Lena placed plates on the table. "I think we should have Mariana talk to someone." I said softly looking at the stairs to make sure no one was coming down.

"What do you mean?"

"I think she needs some help getting over what happened at the school. She had a pretty bad panic attack at the hospital." I explained setting out the food.

"Okay, if Mariana is going I want all the kids going. I'll call in the morning. Why did you tell them Callie was going to be in the hospital for a long time?"

"Because it's the truth." I said with a shrug.

"Shouldn't we tell them that Callie is doing better? I don't think we need to tell them things when we have no idea if Callie is even going to wake up this weekend." I clenched my teeth together and took a deep breath.

"So we should just tell them everything is going to be fine? I don't know if you've realized this but we are now the parents of a child with special needs. Sugar coating it doesn't make it not true." I tried not to get upset, but I knew this was something Lena wasn't ready to accept.

"It's still Callie. I don't want them to think that it's hopeless." Tears were filling Lena's eyes.

"Of course it's still Callie, but we need to be ready. Or as ready as we'll ever be for whatever happens. We know she's going to need our help, everyone's help so why wouldn't we tell them?"

"They're just children Stefanie, I want them to stay children." Lena dried her face with the back of her hand.

"Vico did this, they're not naïve about this sort of stuff anymore and making them think everything is just magically okay isn't going to make coping any easier." I could hear someone coming down the stairs and took a deep breath. "It'll get better." I whispered taking a step closer, Lena stepped back and I tried not to look hurt.

Brandon came downstairs and acted as though he hadn't heard us arguing, I loaded his plate with food and all the other kids sat around the table and began eating. "Momma and I were thinking about calling a therapist for you guys to talk to about what happened, no one has to go, but the option is always there okay?"

"I hate therapists." Jesus grumbled shoveling black beans onto a tortilla.

"Please just try, I'm amending Mom's statement. You all have to go once and then you get to tell us you don't want to go anymore." Lena said from the other end of the table. "All of us." She said locking her gaze with mine, I nodded once before turning back to my plate.

**Callie-**

I sat against the lockers, the school was a labyrinth and there truly was no way out, I had to accept it. There was no way to get to Lena's office either, with every turn I would think it was at the end of the hall and so I decided to stop searching. I sat in the hall I woke up in, maybe I was doing this all wrong.

I rested my forehead on my knees, my head hurt. My head had never hurt before. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, start from the beginning.

My name is Callie, I'm sixteen, I go to Anchor Beach Charter school with my brothers and sister. I woke up on Monday and left for school with my Mom, Lena, and my siblings. That's all I remember. I smacked my forehead against my knees, and my head throbbed nauseatingly in response. I looked up and my heart stopped.

Blood everywhere. Blood on the lockers, on the floor, and on me.

I jumped up and started running, but it was everywhere. I reached the locked double doors and turned and started running the other way. My chest burned, but I didn't stop running. I ended in front of the double doors again, I pounded on the door until my hands were black and blue.

The lights began to flicker, tears flooded my eyes. "Mom?" I screamed, my voice echoed eerily throughout the halls. I panicked I glanced around for a way out, but nothing stopped the lights from going out and throwing me into complete darkness. I shut my eyes tightly and curled up on the floor.

I counted to a thousand before opening them again, I was laying in front of the cafeteria and the halls were clean. Right back where I started.

**Stef-**

Callie's eyes opened slowly, I held her hand tightly and Lena stood over her anxiously as she struggled to open her eyes every five minutes or so. After an hour Callie seemed to fight off most of the anesthesia.

A doctor came in half an hour later and flashed a light in Callie's eyes. "Hi Callie, can you follow the light with your eyes? Just your eyes." I couldn't tell if Callie tried or if she couldn't do it. He wrote something down on her clipboard and smiled at her.

"What does this mean?" Lena asked quickly, tucking Callie's hair behind her ear.

"We're going to be running a lot of tests these next couple of days, we'll find out more then." He patted Callie's hand, smiled at the two of us, and walked out of the room. Lena and I sat on either side of Callie, I couldn't stop looking at her, I had missed those eyes. Callie held eye contact with the ceiling, she didn't move, she didn't look at Lena or I, she would blink every minute but that was it.

"I don't understand." Lena said reaching out and holding Callie's hand tentatively, Callie didn't respond. "I thought we would have some answers." She whispered. "I still don't know what's going to happen."

"Let's wait for them to finish the tests, they don't seem worried, we shouldn't be either. Callie's awake and they said she's doing better so she's doing better." I insisted, but I was disappointed. I had expected Callie to look at me, or just move in some way, but there she was, awake and unmoving.

**Callie-**

My body ached, my ears were filled with a sound that could only be described as white noise. My entire being was sore, but my head pounded making my eyes hurt and my teeth hurt, it was a nauseating pain that only seemed to be getting worse. My eyes opened and blurry shapes danced in front of a white light, the light hurt too, my eyes closed. When they opened again the shapes were a little sharper, I could tell this wasn't my bedroom.

My eyes opened again and I was confronted with the vibrant and breath taking reality of what was in front of me. Everything was sharp and clear, it felt as though my head had been split in two and my body was run over with multiple trains. My moms were sitting beside me, where was I?

A hospital, why was I here? What had happened? I couldn't remember, just ask Mom she'll tell you, but I couldn't. I couldn't move, a doctor leaned close and smiled. Sounds tumbled from his mouth, just sounds with no construction or purpose, was he talking to me? A light flashed in my eyes then a finger moved in and out of my vision, I tried to follow it, but I couldn't move anything.

Moms sat there and the same strange sounds tumbled from their mouths, what was happening? Why couldn't I understand what they were trying to tell me, and how long had I been here? Lena leaned in close and kissed my forehead, she whispered into my ear and smiled brightly. She kissed Stef and walked out of the room, Stef sat down beside me and ran her hand through my hair. It felt nice, it eased the anxieties I was having, but still no matter how much I tried I couldn't figure out how I had gotten here. I remembered waking up for school, maybe we had gotten into a car accident. Mom was talking as she stroked my hair, I wished I could understand what she was saying, maybe she was explaining what had happened, either way her voice was soft and kind. My eyes got heavy and I drifted off to sleep.

**Stef-**

Callie's eyes closed and I started to panic, her heart rate remained steady and she breathed regularly. Asleep, she's just asleep. I eased back in my seat and watched Callie breathe on her own, she had improved leaps and bounds in two weeks, but I was still anxious we could lose her at any moment. I stood up and walked around the room, the bright blues and greens, I had almost completely covered one entire wall with pictures drawn and letters written to Callie. This room was much better than the ICU, but it still wasn't home.

A woman knocked on the door gently before entering with a large computer and a cart. I smiled and returned to Callie's side. "She's sleeping, I hope that's not a problem."

"It might be easier actually, I'm here to do a hearing test since they said Callie isn't responsive yet." I nodded and watched as she carefully placed three electrodes on Callie's forehead and another behind each ear, she placed earbuds in her ears and plugged them into the computer. "This is going to take about an hour, and I think we have an EEG scheduled for the next forty-eight hours when I'm done."

"Is it okay if I watch the test?"

"Of course." I sat beside her as she opened up a computer program and waves began to play across the screen. I glanced over at Callie to see if there was any reaction, but she slept soundly. After five minutes of watching the results splash across the screen I started to get nervous. I felt myself leaning closer and closer to the audiologist and my heart pounded in my chest. "She's doing great, so far her hearing is perfect." I nodded and watched Callie sleep, the hour dragged by and I could already tell we were going to have tests like this happen for the next few years. "Perfect, she can hear wonderfully in both ears." She said printing out Callie's results and writing in her chart. She carefully pulled the stickers off of Callie's forehead and pushed a few curls out of her face. "It was great meeting you, have a great day." She said pushing her computer out of the room.

"Well that's one thing we don't have to worry about Callie-bear." I said brightly sitting beside Callie again. I sat there for fifteen minutes before Callie's eyes opened again, she didn't look at me, but it was comforting to know that she could hear me. "You have an EEG coming up, they're going to put some wires all over your head and measure stuff. It looks scarier than it is, you've already had one done, but you were asleep." Callie blinked. I reached out and stroked my thumb across her cheek, I tried to ignore the feeding tube running out of her nose that was taped behind her ear, but it wasn't going anywhere.

Another tech wheeled their way into our room and smiled brightly. "Callie Adams-Foster?" She asked reading off a chart.

"That's us." I patted Callie's hand and answered the standard identifying questions.

"Let's get another tech in here to help Callie sit up." She pressed the nurse button and fiddled with the EEG machine while we waited. When someone came in I took a step back from Callie's bed and watched as they carefully lifted her head up and removed the pillow from under her head and tucked a towel around her neck. The bed began to rise up slowly and the nursing assistant kept a close eye on Callie's heart rate and oxygen levels.

"Hey mom you can come over here and help, if you want, you don't have to." She said brightly, resting a hand on Callie's shoulder. I nodded quickly and stepped up to the other side of the bed. "We aren't sure what kind of muscle control she still has so just cover your bases and support her head." The bed eased up and Callie's head began to roll to one side and I reached out quickly to keep her upright. Her face remained emotionless, but seeing her sitting there had me believe we could really have the old Callie back. Once she was sitting the nursing assistant replaced the pillow behind her head again, a ribbon of spit fell from the corner of her mouth and the nursing assistant wiped it away quickly. "There we go."

I tucked her hair behind her ears and watched as glue was applied to electrodes. "This shouldn't pull out too much of your hair." I said to Callie who stared dead ahead. "You didn't complain last time, and your hair is already growing back from surgery, so don't worry." They placed well over a hundred electrodes all over her head before wrapping it all in gauze, looking at her like that made my chest hurt. She looked almost like she had in the ambulance, but this Callie wasn't dying in front of me.

I held Callie's hand as they finished hooking everything up and placed the computer next to her bed. They helped her lay back down and I was left with Callie who may or may not be able to understand me, but she definitely couldn't talk to me. "I don't know what you remember, but you've already surprised everyone by making it this far. Jude is doing great, he's safe, I know you would be worried." How much should I tell Callie? How much did she actually remember? Either way it seemed wrong to do without Lena here. I picked up the stuffed bear Jude had gotten for her tucked it under her arm. "Momma and I will try and be here with you as much as possible, but we can't be here with you all the time. Sorry, we love you so much, but I'm back at work and Lena is homeschooling the kids right now."

Callie seemed to be stuck in a cycle of being awake for an hour and then falling asleep for two, I put in a few movies to help pass the time.

**Callie-**

I opened my eyes, I was in a hospital,

I slipped in and out of consciousness uncontrollably, each time I was awake I struggled to move something, anything. I couldn't do it though, everything hurt too badly and all the effort from trying to move just created a splitting headache behind my left eye. Stef sat beside me, every once and a while she would talk, but I still didn't understand anything she said.

When I opened my eyes it was dark, I was laying on my side, had I moved myself? No, that's impossible, I still couldn't even move my eyes. Bedsores, they move you when you're in the hospital so you don't get bedsores. I couldn't see Stef anywhere, I didn't want to be here. There was a paper taped to the table beside my bed, the words were written in a thick marker, I focused on those words, I've been able to read since I was four but now the letters danced over the paper. The pain sprang up quickly behind my eye, it felt like my brain was going to melt out of my ears. I picked up the word 'cafeteria' on the page, Mom must be getting some food.

I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing, maybe then the pain would stop. The door to my room creaked open slowly, I tried to squint, but I could only open or close my eyes. There was no in between.

The light from the hall cut across the darkness in my room, I expected to see Stef, but a wheel chair slowly rolled around the bed. I don't know who I was expecting to see but this girl looked familiar, I knew her, I knew her very well. She stared at me and I struggled to remember where I knew her from. Pain shot across my right side and there was nothing I could do about it, my eyes started to water and I closed them with some hope that this girl wouldn't see me cry. I focused on my breathing, maybe I could control this, I tried to breathe as slow as possible with the hope the pain would stop soon.

The girl began talking, I wish I could remember where I knew her from, but it was useless. When the pain finally subsided I reopened my eyes and tried to remain calm, thinking too much made my head hurt.

**Stef-**

I walked back to Callie's room with a large coffee in hand, her door was cracked open and I could hear someone talking inside. For a moment I wanted to believe it was Callie, but as I got closer I realized I recognized that voice. I peeked inside and saw Kelsey sitting in a wheel chair beside Callie's bed.

"I just wanted to say I was sorry." Kelsey said slowly. "I was really mean to you when you came to Anchor Beach. Actually I've been really mean to everyone." Kelsey sniffed. "I hope when we're both better we can talk, I don't know if you'll remember this, but I truly am sorry." I backed away from the door quickly and turned down a different hall so Kelsey couldn't see me standing there.

When I was sure Kelsey was back in her room I went back and sat beside Callie. She blinked heavily a few times before falling back asleep.

**Callie-**

I opened my eyes to a hospital room, my headache returned immediately. Lena sat beside me, talking in the weird combination of sounds. It had to be me, I couldn't understand anyone.

I tried to move my toes, nothing. I tried to move my legs, nothing. I tried to move my fingers, nothing. I tried to move my arms, nothing. I tried to open my mouth, nothing. I tried to move my eyes, I just wanted to move my eyes so I could see Lena who was sitting stubbornly right at the edge of my peripheral vision.

She must have noticed I was awake because she leaned in closer and squeezed my hand. Just look at her, once I can look at her everything will come together, it just has to. I just wanted to see my mom, it was so overwhelmingly frustrating to have so much going on inside and not be able to tell her.

And then I saw her. My eyes jumped around, I saw three Lena's sitting beside me, but I actually saw her. My heart skipped in my chest and Lena stopped talking for a moment. I struggled to focus on Lena sitting beside me, concentrating made my stomach turn and my eyes hurt, but I could move. I could control something that was a part of me.

Lena was standing over me beaming, every few minutes I could bring her into focus, but it was better than nothing. It was exhausting and it wasn't long before I fell asleep again, but when I woke up focusing on Lena was just a little easier.

**Thank you soooooo much! Please review and feel free to leave suggestions!**

**-Kodi **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey every one! You guys are awesome and thanks for waiting and being understanding. I told you I wouldn't leave you! **

**Callie-**

Every time I woke up it was like being stuck in the same twenty minutes of time. The instantaneous fear and acknowledgement that I couldn't move my body at all, quickly followed by the realization that I wasn't at home in my bed. And after the initial panic and adrenaline subsided pain quickly replaced it, sometimes Stef or Lena would be beside me but other times I was alone, either way I was confused. I would flip through my memory, I was at home on Monday and I woke up for school, I got in the car with Lena. And then I was alone at school, trapped, I couldn't get out.

No matter how many times I replayed this memory in my mind, no new memories came, and nothing told me how I ended up here in the hospital. More than anything I wanted to know what was wrong with me, what in the world had happened to me? I would lay there for an hour trying to move something or say anything, but it wouldn't happen and exhaustion would consume me, restarting the entire process of waking up entirely confused.

I stared at the ceiling above my bed, I remembered being scared. That's all, just scared. I closed my eyes in an attempt to lessen any pain caused by the bright florescent lights, sometimes people sit beside me. I couldn't remember who would come and see me, but I missed them, how long have I been here? Someone walked into my room, I opened my eyes and looked around, but they weren't close enough for me to see them. When they did get close enough I didn't recognize them, she worked here. I couldn't put a word with what you call people that work here, what the hell had happened to me? She smiled as she replaced an empty bag on the IV pole next to my bed, she said a few words that were stubbornly indistinguishable. She wrote something on a clipboard before looking at me again, say something to her, ask her what happened.

I tried to remember how to form words, I had never had to think about it before. The woman had said something else, she leaned in closer and removed the pillow from under my head carefully laying me back down on the mattress. She rolled me onto my side with a rehearsed precision that caused a white hot pain to shoot through my chest, a soft moan escaped. The woman squeezed my shoulder and changed the sheets from under me rather quickly before tucking me back into clean sheets. I tried to make another noise, any other noise, but the woman squeezed my hand before leaving me alone again.

It was progress, some part of me could still talk, I just needed to be able to do it again. That's what I focused on until I fell asleep again, just one more noise that's all I needed.

**Stef-**

Callie wove in and out of consciousness and Lena and I agreed it was a good thing. They ran test after test and marked every bit of progress, or lack thereof, on the thick clipboard at the foot of her bed. There were talks of therapy and other specialists, but everyone agreed that Callie just needed more time. Everyone seemed to believe that more time would cure everything.

Lena and I sat beside Callie's bed on Friday afternoon looking over the notes on Callie's chart from the previous week. The only thing that had really changed was the amount of time Callie could stay conscious for and her ability to focus her eyes on people about six feet away from her.

"Do you think she remembers the shooting?" Lena asked as I jotted down a few notes off Callie's chart and Lena double checked our budgeting for next week.

"Callie?" I asked looking over the top of my reading glasses. Lena nodded. "No, definitely not. I hardly remember getting shot, there is no way Callie remembers."

"Do you think that's a good thing?" I wasn't sure how to answer. "Like right now do you think it's a good thing that Callie doesn't remember?"

"No, she's probably scared." I suddenly recognized. "We should explain the accident to her."

"Should we? Or should we just tell her she was in an accident?" Lena asked softly.

"We can't lie to her, she'll figure it out." Lena gave me that look, I knew that look. It was the same look she gave me when I suggested we become foster parents, or when Jesus was diagnosed with ADHD. Lena had been doing research on traumatic brain injuries and now she was only focused on the worst case scenario. "What are you thinking?"

"What if Callie doesn't get any better than this?"

"Then we bring her home and let her know we love her." I said gently, pulling off my glasses.

"Stef seriously." Lena glanced up at the open door leading out to the hallway, stood up, and shut it before continuing. "What if that was it, those nine months of her living with us, that was all we had?"

"Lena she isn't dead, we still have time." Tears flooded Lena's eyes, threatening to spill over, but she wiped them away before they had a chance.

"You think I'm being selfish." She said coldly.

"No, not at all." I said quickly.

"I know she isn't dead. I know that Stef, but everything is still different. I had dreams of dropping her off at college, teaching her to drive, graduating from high school. Do you know how hard she's worked to graduate on time?" Lena took a deep breath and fought to stay calm. "She probably won't do any of those things now."

"You don't know that. She probably won't graduate from high school on time, but it's still Callie. Our Callie, the girl you almost didn't take in because she was a fighter. She won't give up on us now."

"This isn't about Callie not trying hard enough."

"You know that's not what I meant." I tried not to sound hurt, but that's exactly how it sounded.

"I-I know. But no matter what, things aren't going to be the same. What if every day she wakes up and we have to tell her who we are? What if she never walks again? What if I never get to hear her say 'I love you' one more time?" There was nothing I could say to make this better. Everything she said was valid and had some truth to it, there was no guarantee that Callie could do any of those things.

"You aren't alone. We're in this together and we always will be. Helping her through this is going to take both of us." This didn't seem to ease any of Lena's concerns. "What did you read that worried you the most?"

"Please don't tell me not to read up on this." She said softly.

"I have no problem with you reading up on this." I insisted holding eye contact. She nodded once hopefully in a way that acknowledged I was telling the truth. "Any time I try and look something up I get too upset, so maybe we can do this together?"

"I'd like that." She nodded. I walked over to where she was standing and waited to see if she was actually okay, as soon as I got close she broke down and began crying for real. There really wasn't anything that I could say that could convince her things were going to be okay, mostly because there was no way what has happening could be considered okay. I wrapped my arms around her and held tight. "I'm not ready to lose her." She admitted.

"I know. Trust me I know." In the three weeks since the shooting I couldn't believe that Lena had held it together for so long, sure she had cried. She had cried, but she hadn't shown much awareness for what the future could hold. "When I was with her in the ambulance she was okay. She was hurt, but she was okay. If she gets back to that point it will be a breeze." I kissed her shoulder and sighed.

"What was wrong in the ambulance?"

"She had a little trouble talking, but that might have been because of something else. I don't really remember everything, there was a lot going on." I mumbled.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm serious I don't remember everything." Lena leaned away and looked at me. "She had some paralysis on her right side, but her surgeon was hoping that it would repair itself after surgery."

"That's not too bad right?" I nodded.

"So what are you worried about?" I asked as Lena seemed to pull herself together.

"I need to know what I need to be worried about." I felt my eyebrows furrow. "I mean, I can't stand being worried about everything. I want to know what's wrong with Callie so we can start fixing it."

"Lena just tell me what's bothering you." I said wiping a stray tear off her cheek.

"There-there are a lot of things that come with traumatic brain injuries." Lena stepped around me and walked over to her computer that was sitting on the table in the corner. I stood behind her and watched as she opened a folder in the middle of her desktop. "There are some things that we know or can assume. Callie will probably have problems with seizures, the paralysis on her right side, and like you said her speech." Lena had a list of common problems related to the areas of Callie's brain that we knew had been affected by the accident.

"So what do we do about those things?" I asked glancing over to make sure Callie was still asleep before pulling up a chair beside Lena.

"Medication for the seizures, and therapy for the other two. A lot of therapy, possibly for the rest of her life."

"Well we have to do it if it needs to be done." I said simply. "We'll figure out how to afford it when we know what she needs okay?" Lena nodded and scrolled past a few therapists covered by our insurance that she had obviously been talking to.

"The things we won't know for a week or two are things like cognitive abilities. Memory problems, attention, concentration, impulsivity."

"Sounds like Jesus." I said with a chuckle.

"Yeah it does sound a lot like him, but as he got older he gained a bit of awareness of his actions. Callie won't have that."

"She may not have any of these problems though." I said quickly.

"No, the question is how bad will each of these problems be? Not if she'll have them." The air was sucked out of the room. "Hey, you okay? You just went really pale." She reached out and squeezed my hand. "Breathe Stefanie, breathe." I took a deep breath and held it. "Let it out." I exhaled slowly.

"We-we can handle this." I said quickly. "We have to handle this." I leaned closer to the computer and looked at the list of problems Lena had on her computer. Behavioral issues, language problems, vision problems, Lena was right. Even with the best case scenario we were bringing home a different Callie. "We can tell Callie she was in an accident until we know if she'll remember what we tell her. Okay?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Lena kept glancing at me. "Are you okay? You look like you're about to have a panic attack."

"I'm fine." I said quickly, but it wasn't necessarily true. I could feel anxiety swelling in my chest and there didn't seem to be much I could actually do about it. "When should we explain this to the kids? I'm sure they think Callie will be coming home soon now that she's woken up and doing well."

"The kids." This is where Lena obviously had no idea what to do, she knew almost everything there was to know about what may or may not even be wrong with Callie but she was focused on Callie. "I looked into the counseling we talked about. Mariana is obviously having a hard time processing what happened at the school and I think Jude is struggling with whatever happened between himself and Callie. We'll tell them what to expect with Callie, but I think the counselor will help the most."

"Okay." I choked out. "Can you watch Callie? I need a minute." I said standing up from the table, Lena tugged on my fingers as I pulled away from her. She probably wanted me to stay, but I couldn't. I walked out of Callie's room and went down the hall to a bathroom. I locked myself in the single stall room and turned on the sink. I stared at myself in the mirror and listened to the water run for thirty seconds. My heart pounded in my ears, tears blurred my eyes, and my chest seared with panic. I knew it would be bad, I was there, I had watched Callie struggle for her life in that ambulance, but maybe it was me. Maybe I had been pretending Callie would make a miraculous recovery.

I filled my hands with the cool water running out of the tap and splashed it onto my face. Hot tears burnt my cheeks and I just continued to try and breathe through it. I washed my face a final time before shutting off the water and drying my face. I took another deep breath and was relieved to feel the weight that had previously been sitting on my chest start to melt away. I turned away from the mirror and walked back out into the hallway. "Hi Mrs. Adams-Foster." A voice said as I stepped out of the bathroom. I turned towards the voice and saw Kelsey standing a little ways down the hall.

"Hey Kelsey, how are you doing today?" I asked forcing a smile.

"Really good. I have surgery on Monday, but once I recover from that I get to go to a rehab center." She said crutching towards me.

"That's great to hear, do you want to go see Lena? I'm sure she would love to see you." I asked meeting Kelsey halfway so she wouldn't have to walk too far. "Callie might be awake now, she isn't talking yet but seeing people she recognizes might be nice."

"Only if you think it's okay." Kelsey said hesitantly.

"Of course it is sweetie." I looked around for a nurse or someone. "Callie's room is around the corner, that's not too far for you to walk right?"

"Oh no that's fine." Kelsey suddenly looked like this was one of the best days ever. Her parents must be really busy, any time I pass her room it's always empty and she's always alone. I opened the door to Callie's room and gave Lena an encouraging nod before holding the door wider for Kelsey to walk through.

"Hi Mrs. Adams-Foster." Kelsey said with a huge smile. Lena jumped up and hugged her, one of her crutches clattered loudly to the floor.

"Oh Kelsey." Lena said holding her tightly. "I've been so worried about you, I've been trying to check in with your parents but they won't answer."

"It's okay." Kelsey said through Lena's shirt, but I could see that Kelsey was crying. I averted my eyes a little so she wouldn't feel embarrassed and checked on Callie. It was about time for her to wake up again, but as of now she was still asleep. "I'm doing a lot better." Kelsey said proudly.

"Yes you are." Lena said smiling and looking her up and down. "Up and walking, you're doing great sweetie." I picked up Kelsey's dropped crutch and handed it back to her and Lena walked over with her to the table in the corner. Lena quickly shut her computer so Kelsey couldn't see the terrifying doctor's reports about cognitive disabilities. Kelsey eased down into the chair wincing a little and she had to sit at an awkward angle to accommodate the bulky cast.

"I-I wanted to say I was sorry." Kelsey said softly. I turned back to Callie to give Lena and Kelsey another moment. "I pressured Mariana into selling those pills and I lied and said Callie did it. I was the one that stole the hat, I did all of those things. I'm really sorry, I'm so sorry." Kelsey confessed all of these things and just waited to hear what Lena had to say.

"It's okay Kelsey, everything is going to be okay. I promise." Lena said softly. "We all make mistakes, those things you did, those choices. We can fix all those okay?"

"I talked to my parents about what I did. They said you might expel me once you knew."

"No honey, we aren't expelling anyone right now." Lena said softly. "I promise you can still go to Anchor Beach if you want." Tears spilled over Kelsey's eyes again but she smiled brightly. I reached out to Callie's hand and held it tightly watching her eyes flutter open as they did every few hours. I squeezed her hand to let her know I was there and her eyes found me, I smiled, her eyes drifted away and her face remained still. My stomach knotted tightly, this was what Lena was talking about, what if Callie was trapped like this forever.

I could hear Lena and Kelsey talking in the corner, they were just talking about all the things Kelsey wanted to do once she was out of the hospital. Callie may not be able to do any of those things. I squeezed Callie's hand a little harder and to my surprise she squeezed back. Her face didn't change, but her fingertips were white, she was holding my hand. I held it back and kissed her fingers, I wanted to jump with joy and hold her tightly, but more than anything I didn't want this moment to end.

"Lena, Lena come here." I said quickly. Lena jumped up, obviously concerned that something had gone wrong. "Look Lena, look." I said gesturing to our interlocked hands.

"I, I don't understand." Lena said slowly. I carefully pried my hand out of Callie's and interlocked their hands together. I watched as Callie tightened her fingers again over her Momma's hand. It was painfully slow and appeared to take an incredible amount of effort but Lena's face broke into a smile I hadn't realized I had missed so much. Lena wrapped her other hand around Callie's and leaned in close to her. Lena's curls brushed Callie's face, but her expression remained still, Lena whispered something into Callie's ear and I looked back to see Kelsey still sitting there.

"You can come over and talk to Callie if you want. She can hear you." Kelsey looked a little anxious at the notion of this.

"I don't know. Callie and I didn't get along very well. She should hate me." Kelsey said honestly.

"Trust me honey, it takes a lot for Callie to hate someone. She doesn't hate you, you guys weren't friends, but she doesn't hate you." Kelsey looked as though she didn't quite believe me, but she also didn't question it. She hopped a little closer to the side of Callie's bed and waited patiently for Lena to step back. When she finally did lean away from Callie she had tears in her eyes again but she truly looked happy, Kelsey stepped in looking nervous, but it didn't stop her from talking to Callie. Lena never let go of Callie's hand even though as time passed it was obvious Callie was falling back asleep.

"Thanks for letting me spend time with you guys, I think I'm going to go back to my room now." Kelsey said once Callie had actually fallen asleep.

"Do you need one of us to walk with you?" I asked, Lena looked like she wasn't going to let go of Callie's hand any time soon even though Callie wasn't holding it anymore.

"No, I'll be okay, I have to get ready for physical therapy." Kelsey assured me, she walked towards the door and I held it open for her.

"Thanks for visiting Callie, it really means a lot to us." I said placing my hand on Kelsey's shoulder.

"Thanks for letting me come over, it gets kind of boring in my room by myself."

"Well whenever Lena or I are here you can come see Callie, and when she's doing better feel free to come in and hang out with her. I'm sure she'll appreciate it." I said softly. Kelsey nodded and I watched her walk down the hall, she was different.

She was more like the Kelsey Mariana had been friends with in elementary school. A little girl without many friends, and back then Kelsey used to spend entire weekends at our house because her parents were going through such a nasty divorce. I closed the door and tried not to think about the Kelsey that had been lying helplessly on the floor in the security tape.

"We should let the kids come visit soon. Maybe seeing Jude and everyone else will make Callie feel better." Lena said, turning away from Callie for the first time since she had held her hand.

"Let's wait just a few more days. Just a few okay?" Lena nodded and finally let go of Callie's now limp hand. "I don't want the kids to be scared."

"Speaking of the kids, it's getting late, we told them we would be home for family dinner." Lena started packing up her stuff and I made sure she didn't forget anything. "Okay, good to go?"

"Yep." I leaned over and kissed Callie's forehead, I told her how much I loved her and waited in the hall for Lena to do the same.

"Alright. Let's go home." Lena said shutting off the lights and closing the door gently. I placed my hand on the small of Lena's back and we walked out of the hospital together. I pulled the keys out of my pocket and pressed the button for the elevator, as the doors closed I reached out and held Lena's hand. "I'm exhausted." Lena chuckled. "I'm jealous that Callie gets to sleep all day."

"We'll have to put her to work when she's up and moving." I agreed. The doors opened on the fifth floor and I reflexively let go of Lena's hand, but it was too late. The man that was about to step on saw us and hesitated slightly before shuffling inside, his cheeks turning red. I reached back over and held Lena's hand again, today I didn't care. "What floor sir?" I asked reaching towards the buttons, but he just reached across and pressed the button for the lobby. Callie was getting better and this man wasn't going to ruin my day, his floor came before ours and he walked off the elevator quickly.

And then I heard it, a word that made my face flush and my blood boil. I wanted to say something back, but the doors were already closed. I felt Lena's hand tighten over my arm but I shook her away and jammed my finger into the door open button. The elevator started moving down and I slammed my hand against the wall swearing.

"Hey." Lena shouted. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"What do you mean what the hell is the matter with me?" I shouted, Lena clenched her teeth. "I know you heard what he just called us."

"Of course I did, but why do you care so much now?"

"What are you saying that I've never cared before?" I spewed.

"Stop yelling and calm down." Lena said slowly, she was pissed, but she was pissed at me. "He's no one, we'll never see him again, he has no idea who we are, it's going to be okay."

"If he can say it to our faces imagine what he says at home behind closed doors." I was fuming and it was taking all of my energy not to shout at Lena some more.

"What it the kids were here with us?"

"The kids aren't here with us, what do the kids have to do with this. That man just insulted you, he insulted us and it's my job to protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me." Lena said, she was annoyed now. "What can you do that I can't do for myself?"

"That's not what I meant." I said through clenched teeth. The door to the elevator opened into the parking garage and I stormed out.

"It upset me too, but we both know that there are some things you just have to let go." Lena said jogging to catch up.

"No there aren't. I know that's what we used to tell our kids when they were picked on or made fun of but look where it has gotten us. I think we were wrong, the kids may go to a different school next year and we've all heard the horror stories of what happens to kids with 'fag parents'."

"Please don't say that word." Lena said softly.

"It suddenly bothers you now?" I asked angrily. I opened her car door for her to get in, but she pulled it closed before I could close it for her. "So strangers on elevators can call us 'fags' but when I say it, it makes you uncomfortable?" I asked starting the car.

"Seriously Stefanie you want to have this kind of conversation now?" She said throwing her hands in the air. I started the car and took a deep breath before backing out of the parking space.

"When else would we have this conversation?" I asked, putting the car in drive.

"It's been a long day and I think we're just tired okay?" Lena said slowly.

"It was a great day until that ass hole ruined it. I don't understand why you're mad at me." I snapped.

"I'm not mad at you for being upset, but you're losing it. You're letting what one stupid man said one time ruin your day." I pulled onto the highway and we started the hour commute back home.

"It's not about that, it's about the fact that I couldn't stand up for you and my family. He got to walk into that elevator and ruin our day with our daughter with one stupid fucking word. And you don't care."

"I do care, and you didn't need to defend the family."

"I obviously did because you weren't going to." The car was dead silent. "Fuck." I shouted. I took a deep breath and reached over for Lena's hand, but she pulled away. "Fine." I whispered. The car was silent with a thick disgusting amount of tension. I pulled into the drive way and Lena jumped out of the car, I opened the trunk and reached for her bag but she pulled it out before me. "Hun"-

"Don't talk to me right now." She cut me off. I closed the door and locked the car, she was already opening the front door and walked inside without me. I took a deep breath and walked inside.

"Hey mom!" Brandon shouted from the kitchen, Jude wrapped his arms around my waist and I leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

"How was your day buddy?" I asked pushing his shaggy hair out of his eyes.

"Okay, Connor asked if he could come over but I wasn't sure if he was allowed to without you home."

"Of course he can, how about tomorrow?" Jude smiled.

"I'll go text him." He ran up the stairs and Mariana peeked out from the kitchen.

"You guys are late. I already set the table and everything." She said with a hint of Mariana sass.

"Yeah, we saw Kelsey at the hospital, she's doing really well." Lena said giving her a hug. Brandon pulled a casserole out of the oven.

"This one looks like it might actually be good." He said happily. "Jesus is in the garage working out." He said placing the casserole in the middle of the table. Jude came jogging down the stairs with his cell phone in his hand.

"Hey Jude can you go get Jesus and tell his it's time for dinner?" Lena asked scooping servings onto each of the plates. He dropped his phone on the table and ran out the back door to the garage. Everyone gathered around the table, Lena asked each of the kids how their day was and then it was just quiet.

"How's Callie, is she doing better?" Jude asked after looking between Lena and I.

"Yes Callie is doing a lot better, she can stay awake a bit longer, she isn't talking yet but we just have to keep being patient." Lena said quickly. "I was thinking you guys can come visit again in another week." Jude lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Lena I thought we were going to wait." I said quickly, Jude deflated almost instantly.

"Callie needs this." She said without looking at me. "So next Friday, how does that sound?" Lena said brightly. Jude looked between the two of us, Brandon had caught on too. Jesus was too busy eating and Mariana was texting under the table.

"What happened?" Brandon asked softly. "Is Callie okay?"

"Callie's fine, this has nothing to do with Callie alright?" Lena said quickly. Brandon just nodded once, but then looked over at me.

"It's all good." I assured him with a smile, he didn't believe me.

"Are you guys getting a divorce?" Jude asked softly.

"No." Lena and I said in unison.

"Who told you that?" I demanded looking at Jesus and Brandon.

"Stef really with the shouting?"

"Dammit Lena this is why the kids think we're getting a divorce. I'm upset, people shout when they're upset." I took a deep breath and looked at Jude. "No one is getting a divorce."

"What made you upset?" Jesus asked.

"Just someone at the hospital." Lena said quickly.

"What happened?"

"Jesus I don't"- Lena started.

"Someone called us"-

"Stefanie don't. Seriously, can you just stop?" Lena shouted over everyone. "We were called a name that I never want to hear in this house, from anyone, understand?" Everyone murmured a 'yes' and then the kitchen was quiet again. "We aren't getting a divorce, I still love your mom very much, and everything is just really hard right now. I understand it's hard for you guys too, but everyone has to keep doing their best."

"I'm sorry." I said across the table. Lena just nodded, she was going to get over it, but it was obvious I was sleeping on the couch tonight. We finished dinner in an awkward silence, and the kids fled the kitchen as fast as they could, leaving us there doing dishes. "I am sorry, I really mean it. I didn't mean what I said about you not standing up for the kids. I shouldn't have even said it."

"I know, I'm still mad at you though." She said handing me a dish to dry. "Since when did we decide not to send the kids back to Anchor Beach?" She said softly so any eavesdropper couldn't hear.

"When did I say that?"

"When we were on the way home, you mentioned standing up for the kids if they didn't go back to Anchor Beach. What's wrong with Anchor Beach?"

"It freaks me out. I don't know if I can send our kids back to the place they almost died." I said holding back a shudder. "I doubt Mariana wants to go back, and if she doesn't go Jesus won't go. Brandon is getting really far behind and we could send him to that private school we looked at, I really don't know about sending Callie back there. Then if Callie doesn't go back there is no way Jude is going to a different school than his sister."

"Well we don't know how long it will be before Callie goes back to school if she does at all." That was true. "But you're right about Brandon, he needs to go back if he wants to graduate next year. I'll call around and see what I can do, but we can't afford private school right now."

"Maybe they'll give him a scholarship or something." I suggested. Lena didn't answer, the conversation was over.

**Callie-**

I woke up to people touching me, my heart pounded in my ears making my head pulse. I struggled to open my eyes, but they wouldn't open. I wanted to call out for moms, someone was in the house. I finally pried my eyes open and I wasn't in my room, where was I? A hospital. People were around me and touching me, as soon as my eyes opened a face leaned in and smiled. I don't recognize this person, they begin to talk but their words are just harsh nonsense. I try to ask for help, ask someone to tell me where I am or how I got here, but my body won't respond. I want to tell someone that it hurts, everything hurts. The sounds in the room hurt my teeth, the lights hurt my eyes, my heart beating is like a bomb ticking down until my head explodes, and the right side of my chest has a stabbing pain every time I breathe. I need to tell someone so they can help me, but I can't move.

Someone's finger is placed in front of my face and it moves back and forth. I follow it the best I can with my eyes, but it blurs in and out of focus causing lightning to shoot behind my eye. I shut my eyes to make it stop, and feel tears fall from the corners of my eyes. The hands don't stop touching me, but suddenly my entire body begins to move and I'm sitting up. Muscles along my back contract involuntarily and I struggle to move something, all my weight shifts onto my right side for a brief moment and I take little breaths to make it stop. White hot pain that I can't tell anyone about, I want to scream, but more tears just spill over. I focus on those little breaths and keeping my eyes closed, I'm in the hospital, something happened.

The hands finally stop touching me and someone wipes away the tears on my face with a towel. I open them as the pain in my chest begins to fade and there are only two people left in the room. "Breathe." A woman beside my bed says slowly, she's wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants. There's a logo on her shirt but it blurs whenever I try to read it. "Callie." Callie, Callie, that's my name. I look up at her, I had understood her. She smiles and steps a little closer. Her lips moved, but I didn't understand her this time, she must have asked me to do something because she continued to stare at me. I wanted to explain to her that I just didn't understand, I wasn't ignoring her I just couldn't do anything.

She starts talking again, I stare at her mouth. Something about me, I heard my name again, but it was surrounded by words I didn't recognize. She nodded at me, probably asking if I understood, but I couldn't even shake my head no. "Blink." She said slowly. She blinked. "Once for yes." She nodded, demonstrated and then nodded again. "Twice." She blinked twice. "Twice for no." She shook her head. "Okay?" I thought of the words she had just said. 'Blink once for yes, twice for no.' I thought of that sentence for almost three minutes before I understood what she was asking me to do. "Okay?" She asked holding up her hand in the okay sign. What was yes again? I'm supposed to blink, blink, blink just once. I squeezed my eyes shut and a smile broke out across her face.

She held up a laminated piece of paper with a smiling face on it and the word happy below it. "You feel…" The rest of the words were jumbled, but she gestured to the smiling face. I blinked twice. She held up another card with a sad face, blink twice. Hurt, yes I was hurt, blink once. She held up another card, pain, I squeezed my eyes shut once and she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. Less than a minute later a nurse came in with a syringe in hand and pushed it into the IV in my arm, the pain fuzzed out into a dull throb and breathing was easier. Now it was just the two of us, she said something, I tried to focus on her mouth as she talked, but I still didn't understand a single thing.

She pointed at her mouth and opened it, then pointed at me. Was I supposed to open my mouth, I had tried that, it wasn't going to happen. But I focused on it, I struggled, I took a deep breath and parted my lips. She smiled again. She said something else, and then made an 'ahhh' sound like they tell you to do at the doctor's office. I tried for nearly five straight minutes before she let me stop, she wrote down something on a clipboard and smiled at me again. She held my left hand and squeezed it gently, squeezed each finger, and then poked the center of my hand with a pin. My fingers twitched involuntarily, she did the same with my right hand, but when she poked the middle of my palm my fingers hardly moved. She tried again, but it wasn't any better. Whatever my hand was supposed to do it obviously wasn't that. She did the same thing with the bottoms of my feet. My left leg jerked away from the pin, but my right foot didn't move at all.

"Can you feel that Callie?" She asked slowly leaning close and pressing into the arch of my foot with her thumb. I blinked once and she made a few more notes on her clipboard. I tried to tell what she was thinking by the look on her face, whatever was wrong with me obviously wasn't good. She started talking again, but I was exhausted, it was a battle to keep my eyes open and the woman noticed this. She pressed the button on the side of the bed lowering it back down so my range of view was once again limited to the ceiling. I was asleep before she even left the room.

**Jude-**

I sat in this therapist's office, she stared at me patiently and I just stared back at her. After five or so minutes she smiled and crossed her legs, "So Jude, tell me about your family."

"I have a really big family, don't you already know this? Isn't this in your folder?" I asked leaning closer.

"I only know what your mom, Lena, told me. I just want to get to know you though, and I can't get to know you through your mom." I was surprised, other therapists I have talked to have already known everything about me. "Have you ever talked to a therapist before?"

"Yes, I've talked to five therapists before, you're the sixth." I said with a shrug.

"Wow, so you know how to do this. What do you want to talk about then?" I thought about this.

"We can talk about my family, I love my family." I said honestly. "Well I was adopted two months ago by my moms. My sister and I were adopted at the same time, my moms already had three kids."

"That's a big family."

"I love it." I said with a smile.

"So how long were you in foster care?"

"Six years. My biological parents, well my mom died because my dad drove drunk and they got in an accident. He got out of jail last year." She nodded.

"I was a foster kid, it's hard sometimes." I suddenly felt bad for grouping her with the other therapists I had been to before.

"It was really hard, but Callie was always there for me."

"Who's Callie?"

"Oh, she's my sister. She's my biological sister, we were adopted together. She's sixteen." She smiled again and nodded encouragingly for me to continue. "We lived in a lot of homes that weren't very good and Callie was always there for me."

"I can tell that you love her very much." I nodded. "What about your moms? Do you think you've adjusted to your family?"

"I think so, I guess so, we haven't really had much time together since the, you know?" I asked shifting in my chair awkwardly.

"You go to Anchor Beach."

"Yeah, I was there. I mean we were all there, Brandon, Callie, Jesus, Mariana, and I all go there. Or went there? My mom, Lena, works there."

"When you think about what happened how do you feel?"

"Sad, guilty."

"Guilty?"

"In the school Callie tried to save me and now she's in the hospital." I said softly, my eyes started to burn. I stared up at the ceiling. "I should have done something to help her."

"What would you have done to help her?"

"I-I." I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "I tried to move her even though I knew she had been shot, I think it made it worse. I should have stayed with her in the school, I shouldn't have gone outside. I knew the police were coming and I should have waited with Callie instead of moving her." I dried my face and turned to looked back at her, she just watched me carefully.

"If you had been shot and Callie was okay would you want her to feel guilty?"

"No." I answered automatically.

"What would you say to Callie if you were hurt and she wasn't?"

"I would just be happy what she was okay, and that I love her." I answered honestly.

"Do you think you could try and feel that way about yourself?" I nodded silently. "Do you ever feel scared when you think about what happened?"

"I used to, I used to have nightmares and I was mad at Vico for a while, but it doesn't bother me as much anymore. My brother Jesus and I talk about what happened and when we get upset we work out together."

"That's really good Jude. I think you'd be okay if you didn't want to talk to me, you can always come and see me whenever you want and you can still come talk if you want but I'm going to tell your moms that you don't have to if you don't want to." She said writing a note at the bottom of the clipboard.

"I kind of like talking to you." I admitted with a shrug.

"So do you want to talk again next week?" She asked. I nodded.

"There's one other person I'm worried about." I said softly. She waited patiently for me to continue. "Mariana still has nightmares. Sometimes when I miss Callie I sleep in her room, she shares it will Mariana and she's been having nightmares and anxiety. Even worse than Stef."

"Well I haven't met Mariana yet, but I'm going to try and help all you guys while you're going through a time like this. Okay?" I nodded. "Do you want to play a board game? I have a couple." She said turning to the book shelf. It was stacked with games, books, and toys.

"Do you have any cards?" She reached over and pulled a deck of cards out of a drawer and handed them to me. I shifted to sit on the floor and she joined me. "Do you know how play poker?" I asked shuffling the deck.

"I don't want to beat you this early. How about some Crazy Eights, you ever heard of that?" I handed her the cards and we spent the next fifteen minutes playing. Every once in a while she would ask me a question about Callie and how she was doing, I explained everything I knew about her situation, but every question she asked she always seemed to be more concerned about me than Callie.

"Alright Jude, our time is up." She said scooping the cards into a pile. "Your moms have my number if you ever need to call me and I'll see you next week. Alright?" I nodded and stood up. She led me to the door and walked me back out to the waiting room where moms were sitting there. "Jude are you okay waiting here for a few minutes while I talk to your moms?" I nodded and sat in Stef's vacated seat and stared at the fish tank in the corner. Jesus and Brandon had their appointment with this counselor yesterday, but Mariana didn't have an appointment until tomorrow. I looked at the magazines on the shelf and saw that they all had something to do with having a gay kid or gay parents, I hadn't really thought of moms being gay before. Everything had happened so fast after Callie had gotten out of juvie, I moved in with the Fosters and started at a new school, and then we got adopted.

"Hey buddy, ready to go home?" Stef asked as they walked out of her room. I stood up and followed them back out of the office. I climbed into the back seat of the car and we pulled out of the parking lot and headed home. "So you're going to go back next week, same time. Okay dude? Only because you want to and Momma and I are okay with that. You can stop going any time you want."

"I know." I said nodding. I leaned into the space between the two front seats and looked at both of them. Lena turned and smiled, I smiled back and took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Lena said turning off the radio.

"When did you guys know that you were, you know, gay?" I said quickly.

"Sometime in elementary school." Lena said casually. "I just noticed that other girls in my class liked boys and I liked girls."

"I knew I was gay for a while, but remember how grandpa didn't want to come to the wedding? It was really hard for him to understand what being gay was, so I tried to be someone else to make other people happy and that's why I was married before I met Momma." Stef explained.

"Did you love Mike?" I asked.

"Yes, and I still love Mike, but it's not the same way I love your mom. I love Mike like he is my best friend, my best friend in the whole world and without him we wouldn't have Brandon, but I don't love him the same way I love Lena." This was obviously something Stef explained before, but they actually seemed to enjoy having this conversation with me. "I forgot we didn't really have to two moms talk with you and Callie. You know you can come to us with anything right buddy?"

"Yeah I know. I like Mike, he's really nice." I said sitting back a little.

"I like Mike too." Lena said smiling back at me.

"Hey Jude." Stef started. "I was wondering how you would feel if you went to a different school than Anchor Beach."

"I don't know. I like Anchor Beach and I have friends there, will Brandon, Jesus, Mariana and Callie be there too?"

"Callie may not be ready for school by the time we get you enrolled, but yes we will make sure everyone else is there with you. This is just an idea though, you might still be able to go to Anchor Beach. Especially if you want to."

"I don't mind going back." I said simply. "Mariana won't want to go back though."

"We won't make Mariana go back if she doesn't want to." Lena said turning in her seat a little. "If you do go to a new school they may not be as nice as the kids at Anchor Beach about you having two moms. Will that be something you think you can deal with?"

"Kids used to make fun of me at other schools for being a foster kid, but Callie would always take care of it." I said with a shrug. "I don't mind other kids knowing I have two moms." I said honestly.

"We know buddy." Stef said with a smile. "We just want to make sure you'd be okay with a little more change." Lena reached back and patted my knee before starting off on the tale of how she met Stef and Brandon and after a few dates they both knew it was going to be something serious. It felt good to hear them talk about these happy things, and I think they really needed a reminder of the good things.

"You guys should go on a date tomorrow." I chirped up as the story ended with them moving in together.

"Well Mariana has her appointment and both Momma and I have to be there again, and then we both have to go to work for the rest of the day."

"What about the day after?" I asked.

"I have to work and then I'm going to see Callie. Momma is going to be with you guys for a bit and then she has to work too." Stef replied again. "The day after that we have a meeting with Callie's neurologist and then we'll be back in time for family dinner."

"Well how about instead of family dinner on Friday you go out to dinner with Momma." I said with a shrug. "I don't think Brandon or Jesus will mind, and we can order in so Mariana won't care because then we won't have to eat a casserole. Not that she doesn't like family dinners, I just think she would like to have something else for dinner one day."

"I'd be okay with a date on Friday." Lena said glancing over at mom.

"Alright, a date on Friday." Stef said beaming. "We just might keep you Jude, you're a pretty cool kid."

"I know." We pulled into the drive way and I hopped out of the car and ran into the house. "Hey guys." I shouted through the house. "Jesus."

"What?" His voice called back.

"Moms are going out on Friday and they said we can order in." Jesus whooped all the way down the stairs.

"Please shut up." Mariana screamed from the living room. I jogged into the living room and saw her texting on the couch with the TV on. I sat beside her, and leaned in front of her phone.

"No casserole on Friday." I said with a smile. "Everybody should be happy about no casserole on Friday." Mariana rolled her eyes and tried to turn away, but I leaned in closer, and closer, and closer until I got a shove to the shoulder that confirmed I had fulfilled my brotherly duty.

"You are so annoying." She grumbled standing up and walking into the kitchen. "Hey moms." Jesus reached out and grabbed her phone from her as she walked by and tossed it across the room to me. I quickly shoved it between the couch cushions before Mariana could see me and sat there trying not to smile. "Will you please grow up?" She shouted punching Jesus in the shoulder. Jesus held his arm as if Mariana had actually hurt him and looked towards moms for a reaction.

"Mariana you know how I feel about hitting." Stef said without really looking, Mariana turned to me and I bit down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing.

"Give me my phone you little snot." She said holding out her hand.

"He doesn't have it I threw it over there in the corner." Jesus said gesturing to the corner of the living room. Mariana ignored him and jumped on me trying to reach into my pocket, she was the same height as me but I weighed more and squirmed around to make this as difficult as possible.

"You are so obnoxious." She shouted, I saw her eyes dart to the side of the couch and shot my hands between the cushion grabbing the phone before she could and scooching to the other side of the couch holding it as far away from her as I could. Mariana tried to pin me down and reach for her phone at the same time, I looked up at her out stretched hand to see how close she was and saw the sleeve of her shirt ride up.

Angry red marks crossed her arm, it suddenly wasn't funny anymore and I saw the color drain from Mariana's face. She snatched her phone from my hand and dashed upstairs. "She's so dramatic." Jesus joked tossing a throw pillow at me and sitting beside me on the couch, he turned on the TV and glanced over at me. "She get a cheap shot on you or something?"

"What?" I asked looking over at him. "Oh no, I just." I wasn't sure what to say, should I tell him? Should I tell moms? Mariana was going to counseling tomorrow after all, the only thing telling people would do is ruin a decent day. And these days a decent day was rare.

**Stef-**

I drove to work Thursday morning with Mariana's counseling session in mind. She wasn't coping well with the incident, that was obvious, but how could Lena and I help her now? I took a deep breath and held it while I was waiting at a traffic light, Acute Stress Disorder. She didn't want to diagnose her with it yet, but it was the diagnosis that was fitting at the moment. I could only be there to listen and be supportive and aware of the things Mariana was going through right now, there were probably a hundred other kids from Anchor Beach experiencing the same negative reaction as Mariana but it was so odd looking at her and then the other three kids. Brandon, Jesus, and Jude were struggling with the shooting, but Mariana was still terrified and it was killing me that I couldn't help her.

Jesus and Mariana were the only kids that had to go to counseling every week and Jude was going because he wanted to. Brandon had chosen not to continue going and I was dreading my private appointment next week. If the kids all liked this woman I had nothing against her and if I was going to trust her with Mariana's anxiety she could definitely handle mine. I turned into the police station and parked next to Mike's car, another day of paperwork. I knew I wasn't ready to return to the field, but desk duty was killing me.

I walked into the station and sat at my desk, I rolled my neck and grabbed the first folder in my tray. "Hey Stef." Mike said placing a coffee cup on the corner of my desk.

"Hey, I'm cutting back on the coffee these days. I hear it's bad for you." I said looking up over the top of the folder.

"Alright, more for me." He said reaching over and placing the cup on his desk. "How's Callie?"

"Better, not talking yet, but she's better. Thanks for asking. Brandon's counselor said he's okay."

"Of course he is. He's a tough kid." Mike said beaming.

"Being tough has nothing to do with what happened at that school." I said coldly.

"Sorry." Mike said quickly. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Mariana is struggling. She's getting help I just wish I could do more. Jesus is still grieving over Emma and Jude is always worried about Callie."

"Well getting Mariana help is doing a lot more than what some would do, Jesus needs time, and I can tell you we're all worried about Callie. I get asked about her from the guys all the time. Everyone here is worried about her, they just don't want to harass you." Mike placed his hand on my back and turned to sit in his own desk.

I cranked through five case files, hardly making a dent in the pile on my desk before heading out for the day. I took off my uniform top in the parking lot of the station and jumped back in my car. It was time to see Callie, butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I turned on the radio. I got on the highway and the route to the children's hospital had become second nature. I turned into the parking garage and untucked my undershirt so I was somewhat comfortable in my work pants and boots. I watched the elevator doors close after I stepped inside before I felt a pang of anger in my chest, no. There was no way I was going to let that man ruin this day too, today was a day I got to spend with Callie.

I signed in like I always did and followed the familiar painted footsteps along the ground. I suddenly realized that I was comfortable in this situation, I was used to being in this hospital and visiting my child, the hurt burnt through my chest and I froze outside of Callie's room. I took a deep breath and stepped inside, my heart melted just as it always did, I loved this girl so much.

"Hey Callie." I said brightly when I saw that she was awake, her eyes followed me as I entered the room, I walked over to the side of her bed and kissed the top of her head. "You're looking beautiful like always." I sat in the chair beside her, I held her left hand in mine and squeezed it her fingers slowly tightened around mine and I watched as her eyes would drift away from me slowly and then jerk back to me. I smiled and watched as tears begin to form in her eyes, she blinked and a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. "It's okay baby, I'm here. I know you're scared but it's okay." I started telling her about my day, the boring day of paper pushing. I told her how well Jude was doing, she would want to know that. I also told her about Brandon doing really well and Jesus doing better, then I told her about how hard Mariana was taking it. "I don't want her to think about this for the rest of her life, and I don't want you to either, but I wonder if you even remember that day?" I asked. Callie just looked at me.

"H, mmm." I stared at Callie, her mouth was open. I must be hearing things, she stared at me, I longed for a facial expression to fill her face so I could understand something.

"Did you just say something?" I asked leaning in closer.

"Hi mom." Callie mumbled, her face remained still and she struggled to focus on me, but she had talked. My hands began to shake and I was crying.

"Hi Callie." I answered dumbstruck. I wasn't sure what to do, she didn't look like she was going to say anything else, I looked around for someone to share this moment with, but it was just us. I couldn't do this alone. I fumbled with my phone in my pocket and squeezed Callie's hand. "Lena, Lena are you there?" I asked when there was a break in the ringing.

"Yes Stef, what's going on?"

"Callie talked, I don't know if I can get her to do it again, but she talked. She can talk Lena." I rambled.

"That's great, it's great. What did she say?" Lena was practically bubbling over.

"Hi mom, she called me mom." My face hurt with how hard I was smiling.

"Oh, put the phone up to her ear. I want to talk to her." I held the phone up to Callie's ear. Callie closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them it was as if she was looking through me.

"Hi." She whispered again. I kissed the top of her head and pulled the phone back up to my ear.

"Did you hear that? Did you hear her?"

"Yes, I wish I could be there. I need to get back to this meeting, ugh you've got me crying. I'll see you at home okay? We have a meeting with Callie's neurologist tomorrow, so don't stay too late."

"I love you Lena." I said quickly.

"I love you too, tell Callie I love her before you leave."

"Of course, see you at home." I hung up the phone and held Callie's face in my hands. "Baby girl you have no idea how proud I am." Callie seemed gone, she couldn't really see me that was obvious, but none of that was really important to me. Callie had talked, she had called me mom, she was here with us. I wrote down the time and date, I placed the note on her wall, Callie's first words. I sat beside her for an hour, she didn't say anything else, I knew then that we had to cherish every accomplishment Callie would make.

"Hi Stef how are you today?" A nurse asked walking into the room.

"Great." I said stepping out of the way so she could check Callie's vitals and replace her IV fluids. "Callie talked, you just missed it."

"That's great Callie." She congratulated her. "I can't wait to tell everyone, they're going to be so proud of you." She commented. I watched as IVs were changed and her temperature was taken. "You are doing so well, I'll see you in a few hours okay?" She waved at me as she walked out of the room and I took my seat beside Callie again. I knew she was going to fall asleep within the next fifteen minutes, so I figured I would wait so she wouldn't have to be alone. I picked up a book from the stack Lena had brought from home and opened it up to the place Lena had obviously left off, it was Jude's copy of 'A Wrinkle in Time' from school. I started reading to Callie and she seemed to relax and look up at the ceiling and just listen. I watched over the top of the book as she fell back asleep, I just sat there and watched her for a few minutes. I should head home soon, but leaving her was the very last thing I wanted to do right now.

After watching Callie sleep for ten minutes I had talked myself into visiting Kelsey, she had surgery earlier this week and was probably finally feeling up to having visitors. As I stood up to leave Callie's back arched up off the bed and the machine beside her bed chirped a warning before she began shaking uncontrollably. It was almost second nature by now, I jammed my finger into the nurse button even though they were already on their way. I removed the pillow from under Callie's head and tried to stay calm as I watched her muscles spasm. It hurt to watch her struggle, her jaw was clenched tight and her left hand balled up the sheets on her bed. "It's okay Cal, I'm right here." She probably couldn't hear me, but if she could she had to be terrified.

Someone burst through the door with two interns following close behind. "Please step out of the way Mrs. Foster." She said quickly running up to Callie's bedside. She pulled a prefilled syringe out of the locked drawer in Callie's room and injected it into her IV. Callie's convulsions slowed before stopping completely. "C'mon Callie, breathe." She whispered to herself and I moved around to the other side of Callie's bed so I could be closer.

Her lips were a familiar shocking shade of blue. Callie's chest rattled with shallow breaths for a few seconds before she relaxed entirely and inhaled a lungful of oxygen. "You're alright." I told her reaching out for her hand. "I'm still here, it's okay."

"Grand mal seizure at three fifteen p.m." The nurse said looking at one of the interns as they wrote it down on her chart. "Are you alright Mrs. Foster? We can get you some water."

"No I'm fine." I said softly, a great day dampened by another single event. "Is someone going to stay and observe her? I have to get back home, I know that sounds terrible, but I have to get home."

"No one can stay here all the time." The nurse consoled me. "It's okay, she'll probably sleep until tomorrow. I'm going to observe her for the next hour just to make sure she's okay."

"Alright." I nodded and grabbed my things from her bedside table. I leaned over Callie and kissed her forehead. "Momma and I will be back tomorrow, sorry I have to go baby." I squeezed her hand and thanked the nurse before walking out of the hospital and back to my car. I tried to focus on her voice, I had heard Callie's voice, she had talked to me and called me 'mom'. She knew who I was and remembered me. The further away from the hospital I got the better I felt about her seizure. Lena and I had talked about this, Callie was going to have seizures for the rest of her life and we all had to figure out how to regroup after them.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket when I was about half way home and called Lena. "Hey I just put some chicken on the grill, please tell me you're on your way home."

"Yes I'm on my way home." I assured her. "Chicken on the grill? Our date is tomorrow, what's the occasion?"

"Well I figured Callie deserved some celebration, and I can't blame Mariana for being tired of casserole. To be honest I hate them too." Lena chuckled. I didn't answer, I was trying not to imagine Callie struggling in her bed. "Unless you love casserole, I think we have a few left I can put one in the oven for you." Lena said slowly.

"No chicken is great, sorry. I just. Callie had a seizure right before I left and it feels like she takes two steps forward and three steps back." I expressed.

"Oh, poor baby." Lena whispered. "She was okay?"

"Of course, I wouldn't have come home if she wasn't. It's just hard to see her like that." "I know Stef." Lena agreed. "Come home and we can talk about it okay? Drive safe." I said goodbye and hung up. I drove the last fifteen minutes home in silence and tried to think of those two words. 'Hi, mom.' Callie was in there, she was in there and I needed to help her get out.

**You guys are the absolute best! PLEASE review, it really helps me focus on what you guys want to read and what you want to know.**

**Thanks for reading**

**-Kodi**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you guys for being so patient. A lot has happened in a year, but I'm still very invested in this story. Writers block is a terrible curse, but I think I defeated it.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Kodi**

**Stef - **

The alarm beside my bed went off and as soon as I turned it off a pang of anxiety attacked my stomach. I rolled over and wrapped my arms around Lena, she grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. I laid there for about fifteen minutes trying to ignore the knots in my stomach, my heart pounded in my ears. Lena's alarm went off and she reached forward and turned it off, she started to get up, but I held onto her.

"C'mon Stef, we have to go to the hospital." She said peeling my hands away from her waist. I buried my face in my pillow and held my breath, it was hard to believe that anxiety had never killed anyone. Lena got up and closed the door to the bathroom, I was stuck in my bed. I had a feeling that just told me that if I moved the world would end. "Stef get up, we can't be late." Lena said opening the bathroom door.

"I can't." I grumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lena asked turning on the lights and opening her closet.

"Something terrible will happen." I tried to explain. The bed moved beside me and Lena draped herself across my chest.

"You okay?" She asked, I could smell her shower gel and her hair tickled my nose.

"I'll be okay, I just can't get up." I grumbled.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, I just feel like the world will end if I get up." Lena found my hand and held it tightly.

"Well I got up and the world didn't end." I nodded. "How about we get up together?"

"Okay." She sat up and pulled on my hand, I took a deep breath and sat up.

"How do you feel?" She asked.

"Fine, what time is it? Are we late for our meeting?" I asked trying to look around her at the clock.

"Don't worry about that, just put your feet on the floor." I clenched my jaw and put my feet on the floor. I stood up and tried to shake off the residual anxiety. "Do you still need some help or are you okay?" She asked rubbing my back.

"I'll be fine, I just need to get in the shower. Will you tell me if we're late now?"

"We'll be fine, we're right on time, we just don't have time for breakfast. Get in the shower and get ready and I'll get you some coffee for the car." I nodded and Lena walked me to the bathroom. "You okay?" I turned and smiled at her.

"I'm great. I'll be out in a minute." I closed the door to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stripped off my pajamas and got into the shower taking deep breaths, this was going to pass just like everything else. I cleaned up and got out, I brushed my teeth and tied up my wet hair. It was going to be a bad hair day, but then again I haven't really had a good one since the shooting. Don't think about the shooting, that's a great way to start another anxiety attack.

"Stef, how're you doing?" Lena asked from outside the door. I stepped out and smiled again.

"I'm fine. Let me get dressed and then we can leave." I walked over to my closet and pulled on a t-shirt and jeans. I grabbed some socks and pulled them on as I walked towards my shoes near the door.

"Okay. I can drive. Here's a bagel and coffee." I grabbed them and kissed her as she reached across for the car keys.

"I forgot to kiss the kids." I slid the coffee into the cup holder, my heart began to beat a little faster. Did I kiss Callie goodbye the morning of the shooting? What if something happened now and I didn't kiss the others?

"I kissed them for you." Lena said pulling out of the driveway. "We've got to go,"-

"No Lena, wait this is important."

"They're fine. We have to go." She squeezed my hand and continued to navigate the way out of the neighborhood. "Where are you taking me on our date tonight?"

"I thought Jude was planning the whole thing," I said around a mouthful of bagel with peanut butter. "I was thinking we could go somewhere new. I drove past a really nice Italian place earlier, how's that sound?"

"Sounds great to me." Lena turned onto the highway and we started the commute to the children's hospital. "What do you think the neurologist is going to say? I mean Callie was talking the other day so things are looking up right?"

"Maybe he knows some way to stop the seizures. On our way home we should check out the rehab facility her neurologist picked off our list." I said into the silence.

"Okay." Lena agreed. The bagel suddenly tasted like cardboard and the thought of taking another bite made my stomach hurt. I focused on breathing, inhale for four seconds, hold my breath for seven seconds, exhale for eight seconds. Over and over until we pulled into the parking garage attached to the hospital. We got out and into the elevator, then we just watched as the floors we passed lit up above the doors. I reached out with a shaky hand and intertwined my fingers in Lena's as the elevator slowed down. We flew past Callie's floor and stopped in the neurology department, Lena stepped out of the elevator confidently and gave my hand a little pull.

"Suite 32." I said clearing my throat and stepping off the elevator. "We're already five minutes late."

"It's okay, doctors run behind. His office is right up here, let's go." She walked into the office as if it hardly bothered her, as if she was already a professional special needs mom. Was this going to come naturally to me too? Or was I always going to be this anxious oaf? We checked in with the secretary and sat beside the other parents, Lena and I just stared at the small table in the corner of the room and watched a girl about eight years old struggle to stack blocks with her older brother.

The little girl's hands trembled violently, but her brother helped her so the blocks wouldn't fall. Each movement she made seemed calculated and difficult. Was this going to be Callie, was Callie going to need help with something as simple as stacking blocks? Did that little girl have an accident too? Did her mother wake up every morning worried that she had stopped breathing in her sleep? I tried not to stare at the little girl, but my gaze wasn't broken until someone sat beside me.

"Hi." I jumped a little, but forced a smile her direction. "Those are my kids over there, pretty great huh?"

"S-sorry, I didn't mean to stare," I wanted to provide an explanation for why we had been doing something so incredibly rude, but the words froze in my throat.

"Everyone stares, don't worry about it," but now I was worrying about it, everyone was going to stare at Callie too. "Is your child here?" She looked around the room for a moment before I remembered that I had to answer her question.

"Oh, no. Callie is downstairs, she's older though. In high school. I'm sorry, we're new to this. My wife and I, this, this is my wife. Lena." Lena reached out and squeezed my hand and I remembered to breathe. "Sorry." I whispered.

"Hey don't worry. We've all been there." She said with an encouraging smile. "I'm Meredith." She offered out her hand and I shook it trying to look happy.

"Stef."

"My daughter, Max, is nine." Max glanced our way at the sound of her name and waved at her mother. "And her brother Thomas is thirteen."

"Callie is sixteen." Lena said with a smile. "Your children are beautiful."

"Thank you." There was a silence as we watched Max struggle to stand up, I noticed electric blue braces around her ankles, but her legs still seemed to wobble under her weight. "We adopted Max when she was three, well the adoption was finalized when she was three. We had already been matched with her through an agency and we were going to pick her up in a week and four days, but then we got a call. In the foster home where Max was waiting for us she had gotten an ear infection and wouldn't stop crying. I don't know how it happened but the foster father picked her up and shook her, hard."

"That's terrible." Lena choked.

"It's been difficult." She admitted. "But the first year was the hardest."

"A year." I squeaked out. We had hardly survived a month.

"Callie was adopted as well." Lena shared. "We have five children. Brandon is sixteen, Callie, then we have twins Jesus and Mariana are fifteen, and then our baby Jude is thirteen." Lena let out a weak smile. "Callie's accident was only a few weeks ago. She's still here, hasn't been home yet."

"I'm sorry to hear that." She said with sincerity. "If you ever need someone to talk to you can call me." She pulled out a piece of paper from a purple backpack on the floor and scribbled down a phone number. Lena tucked it into her purse and thanked her. "You guys can even come over for dinner, just give me a heads up so I buy enough food."

"Max Johnson." A nurse called from a doorway.

"That's us." Meredith said with a smile, she shook our hands again and handed Max her backpack. "Please call if you need anything." I gave her another weak smile and tried not to watch Max walk down the hall holding tightly to her brother's hand for support.

"Stef Adams-Foster." A nurse called five minutes after the Johnson's had disappeared down the hall. Lena stood up before I did and gave my hand a little tug, I stood up and followed her down the hall, around a few corners, and then we were sitting in an office painted in a calming sky blue.

"Great to see you guys, we've had a busy two weeks huh?" Callie's file was flipped open, and he leafed through the pages of test results. "She is doing great."

Great didn't feel like a word I could use around Callie. She's said about ten words since she woke up and only a fraction of those were intelligible. "If you look at these results here and compare them to the ones we took right after she woke up you can see a sharp improvement. She's able to follow movement with her eyes, answer basic questions, follow direct directions, these are all great signs that she will regain higher brain functioning." He said with a smile.

"That's"- Lena took a steadying breath. "That's great, really it is." She didn't seem happy.

"Have you two had a chance to look at Mercy General?" He flipped open a part of her chart that marked the notes from her occupational and physical therapists.

"We've looked at the brochure and their website, we still have more time right?" I asked quickly.

"Well, looking at these improvements I see no reason to keep Callie here after this weekend. I think she's ready to start intensive rehab."

"It seems early to me," Lena blurted out. "Not saying that Callie can't do it, but she – she can't." Lena looked at me desperately as if I was supposed to say something too, but I had no idea what to do. "I feel like a terrible mother, but I meant, I just thought that she was going to be able to sit up by herself or maybe feed herself before we sent her somewhere else."

"That doesn't make you a bad parent Lena, don't worry. I know it seems as though she isn't much better, she's nowhere near what she used to be and I understand how discouraging that can be." Lena had tears glistening in her eyes and I reached out to take her hand again. "Being at the rehab center doesn't mean I won't be around, there are doctors there that understand these types of injuries and they'll send me updates every two weeks."

"So she's going to be out of the hospital in two days?" I asked trying to wrap my head around the news.

"I got a call from Mercy General this morning that they have a room opening up for Callie on Sunday and I arranged transportation for Monday morning." He said with a smile. "When you talk to the people that will be working with her they'll explain everything to you. Callie is going to get the help she needs so she can come home faster and be more independent."

"How are things looking long term?"

"Right now Callie isn't responding to the anti-seizure medication how I had hoped, the paralysis and language delays are something that will be the focus of her recovery in Mercy General. As things continue to get better we'll be able to manage any pain she may have, attention deficits, vertigo, those are all things we can make better. We might not be able to get rid of them but we can make them better." He smiled again. "Two weeks ago I wouldn't have been so confident about what Callie's future would look like, but now I think she has a lot of potential. The issues will still be there, but I think she will continue to get better."

"That's great. That's really great." Warmth spread through my stomach, I didn't know how to describe it. I felt myself smile and my face felt wet, it didn't feel right, but it felt good. Happy, I felt happy.

Lena started sobbing beside me, but I wasn't worried, I knew she felt it too. A box of Kleenex slid towards us and Lena pulled her hand away from mine to dry her face. Lena was crying and I started laughing, I didn't know how to handle this sudden amount of happy news, for a little over a month this is what we had been waiting to hear and now it felt way too good to be real. Lena dried her face and threw her arms around me, I held her as tightly as I possibly could and she started laughing too.

"So that's it. Foster clan, Callie will be discharged from the hospital to a rehabilitation facility." Lena thanked him over and over, I was handed a business card with a personal phone number written on the back. "Just in case there are any problems or questions, please call me." I leaned over the desk and hugged him.

"I – I don't know what we would have done without you."

"You guys are going to be okay. You are great parents."

"Thank you, Callie might not be here without you," Lena squeezed my shoulder and I suddenly realized how unprofessional I was being hugging a doctor in his office.

"Sorry," he just shook his head and smiled.

"Don't worry about it. I love giving parents good news." I shook his hand and was dragged out of his office before I could hug him again.

"Let's go tell Callie the great news," Lena exclaimed pulling me down the hall. She stopped at the receptionist's desk just long enough to schedule another meeting with the neurologist. Then we were staring at our disfigured reflections in the elevator door.

"Just think, when she moves to Mercy General Callie will only be half an hour away from home." Lena said looking through the brochure for the hundredth time. "I'll be able to visit more often, maybe even see her for lunch."

"Callie would love that." We rode the five floors down and Lena was nearly skipping out of the elevator. We signed in and picked up our name badges before greeting everyone on our way to Callie's room.

"Hello Fosters!" A nurse called from down the hall. "Callie isn't up yet, I've got two other kids to wake up and get ready before I get to Callie. You can go in there, but she isn't much or a morning person."

"Don't we know that." Lena chuckled and peeked into the small window leading into Callie's room. "We can see if Kelsey is awake, it would be good to see her too."

Lena looked into the dark window a last time before turning and continuing down the hall. We were greeted by nurses and volunteers, they all knew us by name and were sure to tell us how great Callie was doing. It felt as though I was floating an inch above the highly polished floor. The bright colors on the walls were almost blindingly cheerful, but for the first time they actually felt right.

We stopped in Kelsey's doorway just as a nurse placed a tray of food beside her bed and began to ease a stack of blankets under her leg. Kelsey flinched and the color drained from her face instantly, Lena grabbed my wrist and started to pull me out of the door way. "Mrs. Foster?" Kelsey's voice cracked, but she still sounded happy to see us.

"Hey Kelsey, we just wanted to come check on you. If you're busy we can come back in a few minutes." Lena said popping her head into the doorway.

"No, I'm okay." Kelsey propped up the back of her bed and shifted her weight a little before pulling her breakfast tray closer. The nurse handed her a cup full of medicine and she tipped the pills back into her mouth, chasing them quickly with a mouthful of water. We stepped inside her room and smiled at the nurse as she excused herself.

"How're you feeling?" Lena asked pulling up a chair and sitting close to Kelsey as she examined the breakfast placed in front of her.

"Sore. The pain meds help some, but it still hurts." Kelsey admitted eyeing her scrambled eggs suspiciously. "But I get to leave tomorrow. I'm going to a rehab center for a few weeks. Then back home!"

"We just talked to Callie's doctor and she is leaving on Monday." Lena practically burst with the news. "She's going to a rehab center too."

"Really? Which one?"

"Mercy General."

"That's where I'm going!" Kelsey smiled. "Will you still be able to visit me?"

"Of course!" I answered smiling. "So, how are you going to do physical therapy with your leg casted up like this?" I gestured to the lime green cast that encased her entire leg.

"They're teaching me how to use crutches again, then slowly making the cast shorter so I have more mobility. Really boring stuff." She ate a few bites of food allowing Lena to take control of the conversation. Telling her all about how renovations to Anchor Beach were going, when the school may open again, how many students had already transferred to other schools.

"A lot of things look like they're going to change. When do you think you'll be able to go back to school?"

"Probably as soon as I get home, I haven't really talked to my parents about it. They haven't been around much. I saw them after my surgery, but then they had to go back to work." She said with a shrug. "I visited Callie the other day, I know you asked me to wait until you were here, but I figured she could have been lonely."—

"Don't worry, Kelsey. It's okay, you can see Callie as much as you want."

"I – I just. I don't think she remembers who I am. It's okay that she doesn't, I was pretty mean to her. I'm just worried. I thought she would know me."

"Did she say anything?" Lena asked softly, Kelsey shook her head. "She might not remember you now, but you guys have plenty of time to make new memories." Kelsey looked a little happier at that. "She's going to be okay, she might need the help of a friend, but she'll be alright."

"Hey Kelsey, finish eating and I'll help you get dressed okay? I'll be back in twenty minutes." A nurse said from the doorway.

"Alright Kelsey, it was wonderful seeing you again. We're going to go visit Callie. If we don't see you before Mercy, here's a hug for your trip." Lena was smiling from ear to ear, she leaned in and squeezed Kelsey tightly. I followed behind her and waved as we walked back into the hallway.

"You can't adopt a kid with two loving parents." I said softly as Lena turned to me with a questioning look in her eyes.

"Calling them 'loving' is stretch."

"Even if it is, they do just enough to keep that kid alive. She can come over to our house as much as she wants and we can try and be there for her, but we need to focus on our own kids." We turned the corner and were in front of Callie's door again, this time the lights were on inside and the door was cracked open.

"You're right, but she would get better faster if her parents came to visit her." Lena pushed the door open and stepped into Callie's room. I followed her and looked around the room we had basically been living in for a month.

Pictures, get well cards, and posters covered the wall across from the door. A dresser in the corner was overflowing with stuffed animals and a collection of dead flowers that Lena and I kept forgetting to throw away.

"Hey, Callie." Lena moved towards her bed, but Callie didn't seem to notice her. She was too busy picking at the tape on her face with her left hand. "Hey, hey, don't touch that." Lena grabbed her hand, and made sure the feeding tube was still securely attached to her face.

"No." Callie groaned turning her head away from Lena.

"Ah, it's one of those kind of days." Lena glared at me and I had to cover my smile with my hand.

"Hi, Mom." Callie suddenly seemed to notice the two of us in the room, her frustration melted away and a shaky smile appeared.

"Hey, we have some great news." Lena seemed to forget what had just happened as fast as Callie did. "Mommy and I talked to the doctor, you get to leave the hospital in a few days." Callie stared at Lena, her eyebrows came together a little, but she continued to look at Lena.

"I don't think she understood you." I said softly, Callie's attention turned to me and the smile returned to her face.

"Hi, Mom." She repeated. I smiled back and covered her hand with mine.

"Hey, baby." Lena glared at me and shook her head a little.

"Please try not to talk about her like she isn't here." She leaned in a little bit closer to Callie to get her attention again and smiled. "We saw your doctor today." The crease between Callie's eyebrows appeared again. She seemed to be staring at Lena's mouth as if she was trying to read her lips. "He said you're doing so much better, and that you get to leave soon." Lena paused as Callie opened her mouth as if she was going to say something. The words seemed to freeze and she was frustrated for a moment before looking back at Lena. "You can't come home yet, but we'll be able to visit you more often. You're going to get better Cal, a few weeks at this new place and we're going to take you back home."

"Mom." Callie mumbled, her eyes searched Lena's face.

"I love you." Lena smiled and leaned in, kissing Callie's forehead. I pretended not to see the tears of frustration on Lena's face as she turned away from Callie and started cleaning up the dead flowers on the dresser.

"Hey kiddo," I leaned in closer to her bed and caught her hand before she could pick at the tape on her face again. I held her hands together and tried to ignore the lack of movement in her right hand. "Jude misses you." She hadn't understood what I said, the confusion had reappeared. "Let's take care of these nails, huh?" I reached into the drawer in her bedside table and pulled out some clippers. I trimmed each nail as carefully as I could before kissing her forehead.

"Hey, Fosters!" A nurse said entering the room. She pulled out a few syringes and injected them into the IV hanging from Callie's bed. "You've been doing really well." The nurse said as she wrote down all of Callie's vitals on the clipboard at the foot of her bed. "Ready for breakfast?" She asked as she measured out the liquid calories, protein, and vitamins Callie was supposed to ingest through a feeding tube. This always made me a little sick to my stomach, even when Callie was unconscious this wasn't something that sat well with me. Lena moved in and allowed me to take her place, cleaning up the room. I started pulling cards and pictures off the wall.

"Lena do you want to take all of these to the rehab center? She has even more at home. Maybe she can pick which ones she wants?" Organizing these was going to be awful, would Callie even want to keep them? I started making two piles, one was from people she knew, the other from people she didn't.

"Let's just take them all home." What were we going to do with all of these? We already had three boxes full of cards and letters. "She'll probably get more anyway, we'll hang those ones up in her new room."

"I'm going to get some coffee, do you want something from the cafeteria?" I asked making eye contact with Lena and only Lena. Now that Callie was conscious I felt bad about not being able to watch this, but it didn't make it any easier.

"Only if you see something good. We'll be okay in here, right?" Lena squeezed Callie's hand and then gave me a reassuring smile.

"Okay, I'll be back." It took about half an hour for this to be over. Walking down the hallway guilt overwhelmed me. This was our life now, there was no guarantee that Callie would be able to eat solid foods and it was unrealistic to expect Lena to be able to help Callie eat four to five times a day, every day, just because it made me feel sick. It was something I would have to get over, but today wasn't the day. Today was a day to be happy.

I followed the giant, blue, monster foot prints that lead to the cafeteria. There were plenty of places to get coffee around here, but the cafeteria had the best selection. Dodging a group of kids playing tag, I entered the cafeteria and was again shocked by the difference in atmosphere here.

There were families here, true there were families on the trauma floor, but it was always quiet. Upstairs it was like a library. You can't laugh, cry, or talk too loudly because you never know what is happening in the room beside yours. The best day of your kid's week could be the worst day of the week for whoever lived across the hall.

Here in the cafeteria people were smiling, families sat together at tables over bowls of cereal as if they were in their own home. Kids ran around and said hello to friends. Patients that were healthy enough to leave their rooms and be around other people sat in the cafeteria and those families seemed to treat this as their dining room.

I got a coffee for Lena and myself and went back upstairs. Callie needed me right now.

**Jude-**

I knocked on Brandon's bedroom door and the rhythmic pounding of the keys stopped. "What?"

"Can I have a ride?" There was a heavy sigh and his door swung open. "Conner asked if I could come over, but his dad is at work so he can't come get me."

"Sorry dude, I'm really busy."

"Busy how? We haven't had any homework for a month and a half. Conner lives twenty minutes away." I pleaded.

"Yeah, twenty minutes I don't feel like driving. C'mon I'm almost finished with this song, leave me alone." He closed the door and I muttered a few names under my breath. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and told Conner I couldn't make it.

"Hey Jude, wanna go play some Call of Duty?" Jesus asked sprinting out of our bedroom and down the stairs.

"Sure!" We took our respective places on the couch and joined a game with some of Jesus' friends. As soon as the game started my fingers froze.

BANG

Jesus' weapon went off and 'headshot' echoed around the room. He dropped his controller and the color drained from his face. "I don't want to play anymore." I choked. Neither of us moved though, we watched the other players run around the screen. The guns kept going. Mariana ran into the room and ripped the game out of the PlayStation.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She shouted into the silent room. The disc snapped in half in her hands and she threw the pieces of the game down and ran back up the stairs. No one said anything. We stared at the TV as the house filled with tension.

"I didn't" – Jesus tried, his voice faded away.

"I'm going to check on Mariana." I ran up the stairs after her. The marks I had seen on her arm, I hadn't told anyone about them. It was going to be my fault if something happened to her. I sprinted up the stairs and opened her bedroom door without knocking. "Mariana?" I looked around. Both her and Callie's beds were untouched, Mariana had been sleeping in our room for weeks. The toilet flushed in the bathroom and I walked in without knocking again.

"What the hell?" She shrieked.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." I didn't feel bad at all and I didn't back down.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"You just seemed upset." I glanced down at the bathroom counter and at Mariana's arms. She was wearing a sweater again.

"Yeah, I hate those video games. You and Jesus should throw them away."

"You're right, we should." I leaned on the counter so that Mariana knew that I had no plans on going anywhere. "Jesus and I are probably going to go to the park, do you want to come too?"

"Not really."

"Did you hurt yourself?" Her face blushed red and she looked around as if she was trying to find a way to escape the bathroom. "I can tell moms if you want me to" –

"No, don't tell moms. They're worried about Callie, and Callie needs them." Tears welled up in her eyes. "It was an accident, it only happened once. I won't do it again. Don't tell moms."

"Okay." I wasn't going to promise anything. "You know moms would want to know."

"I know they do, but it's just not a good time. I'm going to counseling, things are going to get better." She dried tears that fell from her eyes and smiled a little. "You're right, maybe I've been in the house for too long. I'll come to the park with you guys."

"If you want to do it again will you tell me?" Mariana just shrugged. "It's okay, just promise you'll talk to the counselor."

"I promise." She grumbled.

"I love you." I said as I walked out of the bathroom.

"I love you too." She called back as I started down the stairs. I peeked back into the living room to see Jesus destroying his video games.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly.

"Just getting rid of the games I don't want to play anymore." He looked back at the stack of games and pulled out a copy of Grand Theft Auto he had hidden from moms. He broke the disc and dropped it on the pile Mariana had helped him start. "I think that's all of them." I grabbed the trash can and helped him place them inside.

"Mariana is coming with us to the park." Jesus just nodded and looked at the few remaining games on the shelf. "Do you think Mariana is okay?"

"I don't know." He looked at the stairs to make sure she wasn't standing there. "I don't even know if I'm okay."

"I'm worried about her, and Stef. They both have trouble sleeping."

"Yeah. It takes a while Jude, it takes a while for people to get better after something like this."

"Like Callie?"

"Kind of, but it's not necessarily the same. Callie's hurt, we can all see that. But Mariana and Moms, they're hurt too. Stef thought we were all going to die, Mariana thought she was going to die. That kind of stuff takes a while for some people to get over."

"I just wish I could help."

"Me too."

**Stef-**

We got home with smiles on our faces, three large boxes of cards and pictures from Callie's room, and electricity in the air. "I'm going to shower and change. We can leave in like an hour, maybe two." Lena said jumping out of the car just as I pulled it to a stop. She grabbed a box of Callie's things and brought them to the front porch, I grabbed another box and a bag of clothes that Lena and I had kept in her room.

"Aren't those cards for Callie? Did something happen?" Jude asked picking up a picture he had drawn for her.

"No baby, nothing bad. Callie is moving to a rehab center this weekend so we had to take some stuff home. She'll get this all back in her new room." I said kissing his forehead.

"Oh, that's good right?"

"Yes, no more hospital. It means Callie is doing a lot better." Jude smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah just tired." He brushed me off, it was weird to get the cold shoulder from Jude. "Actually" – he looked towards the stairs to see if anyone was behind him. "Could we talk later?"

"Of course. Momma and I are going on our date tonight, but when we get back we can talk. Sound good?" He nodded and hugged me. I glanced around the kitchen and grabbed an empty juice container Jesus had probably left on the counter. I went to the trash can to throw it away and saw an array of colorful video game covers among the glittering plastic of the broken discs.

I picked through them and saw it was all the games that I had fought with Lena to buy for Jesus. All the games I had to convince her he was old enough to play and know the difference between real and pretend. All the games with guns in them. I looked around to see if anyone else noticed, but I was the only one there. I placed the trash from the counter on top of the games and walked upstairs to get ready for our date.

An hour later I was downstairs waiting on Lena. I glanced around the living room, the couches were covered in laundry and the kids had left empty dishes everywhere. I started collecting them to find that the sink was already full with dirty dishes. I opened up the dish washer and started loading some of the dishes inside.

"Hey I'm ready." Lena's voice echoed from the hall. I closed the dishwasher and dried my hands before turning.

"You look, wow." Lena shifted anxiously from foot to foot.

"Do you think I'm over-dressed? I can change. These shoes are too much?"

"You're beautiful." Her face brightened and she relaxed.

"I love that shirt Momma." Mariana said as she passed through the living room. "Have a good night, I'm going to bed." She kissed each of us and went upstairs. It was hard to watch Mariana be this distant, but we were working on it. We were working through this as a family.

"We love you, Mari." I called up the stairs, her hollow reply came back. "Brandon?" His footsteps tumbled down the steps and he peeked around the corner. "Mom and I are going out to dinner, we have our cell phones, but we should be home in a few hours. Okay?"

"Yeah mom, we'll be fine. Have fun." Lena grabbed my hand and began to pull me out of the house.

"C'mon, they're going to be okay. Everyone is going to be okay." She was right, there was nothing that could happen to the kids, but it didn't make it any easier. "We know Callie's okay and they have our number. We know the kids will stay here and they also have our number."

"I know." My feet remained frozen to the floor.

"Here, look at what time it is." She held out her phone for me to see. "Three hours, we'll be home in three hours."

"Okay." Feeling slowly returned to my body and I followed Lena out to the car. By the time we reached the driveway it was almost as if all my anxieties had evaporated from my body, I opened the passenger's door for her to get in and smiled as she walked by. I have a beautiful wife. I got in the car and pulled out of the driveway with a smile frozen to my face. I held her hand the whole way down to the restaurant and it was almost as if things had gone back to normal.

We sat down in a nice restaurant surrounded by other people having a normal dinner. "This is weird." I said softly. "I honestly can't remember the last time we went on a date, I mean I know it was before the accident, but that just feels like another world."

"Yes, it does." Our hands connected across the table and I was amazed that I had such a wonderful wife. "We should make some rules for our date."

"Rules? What do you mean?"

"Tonight is our night, and both of us have just given so much time to everyone." I squeezed her hand a little. "They need it, obviously, but this is our time. So one hour, we can't talk about the kids for one hour."

"Oh, yeah of course." She was right, our lives had been about the kids one hundred percent of the time for the past month. "What if someone calls about Callie?"

"Just put your phone down on the table facedown. We'll hear it if it starts to go off." She placed my phone face down on the edge of the table and conversation began to flow. We hadn't seen much of each other in the past month. And when we did see each other it was to spend time with Callie or the rest of the kids. Lena told me that she had been talking to our parents nearly every day to keep them updated on Callie. She had even managed to contact a few private schools nearby to see if they would accept some of the kids. I let her know that staring at mountains of paper work in the precinct was driving me crazy, but as soon as this new schedule was adjusted I would look into come minor security jobs.

We ate a delicious meal and had a magical evening. This seemed to solidify that everything going on around us wouldn't be able to pull us apart. Neither of us wanted to leave the restaurant, leaving meant returning to everything that was just too real. I reluctantly signed the check on the table and checked my phone.

Our world hadn't ended, the kids were fine. All of them. "I guess it's time to go?" Lena said softly looking around. As hard as it was to get here, it was just as hard to leave. Everything here seemed so simple, we were just like every other couple. At home everything was hectic. The house was a mess, mountains of laundry everywhere. Everyone's clothes were mixed together. There was hardly any fresh food in the house, dirty dishes were everywhere. At home everyone needed something, everyone needed my help and there was nothing I could do.

"I hope we can do this again soon." I sighed, pushing away from the table. I held out Lena's coat for her to put on and held her hand tightly as we weaved our way through the tables and back out to the car.

"I've been trying to find a good time to tell you something."

"Well is it good news or bad news?"

"I don't know." Defeat seemed to consume her.

"Whatever it is it'll be fine. You know that."

"Yeah, of course. It's not anything that will, it's not that big of a deal." I opened the car door for her to get in and got in the driver's side. "Sanchez is stepping down as principal."

"Stepping down or was she forced out?" The keys sat unturned in the ignition.

"Stepping down, she's taken everything really hard. She hasn't been able to step foot in the school." She avoided making eye contact with me. "They asked me to be the principle."

"What? Really?" She nodded. "For now or forever?"

"That's the other thing, we don't know. Anchor Beach might not reopen anytime soon."

"What?"

"It's a charter school, it wasn't doing very well before the accident and now the board is concerned it won't have enough students enrolled to break even."

"So that's the bad news." She nodded. "We still have donations coming in, Callie is covered for a few months at least. I'll get my gun back and start working full time, we can make this work."

"No don't worry about that yet. Right now I still have a job, I'm even getting a raise. They've assured me that I'm going to get plenty of warning before they close the school."

The tension eased just a little. "Do you want to be the principle? It's going to be difficult to be in charge of all that."

"Someone has to." It was true, someone had to be in charge even though it seemed like there was nothing left. "Let's go home."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

**Callie-**

Everything felt stiff and sore. Maybe I had been hit by a car, or ten. I didn't remember doing anything that could have made me feel this way. I opened my eyes and blinked in the harsh florescent light. Someone was standing over me, someone dressed in – what are those called? Everything came into sharper focus and pain cycled through every cell of my body.

"Morning." The woman said above me. A small whimper was the only thing I could manage. I closed my eyes and searched my memory for something that could help me understand what was going on. But there was something wrong. Pain radiated from my head down, existing hurt. "Callie?" I opened my eyes and tried to focus, but her words scrambled.

I took a few breaths and struggled to open my mouth. She kept talking, moving around me and doing things just out of my sight. I had never thought about trying to talk before, but now I had to concentrate to force my mouth to make the letters. Concentrating caused my head to start pounding nauseatingly. "Ow." I breathed out.

"Yeah?" She asked slowing down a little around me. "I can help."

"Mom?" I asked trying to look past her. I was in the hospital; moms would be here. They had to be here.

"I'll get you some medicine." She said slowly. She never left though, someone else entered and added something to the thing in my arm. What the fuck was wrong with me?

The pain lessened to a strong ache, and she turned off the lights directly above my head. "Mom?" I tried again.

"Your moms are at work today," – everything started to change. Her words made less sense and it was exhausting to try and keep up. One half of my body felt exceedingly heavier than the other half, I reached out with my left hand and felt my right. I expected a cast or some sort of bandaging to make it feel so odd, but it was just my hand. A hand that wouldn't move unless I put a substantial amount of effort into it. Even then my fingers hardly closed.

"Wrong." I grumbled. Someone else came into my room. She seemed vaguely familiar, but she lived in a place where everything had a name and words were created without a sharp headache behind my eye.

"Hi Callie." She said brightly, my bed suddenly began to raise up and we were sitting across from one another. "Hi." She said again pointing at herself and then directing her finger towards me. She was expecting me to say 'hi' back.

It was just the word 'hi'. I took another breath and moved my mouth how it was supposed to be and exhaled. A shaky 'hi' came out and the new woman smiled brightly.

"Do you remember me?" She asked carefully.

"No." How could I remember her? Had I been here long? I stared down at her name tag, but the letters danced around confusingly. She waved her hand in front of my face and I looked back up at her.

"We're going to practice some," – something, we're going to practice something. She held up a flash card with a thing on it. "What's this called?" She held up a picture of that thing in the bathroom, the thing you get clean in. "Great try Callie, shower." Of course that was a shower, I know what a shower is. She pointed at herself again, "shower."

"Sher." The word didn't feel right, my mouth almost fought the consonants I was trying to make.

"Sh – ow – er." She broke down each sound and made me try again. After the third try my pronunciation almost sounded like 'shower' but it was difficult. My 'r' didn't feel right, like my tongue was too big for my mouth.

"How?" I asked her. There was so much I wanted to add to that statement. How was I like this? What the hell was wrong with me? How long have I been here? Where are my moms? When can I go home?

"Sorry, Callie, I don't know what that means." Frustration swelled inside me and there was nothing I could do. My body couldn't even express how I was feeling. Tears started to roll down my face and I struggled to wipe them away with my clumsy left hand. Some sort of weird thing was taped to my face and I tried to get it off. "Hey, it's okay." She pulled my hand away from whatever was taped to my face and used a paper towel to dry my face. "We're going to make things better."

"Hard." Everything was hard, thinking took effort, breathing hurt. Something serious was wrong with me and no one could tell me what it was, and even if they did I probably wouldn't understand.

"I know. Here, let's read a book." She put the flash cards away after writing something down. She pulled out a children's book with bright colors that pulled my attention every direction. "I asked your moms, they said you know the Skippy the Turtle stories pretty well."

"Yeah." Skippy the Turtle, my – my. Someone loves him, someone I know very well. His face appeared in my mind, but I couldn't put a name to his face. But just thinking of him made me feel better. She started the story, asking me a question every few sentences. I had to repeat what had happened or to point at a fish, or a shark.

"You did really well today Callie." She said as we reached the end of the book. What kind of world is this? When did this become good? "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Later, okay?" The words just fell out of my mouth, everything else seemed difficult but that happened without effort or consciousness or difficulty. Actually I hadn't even wanted to do it. The lady suddenly looked a little concerned, she wrote down a few more notes before smiling and packing up.

"Bye, Callie." She smiled and waved, but stood in the door waiting for something. Waiting, waiting. She was waiting for me to answer.

"B-b-bye." I forced. She seemed to always have a smile frozen to her face, but it was nice. Now I was alone in a bare walled room, hardly able to talk and entirely unable to move. The only thing I could do was keep my eyes closed and try and find some string of memory to hold on to. Every time I found something it slipped away.

"Callie? You awake?" I blinked and looked around, the voice floated from near my feet. The voice sounded familiar, but right now everything was vaguely familiar without any sense of actual direction. "Hey Callie." The voice was closer, and someone's face swam into view.

"Hey." I answered as the person smiled. Someone remained standing in the door, but they were too far away for me to be able to focus on their face.

"Do you remember me?" The girl beside my bed asked softly. I looked into her eyes, I knew her. From somewhere. But I didn't remember her. "It's okay. It's me, Kelsey. I was friends with your sister, Mariana. It doesn't matter anymore." Kelsey, right. Memories of Kelsey floated by, but as soon as I recognized them they disappeared again. She was here in the hospital too, she had a bracelet that matched mine. Something about school drifted into my mind, but it was gone too.

"Yeah." I heard myself answer. The girl, Kelsey. Kelsey. Kelsey, remember her name. Kelsey seemed surprised that I had said anything.

"That's my dad." She gestured to the person in the door. "I'm going" – the rest of her words became a garbled mess but I had a feeling she had been here before. Her presence was comforting even though she didn't stay long, and then I was alone again.

Time passed in a weird way, it inched by with giant gaps where I either blacked out or fell asleep. People that worked in the hospital came in and out of the room giving me things like medicine and what I assumed to be food through the thing in my nose.

"Callie?" Someone placed their hand on my arm and I pulled my eyes open. It wasn't my moms, I wanted my moms. I needed my moms, tears burned the corners of my eyes and I blinked to try and stop them. "I'm here for therapy okay?"

"Therapy okay?" The words fell out of my mouth again. The woman standing over me looked confused for a moment, but chose to ignore it. "Mom?" I asked her, maybe she would know where my moms were, and why the hell they left me here.

"Your moms were here yesterday, Callie, do you remember?" She made a point to talk very carefully and face me fully. No, I didn't remember seeing my moms. I remember seeing them on Sunday night at dinner. She didn't really wait for me to answer like the other woman, she was busy moving pillows all around my bed.

"Alright, you ready? Just like last time." Someone else I hadn't even noticed standing beside me said holding my hand. The woman that seemed to be in charge was kneeling on the end of my bed, she picked up my left leg and pushed it up towards my chest. Fire erupted in my spine, it was as if I hadn't moved in years. I hated this, I hated them.

"Breathe, Callie." She said gently, she counted down from five and relieved the pressure on my leg. "Okay, you're okay. You're doing great." What the hell was it with everyone telling me I was 'doing great'?

"You can squeeze my hand if you need to." The woman I kept forgetting existed said gently.

"We're going to do the right leg now." She didn't even get the chance to move this leg half as much before a strained cry escaped my mouth. "Five seconds, Cal, just five." She soothed. As soon as she released the right leg she picked the left one back up and stretched it again. A torturous series of stretches ensued, my cries were ignored, and just as soon as I thought they were done they moved to my arms.

"I know, I know." She whispered holding my arm above my head for another treacherous five-count. Had we done this yesterday? I doubt I could actually forget this, ever, but then again I didn't remember a lot right now.

Finally they were done, they had been there for an hour at least. My face felt swollen from crying and a stabbing pain had started in my chest. "Alright, ready to do some work?"

"No." I answered forcefully. I was ready to sleep, my headache was getting worse.

"This won't be too bad, I promise." The hand holder and the other one worked in unison to have me sit up in bed. They turned me to the edge so my feet were hanging off and the hand holder kneeled behind me with my back against her stomach and her arms through my armpits keeping me upright.

"Alright Callie, try and keep your head up for five seconds." Not another fucking five seconds. She lessened the support she was giving my forehead and immediately my head started to fall forward. "Here, you go. Ready?" She readjusted and tried again. Now I tried to keep eye contact with her and stop my head from falling forward. We finished my neck and then moved to my back, every single muscle in my body was useless.

"Done." I told the woman in charge as I reached out to grab a ball out of her hands for the tenth time.

"Yeah Callie, you're done. You did great."

"Did great." Frustration filled me again. I couldn't talk when I wanted to, but I didn't have any fucking problem regurgitating whatever anyone had said to me. "Home?" Neither of them would look at me as they helped me lay back down and tucked me into the bed.

"Your moms love you very much, they'll be here to visit tomorrow." She assured. Then I was alone again. The aching from therapy dulled until it eventually went away and I was just left there, exhausted.

**Stef-**

Monday came faster than anyone expected. Before we knew it Callie had been disconnected to machines plugged into the wall and portable monitors were sitting on the foot of her bed. Lena was trying to find every single doctor that had ever worked with Callie and was asking them every single question you could imagine as I showed Callie the pictures Lena and I had picked to go with her to the rehab facility.

"Do you remember this one?" I asked pulling out the photo from the court house. "It's my favorite." I held it closer for Callie to see. I couldn't tell if she winced or tried to smile. "This is from right after you and Jude got adopted."

"Got adopted." Callie whispered. Her speech therapist had mentioned something about this. Echolalia, she called it. Callie had just started repeating things people said to her, we hadn't figured out why yet. But I was just supposed to ignore it.

"Here we have Brandon, and Jesus." I pointed to everyone in turn but hovered my finger over Lena. There was a moment of silence in the room, did Callie recognize us? Could she tell the difference between the faces in the photograph?

"Momma." Callie muttered after a few minutes. A smile stretched over my face.

"Great job!" She stopped paying attention to me. Her eyes drifted off to the corner. I could see Lena talking to Callie's occupational therapist through the window, and I wondered what I was supposed to say. Should I tell Callie that everything was about to change again? Would she understand what I was saying?

"Mom?" Callie's whisper filled the room. "Ow." She gestured towards her forehead with her left hand.

"Do you have a headache?" Callie seemed to be searching for words, for the right answer. So much seemed to be going on inside her head but we hadn't been able to get many two word sentences from her. Lena walked into the room and stepped up close to the bed.

"The paramedics are outside, they're ready to go." She placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed tightly.

"Hey, Cal." Callie's eyes drifted over and she locked on to me. "Things are going to change. You can't come home yet, but you're going to a new hospital." Her eyebrows came together for a moment as she scanned my face. "Did you understand me?" She didn't answer, but she reached out with her left and I held on to it.

"We're going to be with you okay?" Lena added. Callie seemed to suddenly realize she was standing there and her face brightened a little.

"Excuse me, we just need to finish some transportation paperwork for Callie Adams – Foster?" A man in a blue uniform said knocking on the door frame. Callie's identification bracelet was scanned for the tenth time today and Lena was asked to verify her birthday, again. "Okay it's all good, ready to go?" Callie didn't answer but they tucked a few extra blankets around her and buckled her to the bed. "Don't worry, it's just a super safe seat belt." The paramedic explained. He continued to talk to Callie even though she didn't answer, Lena scrambled around the deserted hospital room checking every nook and cranny for something we could have forgotten.

"That's it, that's everything." Lena said holding out a practically empty tube of tooth paste. "We're out of here." We followed behind Callie as they rolled her out of the room and towards the elevators. For the first time it wasn't for another CT scan or series of sleep tests. We were actually leaving.

Nurses called 'goodbye' as Callie was rolled by. We were really free of this place. "The elevator isn't big enough for all of us, moms we'll wait for you downstairs, okay?" The paramedic said as the elevator opened and Callie was guided inside. Lena and I watched as they went down without us and we waited for the next elevator.

"This doesn't seem real. At all." I breathed.

"It's crazy." The elevator doors opened and we got on to find Callie at the first floor waiting for us.

"Hi, mom." She said brightly, but wincing in the bright light overhead.

"Hey, Callie." Lena answered as we continued our walk to the large double doors at the end of the hall. "Ready to leave the hospital?"

We all stepped outside into the beautiful weather. An ambulance sat there waiting, another paramedic opened up the back door and waved to their colleagues. Callie squeezed her eyes shut in the bright light and whimpered a little. "Don't worry Callie, it isn't as bright in the car. Just keep your eyes closed for a few seconds." Lena assured her. We all walked towards the ambulance, we had been told that there would be more than enough room for Lena and I to ride along with her.

They eased Callie inside and Lena climbed in after her. I was left standing there with a small box of things for Callie, staring at the chrome step to get into the rig. "Stef you okay?" Lena asked gently. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the sound of Callie breathing. But it didn't sound right. She was drowning in her own blood, her blood was everywhere. She was dying in that ambulance.

"Hey." Lena said placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry." I glanced up and Callie was fine. She was sitting there waiting. "I can't."

"Okay."

"It's too much. I just can't."

"That's fine. You don't have to. Just follow in the car. We'll meet you there." Her smile was soft and understanding.

"Okay, yeah. Okay. I'll follow in the car."

"Do you want to see that she's okay? Will that help?"

"I can't get in, I just need to stay out here." I answered quickly. "Call me if something happens." I leaned in and kissed her before taking a step away from the ambulance. "Bye, Callie. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Bye." Callie's whisper hardly traveled outside of the ambulance. The door closed without me and I turned to walk back to the parking garage.

**Thank you guys for being so patient. Please review**

**Kodi**


	9. Chapter 9

**Callie – **

Lena sat beside me in the cold moving car. A car like this has a name, it's called something else, but I don't remember. A guy I had never seen before sat on the other side of me watching the monitors beside me carefully.

"Home?" I asked turning to look at Momma.

"No, we're going to a place to help you get better." She sounded sad, but she smiled and squeezed my hand. I had very vague memories of being in a hospital, waking up and having everything hurt, but this is the type of car that takes you to the hospital. Maybe I was going to another one.

"Callie, are you in any pain?" The guy in the uniform asked. There was pain, sure, but it could be worse. It had been worse. He seemed to be waiting for an answer, but I couldn't get the right words to explain what was going on.

"I think she's okay." Lena answered for me.

"Okay, just let me know if she looks uncomfortable." Everyone talked around me, they directed all their questions to Lena. It was true I couldn't find the words to answer their questions, but I haven't been ignored like this in years.

"Momma?" I tried once the people stopped talking.

"Yes, baby?" The words got caught in my throat, there were a lot of questions I wanted to ask, but they jumbled together. Lena smiled and squeezed my hand, waiting patiently for me to say anything.

"How?" I tried to explain, but that was all I could manage. Anger swelled in my chest I wanted, more than anything, to be able to say more than one word at a time. I reached up and pressed my hand against my left eye.

"Is she okay?" The man asked Lena.

"Fine." I grumbled.

"She's just frustrated." Lena ran her hand through my hair. "It's okay, Callie." But it wasn't okay. None of this was okay. Everything was wrong and it was just getting worse. Tears began to fall from my eyes and it started to get harder to breathe. "Relax, Callie, breathe." She grabbed my hand and squeezed it so hard it almost hurt, my attention was turned onto her. "You're angry, I know."

"Yes." My teeth were clenched so hard it hurt.

"We'll be out of the ambulance soon, I know this is a lot for you." Ambulance, this is an ambulance. "You're doing a great job. Mom is going to be there waiting for us."

"Home?" Stef was going to be waiting for us at home? I was getting a ride home in an ambulance?

"N – no. It's not time for you to come home yet." Lena looked nervous that this would make me upset again. "I know this is confusing, and complicated. You'll come home soon, I promise." I wanted to ask more questions, but every question had more than one word. I spent the rest of the ride holding onto Lena's hand and squeezing it every time the frustration started to become overwhelming.

**Stef - **

I pulled up to the rehab center breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. I had to stay calm, everything was okay. It was better than okay actually, it was great. This was a great day for Callie. This was a huge step closer to her coming home. The ambulance pulled up and I closed my eyes. Just focus on breathing, Callie isn't hurt. Callie isn't dying. Callie is okay. I counted out three minutes so I was sure that she would be out of the ambulance before I started to walk over.

"Hey, Callie!" I called out cheerfully as I got closer. She looked at me briefly and frustration filled her face. She tried to shake her left hand free from Lena's grasp, but Lena held tight. "Did something happen?"

"She's just upset, I wish I could help but she can't tell me what's wrong." An extremely cheerful looking woman met us at the door.

"Hi, Callie! We've been expecting you!" She seemed unfazed by the paramedics standing around and Lena fighting to keep Callie from rubbing her eye. "I'm Dr. Jones, you'll be seeing a lot of me. This must be your mom?" She smiled towards Lena.

"Yes, yes. I'm Lena Adams – Foster, we spoke on the phone. This is my wife Stef." I gripped her hand firmly and reached down quickly to stop Callie from trying to pull the tape off her face. "Sorry, this trip hasn't gone as smoothly as planned."

"Don't apologize. This is something we're very used to. Change is very difficult for a lot of our friends to get used to, but we're here to help." She motioned for the paramedics to follow her as she led us down the hall. "We have a room just for you, here at Mercy General we work very closely with the nursing program at the University of San Diego. The students complete their clinical hours here so the basic help Callie receives will be from these nursing students closely shadowed by an RN. I understand you guys want to visit Callie as much as possible, but she's going to be receiving really intensive therapy here, so I think three days a week would be best and it would be great if it could be consistent so we get Callie adjusted to a routine."

"Yeah that would be great, we have to get back to work and her siblings are going back to school. Not that we don't want to visit her more." I rushed.

"I understand completely. We're going to turn in here." I was shocked by the difference between the hospital and this new room. It was quite literally a bedroom. There was a twin sized bed along the wall. A bookcase with toys, magazines, and books. A dresser with picture frames waiting for pictures and a small table in the corner.

"Wow, Callie! This place is great!" Lena exclaimed looking around and peeking into the bathroom. "We'll be able to bring you some more books. A few pictures of everyone." They moved Callie from the gurney to the bed and handed the doctor a clip board to sign.

"This is Callie's first day and we expect her first few days to be a little difficult. She'll obviously need a lot of breaks but this is her schedule." Dr. Jones gestured towards the wall next to the door where a large white board with the days of the week marked off with every hour of the day accounted for.

"Oh, wow." Lena breathed. Her day started at 7am and she was allotted an hour to get ready for the day, she had breakfast at eight. At nine thirty she had a visit with what I assumed to be an intern and speech therapy at ten. After an hour of speech she had an hour of time with an intern. She had lunch at twelve and then had physical and occupational therapy from two till four. She had a free hour from five till six and then she was supposed to start her bedtime routine at eight and be in bed at nine. "So when can we visit?"

"I was hoping you guys could visit Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Monday and Wednesday would be a short visit around five the afternoon and maybe even tucking her in for the night, but Friday you guys could be here all day. See the progress she has made and get some quality time with your daughter. Other than that, if you want to bring in all her siblings just let us know a head of time and we can give Callie the weekend off. Once she's a bit better she may even be able to go home for the weekends."

"Do you want Mondays or Wednesdays?" Lena asked.

"I can take Mondays. We'll be able to check in with someone every day though? Maybe even talk to Callie on the phone? I don't want to deter from her progress I want her to come home as soon as possible, but"-

"Callie is in a bit of a unique situation. She was in foster care for the past ten years and we finalized her adoption a few months ago. We've been worried about her feeling abandoned and we aren't sure how much she remembers or even understands about what has happened."

"You guys are allowed to call as much as you want, you can technically even visit as much as you want. These visitation hours are just my professional recommendation to avoid distractions during therapy."

"Of course." Callie was starting to fall back asleep. "Sorry, she had a bit of a rough ride over here. Transitions haven't been easy."

"It's completely normal. Honestly she'll probably only be able to finish fifteen minutes of speech therapy for the first few days, but that fifteen will grow to twenty, then thirty and before you know it she'll be able to sit through the whole hour. Same goes with physical and occupational therapy, there's an adjustment period and her body is still healing."

"Right, right." Lena looked like she was struggling to be okay with the transition too.

"I'm going to check all of Callie's vitals and then I'll give you guys a tour of the place. Okay?" I nodded and stepped away from Callie's bed.

"This place seems great." I whispered, taking Lena's hand.

"It's nice." She mumbled watching Dr. Jones check Callie's temperature and blood oxygen level. "What time is it?"

"Noon."

"She needs to be given her medication soon. Do you think they know that? She can't be late with her seizure medication."

"Lena, I'm positive they know. Her neurologist wouldn't let her come to a place that wouldn't know how to take care of her." There was a knock on the door and a nurse stepped through with a cart and a nursing student in tow.

"Hi, Dr. Jones. Is this Callie Adams – Foster's room?"

"Yep. These are her parents, Mrs. and Mrs. Adams – Foster." The nurse smiled and outstretched her hand.

"Please call me Stef." I insisted with a small laugh.

"Lena." She answered shortly. "Do you mind if I stay and watch?" She gestured towards the tray with all the equipment for Callie's tube feeding and the medications she was supposed to receive afterwards.

"Lena, they know what they're doing." I whispered.

"Of course you can, it's very important to us that you feel Callie is getting the best quality of care." Dr. Jones answered. The nursing student looked nervous but the RN gave Lena a reassuring nod and moved towards Callie's bed.

Lena stood as close to Callie as she could without getting in the way and watched as everything was carefully measured out and administered. Callie slept through the whole thing and Lena seemed satisfied with how the nurse did everything because she slowly backed away.

"I – I think she's okay." Lena finally whispered.

"She'll probably sleep for at least an hour." I nodded towards Dr. Jones.

"Are you guys ready to meet the rest of her team?" Lena leaned down and kissed Callie's forehead before we walked out into the hallway. "So Callie is in the pediatric hallway. Though we aren't specifically a pediatric center we've found that it helps the kids be kids and it stops the adults from being too annoyed at kids running down the halls." She led us around and we got to meet Callie's speech therapist. We stopped by the room for physical and occupational therapy, it was huge and basically replicated dozens of everyday scenarios. There was a car sitting in the middle of the room, a fake grocery store and restaurant, a bed, stairs that led to nowhere, and all sorts of exercise equipment.

"This is interesting." I chuckled as we walked through the room and passed another that was geared towards younger kids and was filled with sports equipment and games.

"It's to replicate everyday life skills, it's easier to see your progress and understand the mundane exercises we ask our friends to do when you can see that you are now able to get yourself in and out of a car without help." We toured the entire center and met all of Callie's therapists before returning to Callie's room.

"Does Callie have anything on her schedule today?"

"No, today is just a move in day. We'll start everything tomorrow. You guys are welcome to stay as long as you want. It was really nice meeting you, I need to check in with some other parents. If you have any questions call my office, if it's something urgent call the nurses station and they know how to get ahold of me. Okay?" We parted ways with Dr. Jones and Lena started unpacking some of the things we had brought for Callie.

"Are you okay?"

"Me? I'm fine." I placed a stuffed animal from home on the foot of Callie's bed and smoothed out her covers.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What? I'm confused, what are you asking me about?" I turned to face Lena, but she was picking though a box we had dropped off the day before.

"The ambulance." I swallowed hard and glanced at Callie, but she was still sound asleep.

"I, I really don't think I can." Lena turned around and tried to make eye contact.

"I'm just trying to understand. I want to be able to help you, Mariana, and Callie." I struggled to remain calm, I wasn't sure how to explain this.

"I – it just reminded me of her being in the ambulance. I thought I had coped with it and was okay, but I'm just not ready for that."

"Is there something I can do?" I shook my head and grabbed a few books out of the box. "I love you." She whispered behind me.

"I love you, too." Lena started to say something else, but Callie woke up.

"Hey, baby." I finished unpacking the box as Lena started talking to Callie. "How are you feeling?"

There was silence. I peeked over Lena's shoulder to see the confused expression on Callie's face. It was an expression I had started to attribute to her struggling to find words. "Hosp?" She finally breathed.

"Hospital?" Lena asked, that was by far the largest word Callie had ever even tried to say. Callie nodded once and looked around. "Not really. You're in a rehabilitation center." Callie's left hand hovered over the bed and shakily reached out for Lena.

"Stay." Lena held her hand tightly.

"You were in the hospital for a while, do you remember?" Lena asked slowly. We had figured out that Callie had better comprehension if you have her the time to interpret what you had told her.

"Yes?" Callie seemed to search Lena's face for more answers. "Long?"

"Long?" Lena repeated, but it was obvious Callie wasn't able to add any clues to explain what she meant. "You shouldn't be here too long, a few weeks. But Mom and I are going to visit every other day." Frustration filled Callie's face, and Lena tensed up.

"It's going to be okay, Cal." I stepped in, placing my hand on the top of her head and distracting her from the conversation she was having with Lena. It was great that Callie was remembering more and was becoming more self-aware. It was progress and all progress was good, but this progress came with challenges.

"No." It was hard to help Callie when she was like this. We knew she was upset and we knew most of it stemmed around the fact she couldn't communicate with us. But there was little we could do to help her. We could tell that she knew something was wrong, but we worried that if we explained everything to her it would just be overwhelming.

"I love you." I smiled. Callie's eyebrows came together, she fought with herself over words before closing her eyes. She took a minute. When she opened her eyes they were wet, as if she were about to cry, but she was calmer. Lena tried to let go of her hand, but Callie squeezed tighter.

"I'm just going to grab a book to read." Lena said softly.

"Stay." She pleaded. I grabbed a book off of the bookshelf and handed it to Lena. I started unpacking a small suitcase of clothes we had brought for Callie as Lena read the book aloud. By the time I finished unpacking her entire room Callie was asleep again and Lena carefully slid her hand out of Callie's.

"We told the kids we would be home for dinner." I whispered as we watched her sleep.

"I feel awful leaving her here. It's like the first day all over again."

"We know she's safe this time."

"But she actually knows we're gone. She's going to wake up, confused, and we won't be here." Lena was right. That was exactly what was going to happen, but there was nothing we could do about it. We said our goodbyes and slowly walked out to the car.

For a day that marked an amazing amount of progress it felt like one of the worst days of our lives.

**Callie-**

I woke up in a dimly lit room. It wasn't my bedroom, I wasn't at home. My body ached, and I had a vague memory of being in a hospital, but this wasn't a hospital either. Something was in my nose, the back of my throat itched. My head hurt. My body didn't work. I wanted to close my eyes and try again, this had to be a nightmare.

"Good morning, Callie." A cheerful voice said off to the left. I tried to see who it was, but I couldn't turn my head, only my eyes moved and that just made my headache worse. "Are you ready to take a shower?" How the hell was I going to take a shower? The woman stepped closer and she was wearing scrubs with butterflies and a bright smile. "Are you ready?"

"Ready?" I heard myself repeat, she grabbed wheelchair from the corner of the room and placed it beside my bed. She reached down and slid her hands underneath me and moved me from the bed to the chair in a swift and rehearsed manner. She kept her hand on my forehead until she secured a pillow around my neck so my head wouldn't fall forward. It was a short ride to the bathroom where another nurse was waiting and they worked together to undress me and place me in a shower chair. For the brief moment my chin rested on my chest I could see that something awful had happened.

I could see the difference in my body, my legs looked as though they hadn't been used in years. Something awful had happened to me. Was I paralyzed? I wiggled my toes and managed to move both of my hands. I don't think so. I could feel everything, but nothing worked like is used to. The shower was embarrassing, but both nurses seemed almost bored. They washed my hair and were careful about getting soap in my eyes. It wasn't great, but it could have been a lot worse.

Once I was dressed in a clean set of clothes that seemed way too big for me my hair was combed out and placed in a pony-tail. My body ached but this felt like a great sense of normalcy, almost like I hadn't been hit by a train. Or gotten in a car accident. Maybe I had fallen out of bed and broken my neck? It had to have been some sort of freak accident.

"Callie, can you open your mouth so we can brush your teeth?" The nurse asked waving a tooth brush in front of my face. It took effort, it took a lot of work, but I managed to open my mouth and she got to work scrubbing away. "Can you spit?" She asked as she finished and held a bowl up to my face. I tried as hard as I could but I just drooled. This was fucked up. This had to be a dream. "It's okay." A tube was quickly placed in my mouth like at the dentist's office and all the toothpaste was flushed out. This was anything but okay. There wasn't a single thing I could do for myself. Maybe I had been on a plane and it crashed? If that had happened where was the rest of my family? Was everyone dead? I can't brush my own teeth and everyone is dead. That's ridiculous Callie, everyone's fine. Maybe. Something big happened to me and the chances of it only happening to me and no one else in the family were slim.

"Mom?" I managed to ask the nurse.

"Your mom will be here tomorrow, okay?" She wiped the corners of my mouth and smiled. "Ready for breakfast?" I could barely open my mouth there was no way I could eat anything.

They wheeled me back to the bedroom and pushed me towards the table. They washed their hands again and started fiddling around with the tube inside my nose. It was really uncomfortable but didn't last long. She placed new tape on my face and attached the end of the tube to a small machine and after a few buttons beeping it began to pump what I assumed to be "food" into the tube.

"Hi, is this Callie's room?" Another voice floated into the room. People started talking behind me and their words suddenly transformed into a strange language. I knew they were saying words, but I didn't understand them.

"Hi." A voice said just too far to my right for me to be able to see who was talking to me. I couldn't turn my head and looking that far with my eyes gave me a headache. "My name's Alex. I'm going to be your friend while you're here."

"See?" I managed to choke out trying to turn my head.

"I don't, ummm. I'm new here." She looked off to the corner of the room and someone started talking. I really couldn't understand a single thing they are saying. Alex moved over so she was sitting right across from me at the table. "My name's Alex."

Yeah, you already said that. She looked nervous, like I was going to do something to her. I couldn't do anything at all. I tried to focus on her face, maybe I could understand her better. I used to be really good at reading people, it was a skill that I had always been proud of, but I couldn't do it.

"I'm a nursing student. I'm a freshman, if you can't tell." She laughed a little bit, but it got awkward when I couldn't seem to laugh too. I felt what I hoped looked like a smile flicker across my face, but even that was hard. "I'm sorry about what happened." She offered.

"Happened." I parroted out. Please, please, please explain what the hell happened to me. But she just started talking about all the fun things we could do over the next few weeks. She seemed to get more comfortable and after a while I was too. She was nice, even though she seemed nervous I would break. I enjoyed hearing her voice even though I understood every other sentence, it was easy to just be there with her.

"Hey, Callie. Do you remember me? We met a few times at the hospital." A woman stepped behind Alex and waved to get my attention. I didn't remember her at all and managed to shake my head once. Her large smile stayed plastered on her face, "That's okay. We're going to work every day so you can get better. Okay?" I didn't answer, but she seemed okay with that.

"Bye, Callie. I'll see you in a few hours, okay?" Alex stood up from the table and headed for the door.

"Bye." I forced out, she seemed surprised that I talked at all, but a smile broke out on her face as she walked out of my room and closed the door.

"Alright, we're going to work on a few pictures." She pulled out a stack of flash cards and placed them on the table. "Tell me the names of the people in the pictures, okay?"

"Yes." She held up a picture of Stef and I answered it after managing to make my mouth form the right sounds. She held up a picture of Lena and it was a little bit harder, it didn't make sense why it was harder, but it took twice as long for me to remember her name. Then she held up a picture of my sister. I shared a bedroom with her, I knew her. I swear I did. "M"- was all I could remember.

"Nice try, Callie." She said putting down the card. I wanted to tell her to pick it back up, I wanted to stare at that picture until I remembered my sister's name. "Last one, okay?" She held up a picture of my biological brother. He was my brother, my youngest brother. I had spent my entire life protecting him but I couldn't remember anything else. Panic swelled inside my chest and it hurt to breathe. I know his name, there's no way I forgot his name. I didn't forget I just couldn't see it, I could feel it, but I couldn't say it. Tears fell from my eyes and I wiped them away with my hand as quickly as I could.

"It's okay, Callie. It just takes time."

"Brother." I answered.

"Yes, it's a picture of your brother. Jude."

"Jude." I tried to hold on to that name, but it was already slipping away. This was the worst dream ever. When was I going to wake up? She placed three different cards on the table in front of me and placed her hand over my left hand.

"Point to the blanket." I glanced down at the cards, the blanket was all the way to the right, I automatically started to move my left hand to point, but she held it down. "Other hand." I looked down at my right hand, I was able to lift it a few inches. It wasn't anywhere near enough to actually point to the card. She reached out and collected all the cards again. "Nice try Callie, you're doing very well." I felt like I was doing terribly and I still had no clue what the hell was wrong with me. She started talking and I just stared at her, I couldn't think of a single way to explain what I was hearing her say. "Are you okay?" She asked after what must have been a long silence even for me.

"Don't." I tried. My tongue felt too big for my mouth so I focused on shaping each syllable. "Understand." It sounded ridiculous, but the therapist was nodding as if she understood me and that was what mattered.

"Can you hear me?" She asked trying to look into my eyes.

"Yes." I took a deep breath and clenched my teeth a little. "Sounds." It suddenly felt as though a knife was sticking out of my eye. "Weird words." I forced out. I shook my left hand free of hears and pressed against my eye clumsily.

"Okay, the words sound weird. We can figure it out, don't worry Callie." I nodded once, but closed my eyes for a moment to stop the light from hurting them. "Just relax for a moment. We're done for today." I felt nauseous, but the sharp pain behind my eye dulled a little after a few minutes.

"Tired." I said honestly, she smiled encouragingly and pushed me away from the table and helped me back into bed.

**Stef – **

Callie adjusted to the schedule at the rehab center with a surprising amount of ease, but the nurses at the center were also really familiar with the challenges Callie was having. Her language had improved drastically, it took her some time, but she could have conversations. The biggest problem she seemed to have was comprehension, the doctor was slow to diagnose it as anything since there was still a lot of healing going on but they suspected an auditory processing disorder. The improvement of her motor skills has been slower, but there was still steady improvement. She had decent range of motion on her left side though there was significant weakness, it was her right side that had everyone concerned. Right now they were just working on Callie being able to sit up and stay upright unassisted, they weren't sure if Callie would be walking anytime soon.

"Hi, Mom." Callie said from her bed in the corner as I walked in.

"Hey, Callie." I answered smiling. "You've been doing great this week, everyone told me so." She supported herself on her left side and tried to sit up, but she could barely hold her weight on her left elbow. I helped her get into her wheelchair and sat across from her. "How've you been feeling?"

"Been feeling?" She repeated. The repeating was something her therapists seemed convinced that she would stop doing over time. "Some headaches." She answered after thinking to herself a little.

"Better or worse?" I asked.

"Same." She said with a lopsided shrug.

"What do you want to do today? We can go outside, it's pretty nice." I stopped myself from talking more, Callie's eyes glazed over a little. I waited for her to process what I had just said, I tried to look patient. "Or we could just stay in here and hang out." I added a few moments later.

"Stay." Callie said with a nod. "Table?"

"Sure thing kiddo." I said smiling and pushing her over to the table in the corner of the room. I opened a cabinet and looked over a stack of games, puzzles, and a bucket of kinetic sand. "What do you want to do?"

"Sand." Callie said decisively. I opened the container and dumped a gallon of sand onto the table. Callie reached out with her left hand and crushed the can shape left by the container used to hold the sand.

"We could make a castle." I suggested squishing the sand and inspecting the handprint I left behind.

"Castle." Callie repeated softly. I took that as a yes and started filling sand in a small castle shaped container. Callie reached out and helped me, each movement she made seemed to be calculated and take up all the effort in the moment.

"Do you want to tip it?" I asked, she reached out with her left hand to tip the container but it was too heavy for one hand. She tried to use her right hand, but it trembled violently, she looked over to me with a slightly pained expression. I placed my hand over hers and we tipped it together. "There we go, nice job." I said with a smile acting as though I hadn't just seen her struggle.

"What happened?" She asked. I waited to see if she had anything else to add, but that appeared to be it.

"What happened with what?"

"Me." Callie's eyes seemed to scan me for answers, she waited to see what I would say. I took a deep breath and tried to think of the best way to say this. Lena and I had talked about it some more and the best thing for Callie to know was the truth, everyone in our hometown knew the truth and she needed to know it too.

"You were at school and there was an accident."

"Monday?" Callie asked as I paused.

"It was on Monday, but it's been months Callie. You were at school and there was a shooting. You got hurt."

"How?" Callie asked, her forehead scrunched up in a way that told me she was over thinking which was just going to give her a headache.

"You were shot." I said softly. Callie just looked confused for a moment, then looked down at herself as if she was looking for where she had been hit. I leaned over and picked up her left hand and placed her fingers over the scar behind her right ear. Tears filled Callie's eyes as her fingers gently brushed past the inch of hair that had grown back since surgery but as soon as she touched the scar she jerked her hand away quickly.

"Get, I? Mom?" She asked desperately, I wanted to understand what she was asking me more than anything in the entire world, but she was upset and her speech impediment was only getting worse. "Me get better?"

"You're doing so much better Callie. Momma and I are so proud of you." I said with a smile, reaching across the table and squeezing her right hand.

"No." Callie said, obviously frustrated. Tears started to flow freely down her cheeks. "Change, I get better?"

"Oh of course baby. You've gotten better every day, it's going to be fine. It won't be like this forever." Callie looked at me as if she was checking to see if I was lying. "I promise." I said nodding, trying to tell her any way I could. I watched as Callie reached out tentatively with her left hand again and actually touched the scar this time. She closed her eyes and ran her hand along the pattern of the scar.

"Don't remember." Callie said finally.

"It's okay, you probably won't remember it." I said reaching out and wiping tears from her cheeks.

"No one hurt?" She asked looking around as if the rest of the family was suddenly in the room.

"Jude is fine, Momma's fine, the twins and Brandon they're all okay." I assured her.

"At school hurt?"

"A lot of people at the school were hurt, Kelsey, that's why she's here too." Thankfully Callie accepted this answer. I didn't know many of her school friends, but I hope none of them died in that school. I doubt I could handle telling her that her friends were dead right now. "You look like you need a hug." I said gently pulling her hand away from her scar. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her.

She started sobbing and I did the only thing I could think to do. Picking her up and moving back to the bed I sat down, holding her as close as I could. I hadn't had the opportunity to do this since she had gotten hurt and it was amazing to have her so close to me, but her pain was obvious.

"I know you're upset, but it's going to be okay. Momma and I are here for you." I grabbed a tissue from beside her bed and started to wipe her nose for her, but she grabbed it from my hand and did it herself. "Sorry."

"I'm tired." She whispered, trying to pull herself together. I tried not to smile as I recognized this Callie. This part of Callie was unchanged, she was fiercely independent. Though these days it just caused power struggles between her and everyone that tried to help her.

"It's okay to be sad about it, Cal."

"I'm fine." She insisted and started to pull away from me. I helped her get back in bed and resisted the urge to comfort her some more. She was really upset and really needed some time to herself. This was a lot for her to take in.

"Do you need a minute?"

"Yes." I patted her shoulder awkwardly before leaving her room and standing in the hall. I tried not to cry, Callie needed me. She didn't want me to comfort her, but if I acted as though this was something tragic she would feel even worse. I went outside where other patients were enjoying the sunlight outside and walked around for a few minutes trying to distract myself.

"Hi, Mrs. Adams – Foster." Kelsey was sitting at a park bench, but leaned heavily on a walker and slowly made her way towards me.

"Look at you. You're doing great." I gave her a hug and the two of us slowly made our way around a garden.

"Yeah, I can probably go home in two weeks. I still have a lot of therapy, but it'll be nice to go home."

"Of course, there's nothing like being home." We took a little break when we reached the next bench so Kelsey could rest.

"Is Callie asleep?"

"No she's having a hard time right now. I told her about what happened at Anchor Beach, she just needs a little alone time." We walked around the rest of the garden and I slowly made my way back to Callie's room. It was around dinner time for her so at least that would be a little distracting from the awful news I had given her.

I walked back into her room right behind the nurse. Callie's eyes were puffy and red, but she seemed to have gotten over the worst of it. "Hey, Callie. We've got to replace that ng tube." She said as she washed her hands in the sink.

"Really? Do you have to do that now? Can't you hold off till tomorrow? Callie's not feeling very well, she's kind of upset. It's not a good time." I rushed.

"Mom." Callie muttered. I assumed she was just telling me to back off, but I gave the nurse a pleading look and it seemed as though she was actually backing down a bit.

"I'll check with the nu" – she looked past me and rushed to Callie's side. She had started seizing, the nurse quickly unlocked a drawer and gave Callie one of the few medications that seemed to help lessen the severity of her seizures. She reached out for a button behind Callie's bed and pressed it quickly.

"It's okay, Callie." She soothed. The spasms weren't as intense as they were before, but it wasn't over yet. A few more people entered the room and once the seizure was finally over they attached some stickers to keep track of her vitals for the next few hours and wrote down her current vitals.

"She's alright." A nurse assured me on her way out. It was true, Callie was going to be just fine, but I just felt as though it was an awful ending to a terrible day she was already having. The nurse who had been in there originally was there tucking in an unconscious Callie trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

"I guess it doesn't matter if you put a new ng tube in now." I laughed a little. She smiled towards me, but pulled the tray over and started to pull the tape off of Callie's face as gently as she could. It was a lot easier while Callie was unconscious and she didn't have to worry about hurting her. The tube was carefully fed into her nose and down into her stomach. I stuck around even though Callie was unconscious and just waited to see if she would wake up before I was asked to leave. Though it seemed they were stretching the rules for me, visiting hours had ended two hours ago.

"Mom?" Callie's voice croaked out into the dark room. I looked up from my computer and smiled in her direction.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" I stepped closer to her bed and stopped her from trying to sit up.

"It's time for me to go home, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah." She breathed, fighting exhaustion to answer my questions.

"Do you have any questions about what we talked about earlier?" There was silence, Callie's eyebrows came together. She searched my face, but I guess she didn't find what she was looking for.

"Don't remember talking." She finally said. The air was sucked out of the room, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. "Night, mom." Callie mumbled and closed her eyes again. I kissed her forehead and tucked her blankets around her. She didn't remember a single thing I had said about Anchor Beach. It was as if the entire day didn't even happen.

I drove away from the rehab facility and called my mom. I had promised her an update on Callie days ago but it had kept slipping my mind, she was going to be ecstatic with the progress Callie has made, and it would help me focus on the good things.

"Stefanie, it's about time you called. I was about to come over to the house myself to make sure it was still standing." She said brightly after the third ring.

"I know mom, I'm sorry." I said pulling onto the highway. "Callie had to get settled in and Lena and I are looking for a school where the kids can go."

"Don't worry Stef, I know you guys are busy I just get worried sometimes."

"I know you're worried, Lena's parents are worried too and we've been terrible at giving everyone updates."

"Don't worry about it, I know you are doing your best. Now tell me how Callie is doing, everything is okay at the center right?"

"Everything is great. The center has her doing therapy every day and she's talking more. She'd doing really well." I said honestly, it was weird to consider this state that Callie was in as doing 'well'.

"And seizures? Has she stopped having them?"

"No, but she's having less, and we're still looking for a medication to make them stop." I explained.

"Great, that's just great." My mom exclaimed. "Now for the other reason I kept trying to talk to you, I'm coming over on Thursday."

"What? Mom that's tomorrow. You can't just come over like that." I flustered.

"Oh, do you have other plans?"

"No, but this schedule has just started to work out. We just got Callie settled and the kids are getting used to this schedule, Lena is back at work and they just keep giving her more responsibilities. So, Mom, I love you but you can't come over tomorrow." I explained as nice as I could.

"Stefanie, those aren't plans. Do you know what day it is?"

"Shit, is it someone's birthday?" My stomach dropped out.

"No, Stef. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yes, don't worry, I'm sure Lena forgot too. So I'm going to come over and do all the cooking and you two are going to get a little break. Okay?" I felt like I was going to cry. I was going to cry, tears were falling down my face. I blinked quickly so I wouldn't lose sight of the road. I turned into our driveway and shut off the car and just tried to breathe.

"I can't believe I forgot, Christmas is coming up and we haven't bought the kids anything. Callie isn't going to be home for her first Thanksgiving." I rushed.

"And that is exactly why I'm coming over. I talked to Lena's mother and she is coming over as well." I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and struggled not to cry. "I'll be there tomorrow morning, I have a key. Don't worry about anything okay baby?"

"Yeah, okay." I forced out in a fake voice. "Thanks Mom. I love you, I'll see you tomorrow." I hung up before she could say anything in return. I tossed the phone on the seat beside me and watched it fall between the console and the passenger's seat. I rolled my eyes and began sobbing hysterically. I sat there, in the car, and let myself cry. Every time I felt as though the tears may stop they just started again. There was a gentle knock on the window and I dried my face quickly before looking up.

"You okay?" Brandon asked looking concerned. I rolled down the window and forced a tight smile.

"Hey B, I'm fine. I promise." I said with a nod.

"You've been sitting out here for almost half an hour. I was watching from my room." He said softly.

"But I'm okay. I just needed some time." I assured him. "I'll be out in a second I just have to find my phone." Brandon didn't leave. He just stood there watching me try and fit my hand between the console and the passenger's seat. "Seriously Brandon just go inside." I snapped as my phone slipped further away.

He started walking towards the house, and I focused on getting my phone. My eyes filled with tears again, but I looked up quickly as the car door opened. Brandon sat in the passenger's seat, reached down, and grabbed my phone. He held it in his hand and looked at me.

"What happened?"

"Nothing buddy, everything is okay I promise."

"Would you tell me if something was wrong with Callie?" He asked slowly. "I – I know I haven't asked to visit her or anything, but I do care."

"No one thinks you don't care." I said placing my hand on his forearm. "I know we haven't told you everything that has been going on. It's complicated and if I told you I understood what was going on I would be lying. Callie's alright though, I promise."

"Do you think the police are going to want to talk to me?" He wiped his hands on his pants anxiously.

"Why would they want to?" It was strange thinking about the investigative side of this situation. A full investigation could take another year even with Vico dead.

"I was selling IDs too, even though I stopped, I was there."

"Did Vico ever talk to you about hurting anyone?"

"He – he threatened Callie. He never said he was going to hurt her, but when I refused to sell anymore he said he was going to get me back."

"B, this is much bigger than selling fake ID's. Vico didn't do this to get back at you, he had a lot of problems. More than anyone realized and I – I saw the security tape." Brandon looked shocked.

"Why? Why would you want to watch that?"

"I had to know. I had to know what happened to Callie, and I promise she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Okay?"

"Okay." Brandon nodded.

"You ready to go inside?" Brandon handed me my phone and smiled. I dried my face and made sure my hair was tucked behind my ears before following him towards the house. We entered the house and Brandon dashed up the stairs.

"Hey baby, how was your day? How's Callie?" Lena asked meeting me at the door. "You look like you've been crying." She added softly, I nodded and concern filled her eyes.

"I'm okay, I swear." I kissed her and pulled her towards the kitchen. "Do you know what day it is tomorrow?" I whispered, the panic that flashed across her face gave me the answer. "My mom is coming over in the morning and I think your mom and dad are coming too."

"I don't get it," She threw up her hands and looked around at the mess that covered the house. There were clothes everywhere and dishes piled over the kitchen counters. "Did you tell them we needed help?"

"No, it's Thanksgiving." I said softly. "Do you think the kids remembered?"

"Shit." She breathed. "Shit, shit, shit." I watched her eyes dart around the house, we were not the family of a messy house. We had five kids, sure, but we weren't known for having a cluttered house. "Fuck."

"Brandon," He froze on the stairs and turned his head toward us. "Go get you brothers and sister and bring them down here. We need to get some stuff done."

"It's late mom, I can hardly keep my eyes open. Can't we clean tomorrow?"

"Don't talk back, do what I said." I snapped. Brandon let out a loud sigh and Lena placed her hand on my arm.

"You look tired, the kids and I can clean a little. You should to lay down." I ignored her and started piling clothes into a basket.

"My mom is going to think we've lost it. She's going to try and move in if she sees this mess." I tried to explain as I threw Brandon's shoes into a closet.

"Your mom would not think that, she knows that we've been with Callie. Let's clean up the living room and then go to bed. We'll clean up the rest tomorrow." The kids stomped down the stairs, Jude blinked sleep out of his eyes and Mariana was livid.

"Just grab anything down here that belongs to you and take it to your room." I sighed. Each kid grabbed armloads of clothes, books, magazines, and junk and took it upstairs. The room was almost presentable by the time they were done. I went into the closet to grab some cleaning stuff but Lena put her hand on the door.

"Everyone, bed time." She called out. Jude seemed to sleepwalk back up the stairs, Jesus begged to play one more hour of video games, Mariana seemed to disappear, and Brandon kissed each of us before going to his room.

"Please, can I just wipe down the coffee table?" I asked as the anxiety started fluttering in my chest.

"No, you need to sleep." She turned off the lights pulled me up the stairs by my hand. Her grip tightened each time I resisted until we were standing outside of our bedroom. "C'mon, just try not to worry about something our parents obviously want to take care of."

"Fine. Fine." I whispered. I changed into pajamas and laid in bed, Lena tied up her hair and pulled on an old University shirt. She turned off her light and climbed under the covers. "This is Callie's first Thanksgiving." I said into the darkness.

"I know."

"Will she be home for Christmas?"

"Stop," Lena turned in the bed to face me, she propped herself up on her elbow and a beam of light from outside fell across her face. "Take a breath." She waited for me to actually breathe like she had asked.

"This is Callie's first holiday with us. It's supposed to be special." The tears came back and I tried to blink them away so Lena couldn't see them. "And we forgot."

"I know, it's supposed to be huge. We've always been good at making these days special."

"I don't even know why I'm so upset. She can't eat the food anyway." I tried to joke, but my voice cracked.

"We can make this special for Jude, and we can make the day Callie comes home extra special." Lena reached out a wiped an escaped tear off my face. "You need to sleep. You're going to drive yourself crazy." She wrapped her arms around me tightly and I tried to relax.

It was finally time to bring Callie home. I was there with her in the rehab center packing up all her clothes. We looked around, ready to leave this chapter of our lives far far behind us. I grabbed her sweatshirt off the bed and pulled it over her head. My hand felt wet.

"Did you wash your hair in the shower?" I asked Callie, confused.

"Help." She choked out before collapsing into my arms.

Looking down at my hands all I saw was blood, everywhere. Her hair was sticking together and he skin was pale. When did she start bleeding?

"Someone, anyone." I picked her up. My shoulders strained under her dead weight. I carried her out into the hall and looked for anyone that could help us.

I turned corner after corner, holding Callie as tightly as I could. I fell to my knees and tried to figure out where all the blood was coming from. I needed to stop the bleeding, I needed to save her.

I sat up quickly and ran into the bathroom. "Stefanie?" Lena asked softly. A sob escaped my throat as I turned on the light and checked my hands for any signs of blood. My shirt was wet with sweat and my hands were clammy but there was no sign of blood. Not even dry blood. I started washing my hands anyway.

"I – I need to call the rehab center. I think something happened."

"Stef, it was a dream." Lena said gently from the door way. "I know it seemed very, very real. But Callie is okay."

"You don't know that. You don't know." I panted between tears.

"They would call us if anything happened. They've always called us."

"There was so much blood, she was dying." I looked down at my wet hands and tried to forget what I had seen.

"She's okay. There's no way she could have gotten hurt and they wouldn't have called us." Lena grabbed a towel and dried my hands. "No, blood. Everyone's okay." I kept staring, I could still see Callie lying in the ambulance with blood seeping out of her back and clotting in her hair. All the paramedics just watching as my daughter died in front of us. She was hurt and there was nothing I could do. "Hey."

"I just want to call." I said softly. Lena grabbed her phone and called the rehab center. She placed the phone on speaker as the night nurse checked on Callie and came back to report to us. Lena held onto my hands tightly as the nurse assured her that Callie was doing just fine and was looking forward to seeing everyone in two days.

"Do you want to come back to bed?" Lena grabbed her phone and tried to look me in the eye. I shrugged but followed her back into the bedroom anyway. We laid there for hours, but neither of us said a word. We finally succumbed to exhaustion when the sun came up and I woke up around noon to the sound of a vacuum and the smell of Thanksgiving dinner.

Lena was still asleep so I eased out of bed and took a shower, trying to forget the nightmare. It had been so vivid and real. But we were going to go see Callie tomorrow anyway so it was okay. I got dressed and opened the door quietly to let Lena sleep as long as she needed.

Jesus and Jude passed with me with large garbage bags full of stuff, and Brandon walked out of his room with the vacuum. I looked around and saw that they had gotten a lot done already. I walked down to the kitchen and saw Lena's mom sorting through the large stack of mail that had piled up on the table and her dad walking out of the laundry room with a basket of clean clothes. "Good morning, Stefanie." My mother said in the living room handing Mariana a basket of folded laundry to put away.

"Wow, guys you really didn't have to do all this." I said looking over at the now clean dining room. Mike suddenly came in from the garage. "Mike, I thought you had to work today?"

"Yeah, work on your car. You guys have put a ton of miles on that thing in the past month and you really needed an oil change. I got it all washed and cleaned out though so you're good to go." Tears burnt my eyes and I tried to hide them as best as I could. Mike stepped forward and hugged me tightly. "You're doing great, Stef. You and Lena are the best parents I know."

"Hey Mom, these are all the clothes Jesus and I have outgrown." Jude said adding to a stack of trash bags near the front door.

"Boys, let your mom relax. Today I'm in charge. Okay?" My mom ushered the kids outside to place the bags into the garage. I walked around the house to see that every single room had been cleaned and food was almost ready. "Once Lena wakes up we can eat. Okay?"

"You really didn't have to do this." I insisted as the kids started setting the table.

"I did. I feel like there isn't much I can do to help Callie, but I know I can help you." Lena woke up just in time and we all sat around the dining table and enjoyed a meal. We tried to not feel as though Callie was missing, but it was obvious. Jude was struggling to enjoy his day, but no one complained. It was just different, and something was missing.

"Stef and Lena you two go sit on the couch, here's some wine. We're going to clean up and we'll be right over." We sat there in the shockingly clean room and sipped on a wine that Lena's parents had brought over.

"This is so weird." Lena whispered. "We're supposed to be doing something. This is the opposite of relaxing." I laughed, that's exactly what it was. I understood what our parent were doing, it was exactly what we had been doing for Callie for the last month and a half. They were helping the only way they knew how, and it was much needed and appreciated, but damn it was difficult to sit here and do nothing.

"They're almost done. It'll be nice to have a little extra help around for a few days, and they deserve to see Callie this weekend. I've been so bad at calling my mom and telling her what's been going on."

"Me too." Finally all the kids filed into the living room and collapsed onto the couches. They were exhausted, but they looked happy with all the work they had gotten done.

"Can we watch a movie?" Jesus asked looking around the living room. He and Mariana started arguing over what we all should watch and the tension over Callie not being home yet slowly started to disappear. Jude sided with Jesus and so it was up to Brandon to either make the final decision to tie it up or side with Mariana.

I stopped paying attention and held Lena's hand in mine. I squeezed it tightly and pulled her a little bit closer to me. I missed her, I missed us. I missed being parents that worried about average parent things. Lena rested her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her, for a moment the anxiety was gone and we were just a family enjoying a holiday together.

**Hey guys! Thanks for reading! I know this chapter is missing Jude's voice, but a lot was just going on for Steph. Jude will definitely be back for the next chapter and now that Callie is doing better she'll have a lot more input too. Please review!**

**Kodi.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Jude – **

After a long day cleaning and eating every single one of us was exhausted. Momma's parents left after the movie and went to go stay the night at a hotel. Stef's mom was staying the night at our house so Brandon placed an air mattress in our bedroom and slept on the floor. Mariana had stopped pretending to sleep in her own bedroom and so that meant all four of us were sharing a bedroom meant for two. At least it was clean now.

I laid on my bed staring at a picture of Callie and I that Stef had taken a few weeks after we had moved in here. We had never dreamed that they would want to adopt us, they had a lot of kids already and both of us were really old. I looked at that picture until exhaustion beat out my anxieties of seeing Callie.

There was movement in the kitchen, which let me know Grandma was probably downstairs making breakfast. I got up as quietly as I could and tiptoed past Mom's room, we hardly ever saw them even when they were home and even though the whole dynamic of the house had changed it was obvious that they were still doing the best they could.

"Oh, Jude, you scared me." Grandma exclaimed, closing the refrigerator door.

"Sorry! Can I help with breakfast?" I was handed a bowl of eggs to start cracking and whisking as she started making pancakes. "Are you excited for today?"

"Of course, I've seen the videos your moms take of Callie. She's doing so great." I could tell Grandma was nervous, she probably knew a lot of things that moms weren't telling us. Scary things that may or may not even happen, things that I had admittedly googled on my phone and still couldn't get some of those videos out of my head. "I just don't want to get in the way, you know? I think the best way to help Callie right now would be to help your mom's out at home."

"I think Callie will be happy to see you." I handed her the bowl of scrambled eggs and started setting the table.

"Thanks, Jude." By the time we finished breakfast Momma's parents had come over and I could hear more people getting ready upstairs. With this many people in the house it was almost impossible to have a conversation, food was being passed around and getting ready for such a big day.

"Lena, do you know where those bags for Callie are?" Stef asked running around the living room.

"Everything got moved around, I had put them in the closet."

"Bags of what?" Lena's mom asked.

"Clothes, she needed some new clothes. Her's were too big." Lena explained quickly handing Jesus his medication. "Jesus you look like you haven't showered in a few days."

"He's going to use up all the hot water." Mariana complained.

"Then eat fast and shower before him." A laugh went around the table, but it was no secret that Mariana was the only one in the family that could actually challenge Jesus at the table. Though breakfast was delicious and had been laid out nicely there was a frantic feeling to it. We ate and as our family got ready Lena's parents cleaned up the kitchen and tried to keep the house as spotless as they had left it last night.

"I can't find them. Please tell me you guys didn't throw the clothes away?" Lena looked like she was going to cry.

"It's okay. We weren't going to throw any of the kid's clothes away, they were all put in a donation pile in the garage, they aren't gone." Stef's mom stressed. "I'll go look in the garage, you guys sit down and finish eating." Moms sat reluctantly but ate quickly and began to pack up the car.

Everyone filed through the shower and helped to finish clean the kitchen as moms packed up the car. "Okay, everyone. Grandparents are going to get to see Callie first, by the time we get there Callie will still be waking up. We'll wait for her to get ready and then you guys can come in. We'll be gone for a few hours, and then kids you guys can come visit after lunch. Okay?"

"We aren't all going together?" My heart sank, I wanted to see her now.

"No, baby. It would be really overwhelming for Callie. Don't worry though, I promise you'll get to see her today." Stef kissed the top of my head and dashed out the door. I bit down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying.

"Sorry we didn't explain this to you, Jude. Things have just been"-

"It's okay. I'm fine." Lena gave me a hug and followed her parents outside.

"Here it is! I found it." Grandma exclaimed holding a duffel bag and coming down the stairs. "By kiddos, see you later!" The door closed and the four of us were left standing there with bitter disappointment hanging in the air.

"You okay, Jude?" Jesus asked softly, I felt his hand on my shoulder and I pushed him away.

"Fine, I'm going outside."

**Stef – **

My mom came running out with the blue duffle bag I had packed for Callie the night before and we pulled out of the driveway. It was silent in the car, today felt weird. I had never been placed in a situation like this before, we hadn't had much time to explain to our parents what was going on with Callie, and yet we felt they had a right to see her.

"Donald." I suddenly spat out.

"Who?" Echoed throughout the car.

"Callie's father, Jude's father. Fuck."

"He's still in jail right?"

"Their father is in jail?" My mother gasped from the back seat.

"He was still there when he signed the paper work, I don't know if he knows though. You'd think he would have reached out right?"

"I don't know, what if he doesn't have access to news? And even if he does Callie hasn't been in the headlines, it's been about Vico's parents."

"Well he's not her father anymore." My mother grumbled.

"Mom, seriously?" She grumbled some nonsense in the backseat and I struggled to keep my anxiety down. I didn't want anyone but Lena knowing how bad it had truly become. "It's courtesy. He's still their father and he deserves to know, for all we know Callie wants to reconnect with him." I mumbled squeezing Lena's hand.

"I'll call Mike, okay? I'll call him when we get out of the car and have him try and contact Donald." I nodded and tried to focus on the drive, but today was going to be difficult. This was going to be hard for everyone and it was going to be really hard on Callie.

"Okay, uh, can you guys wait in the front lobby? Lena and I are going to check on Callie and then we'll come and get you, okay?" The three of them agreed hurriedly and pressured us to take our time.

"Mike, hey." Lena said brightly. "Sorry to call you at work, everything's fine. Callie's great. We're just hoping you can do us a favor. Can you check and see what the status of Donald Jacob is? That's Callie and Jude's birth father, just let us know where he's being held and maybe if you can, if he knows about Anchor Beach. Don't tell him, but"-

"What?" Lena waved her hand in my face and we paused outside of Callie's room.

"Thank you, Mike. Take your time, it's not urgent." They said their goodbyes and Lena looked me over.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm just worried about you."

"Sorry. You don't have to, I'm okay. I've been working with the therapist."

"I know you have." She squeezed my hand and I tried not to feel guilty. I didn't need people to worry about me too, there was so much going on to be worried about. We walked into Callie's room just as she got out of the shower. "Perfect timing! Here, Callie, we got you some new clothes." Lena opened up the duffel bag and picked out something for her to put on.

"Mom?" Callie called out, from the bathroom.

"Just a minute, Cal." Lena finally picked out a shirt and let herself into the bathroom. When she was dressed the door was cracked open and I watched as the nursing assistants skillfully combed through Callie's hair and brushed her teeth.

"Those clothes look better on her, I can't believe how much weight she's lost." The clothes that we had pulled out of her drawers from home had clung onto her thin frame and seemed to make everything worse. Now with clothes that fit properly she looked like a teenager again.

"Once they clear her for solid foods she'll be able to gain it back pretty fast from what I've read." Lena walked around and tidied up her already clean room.

"Hi, Mom." Callie had a crooked smile on her face, but it was evident that today was a good day.

"Hey, Callie." I sat at the table beside her and watched as they set her up for breakfast.

"Alright, we'll be back in an hour to check on you." A nurse said patting Callie on the shoulder.

"Your grandparents are here to see you." Reaching out I tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. Callie processed what I said and shrugged a little. "It's okay if you don't remember them, don't be embarrassed. They won't be here long, okay?"

"Okay." Callie answered looking a little confused, but she seemed alright. "What day?"

"It's Friday." Lena smiled. This seemed confusing for her, but hopefully the busy day of visitors would work as an adequate distraction. "Okay, I'm going to get everyone." Lena kissed the top of Callie's head and walked out of the room. Callie seemed to struggle with her words, and tried to ask me a question, but she wasn't able to articulate it.

"It'll be fine." I assured her, as Lena returned with our parents.

"Hey, Callie." They all said softly, there was a bit of an awkward tension. It was expected, but it was still weird. Our parents hadn't had much of a chance get to know Callie before the accident.

"Hi." Callie answered tentatively, she didn't recognize them.

"It's alright." My mom answered, as Cal looked back and forth between us in a way that practically asked for help. "I'm Stef's mom, your grandma. I love you, Callie." She said with a careful smile. I could see the wetness in her eyes, but she was trying.

Lena's parents introduced themselves and then we sat around the table in Callie's room. Lena apologized to Callie for not being able to see her on Thanksgiving, but told her that everyone missed her. Callie didn't answer, there was too much going on in the room for her to be able to focus and understand what as being said. She would look at Lena and I and then our parents and seem to struggle to understand why everyone was here.

"So what do you think of this place, Cal?" Lena's mom asked looking around at the sterile room that had been adorned with a few things from home. Callie's attention was captured by the mention of her name, but she had obviously missed the question.

"Callie?" Lena said softly after a polite pause. "How do you feel about the center?" Lena asked again, slowly so Callie could understand the question.

"The center?" Callie questioned.

"Here, this hospital."

"Lots of work." Callie answered with an awkward shrug.

"She's probably talking about all the therapy they have her in." Lena explained. "She's been working really hard to get home." The mood in the room was surprisingly sad.

"Once Callie is done with breakfast we can take a walk outside. There's a garden out back, it'll be nice to get outside." An intern stepped in and dropped off some of Callie's recently laundered and folded clothes. Kissing Callie's forehead I stood up to put away her clothes, my mom followed me and started helping.

As soon as we were far enough away she let a few tears fall. "What? What's wrong?" I asked softly so no one could hear. Lena was over there explaining to her parents what she was working on in therapy.

"It's, it's just shocking. I was expecting something, just not quite this. It's just hard." My mom took a deep breath and gave me a shaky smile. "I'm fine, I just needed a moment." She placed some of Cal's clothes in a drawer and gave me a tight hug.

Trying to not feel hurt I reminded myself over and over that our parents hadn't seen Callie not be able to move, breathe, or talk. They had heard about it, but they hadn't seen it. They weren't discrediting her progress either, they were just surprised. It was apparent on their faces.

After a while the tension in the room subsided and conversation almost flowed freely. Whenever a question was directed towards Callie we had to break the question down so she could really understand what was being asked. When a nurse came in to finish Callie's tube feeding I pulled a sweater out of her dresser and pulled it over her head.

"Can you get your left arm in?" I asked softly. Our parents were watching over my shoulder.

"Hey, let's give Cal some space. She has a hard time focusing if too much is going on." Lena quickly mentioned that they would meet us outside and gave me a quick kiss.

"Alright, left arm." I tapped it and she raised it up as high as it could go. "Awesome." I guided her arm into the sleeve and pulled it through.

"Mom." Callie caught my hand as I helped her.

"Yes, baby?" I tapped her right hand to get her to raise it up.

"Love you." She struggled to maintain eye contact with me. "I, you." Tears sprang up in my eyes and I crouched down so I was level with her.

"Oh, I know. I know. I love you, too. Momma and I love you so much." I kissed the top of her head and held her tightly. "We're going to hang out with Momma and our parents for another hour at most, okay? I know this is a lot, but you're doing great."

"Yeah." She wiped her eyes with her trembling left hand and gave me a weak smile.

"Okay, right hand. Just as much as you can." Her right hand trembled and raised almost a foot. "That's great." I pulled her arm through and had her rest on my shoulder as I pulled the sweater around her body and gave her another hug. "Alright, let's go outside." I stood behind her and pushed the chair through the doors.

We tried to keep the next hour light since there was still a lot for Callie to do. We walked around outside and used the time to catch up with our parents. We hadn't seen them in over a month and it felt like well over a year of things had occurred. After our walk Lena got everybody in the car after saying goodbye to Callie. I got her back into her room and moved her from her wheelchair to her bed.

"Take a nap, we'll be back in a few hours with your brothers and sister." Her eyes were already closing as I pulled up the covers and around her. "I love you, so much." I said softly tucking her hair behind her ear.

**Callie – **

I watched as Stef walked away tried to fight sleep, but it was overwhelming. My brain pounded so hard it was difficult to hear her footsteps echo down the hall. Today was rough, today everything hurt. I closed my eyes and focused on breathing, it was all I could do, and I finally fell asleep.

My ears were ringing, I was back at school and there was blood everywhere. I had this dream almost every time I closed my eyes, but that didn't make it easier. Pain and anxiety swept over me, there was blood everywhere and I was alone. My shaky breaths echoed throughout the halls and I frantically looked around for the exit.

I struggled to get to my feet, but my right leg didn't move the way it was supposed to. I used the lockers for support and began the trek down the halls, searching for a way out. I kept forgetting which way to go. I knew this school like the back of my hand, but suddenly things looked unfamiliar and I was lost. My head pounded, I just needed to find Momma. She could help me, she would know what to do. But there was no one, I walked around for what felt like hours.

"Callie? Callie, let's get up." There was a hand on my back, and my eyes snapped open. I was still here. Still in this place, a hospital, but not. It took a considerable amount of effort to roll onto my back and I instantly regretted it. The room spun a little and nausea consumed me. I shut my eyes quickly and took a deep breath. "You okay?" Someone squeezed my hand, their voice was vaguely familiar, I knew I had heard it before but that's it.

"Ouch." I muttered. This was happening more frequently, I would sleep, but I would just dream about being in school. Over and over. The dreams only seemed to be getting worse along with my quality of sleep.

"Open your eyes for just a second, I turned off the lights." The voice said gently. I cracked my eyes opened and a light passed over my eyes quickly. "It's meds time, and then lunch. If you're not feeling better after that I'll have someone come and check on you. Alright?"

"Yeah." She turned on a single lamp on the dresser across the room and I propped myself up on my left arm. I took a deep breath and tried to sit up the rest of the way. Lightning flashed through my body as my muscles fired uselessly and trembled. My core ached and my back muscles struggled to hold me up.

"Slow down, kiddo." I looked up at the voice and recognized the nurse's face, but I couldn't think of a name.

"I can do it." I insisted.

"Not yet. Maybe by next week, but not yet. If you pull a muscle or something you'll set yourself back." She explained, placing her forearms under my arms and pulling me into a sitting position.

"So, what?"

"I haven't known you very long, but I know that would drive you crazy." Did she know me that well? How long had I been here? A few weeks? A month? I didn't feel older, it couldn't have been years. I would have remembered a year. Would I? She draped my left arm over her shoulder and moved me from the bed to a wheelchair. "Alright, meds first, then lunch." She seemed to go on auto pilot. A series of pre-measured syringes were placed on the table in front of me and after close inspection of the IV in my arm she began to push one after the other.

Once she finished she began messing with the tube in my nose, she plugged it into a pump of some kind and I watched as a milky fluid rose up through the tube and into my nose. I looked back at the nurse and tried to think of something else. I couldn't feel whatever was in the pump actually go into my stomach but thinking about the tube in my nose made me notice how uncomfortable the tube itself really was. It scratched the back of my throat constantly and there was a faint burning sensation in my nose. I reached up to rub my nose, but my hand was quickly pulled away.

"I know it's awful, but you need it."

"How long?"

"Hopefully not too much longer. You've been doing really well so hopefully it'll be out soon." She smiled and grabbed a hairbrush from out of the bathroom. "Your moms are coming back with your siblings. I've heard you have a lot of siblings."

"Yes." I answered softly. She patted my shoulder and began brushing.

**Jude – **

Our parents came back looking a little grim, but without our grandparents in tow. As soon as they stepped through the door it seemed as though there was still plenty of work to be done. They dumped a stack of mail in their room and sat down for a quick lunch.

"Callie will be ready to see us in an hour. We need everyone to be ready to leave by then." Stef called out through a mouthful of leftovers. There wasn't much for us to do to be ready, but we made sure the kitchen was still clean and I helped Mariana start a load of laundry.

"Do you think, are you ready to visit Callie this time?" I asked as Mariana closed the washing machine.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She grumbled and began to put the wet clothes in the dryer.

"I just mean, you. It was really hard for you to visit Callie last time. I'm here for you, if you have the same problem this time."

"I'm fine." The trust we had was gone. The entire family was changing, Mariana didn't trust me the way she did before Callie got hurt. She didn't seem to trust anyone anymore.

"All right, c'mon. Let's go." Stef's voice echoed throughout the house. "Damnit. Lena, do you see the car keys anywhere?"

"Just relax and take a breath. Callie's going to be fine even if we're late." Stef ran around the house looking under cushions and searching in they hadn't even entered. "Stef, I have them. They're here on the counter." Lena called up the stairs. Mom came charging back down and kissed Lena quickly.

"Okay, kids in the car!" She shouted throughout the house. Mariana pushed past me and was the first one out the door. I grabbed a card I had made for Callie off the counter and followed her. I took my usual seat in the middle of the car and Brandon moved to the back, beside Mariana. Jesus was the last one in the car and once he got in Mom started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

"So, does this place just look like a hospital?" Jesus asked texting rapidly on his phone.

"Yeah, I guess so. Once you get inside you see it's different, but it still kind of looks like a hospital." Lena answered.

"Does it have a cafeteria?"

"We were just at home, you didn't grab something to eat then?"

"I did, but what if I get hungry?" Jesus protested.

"Mom, how long are we going stay and visit?" Mariana asked from the back.

"A few hours, why? Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, why does everyone keep asking me that?" She grumbled.

"Just checking on you. Sorry."

"What happened to your parents? I thought they were coming back to the house?" Brandon spoke up, removing his headphones.

"They were just tired, wanted to get a little time to themselves. You'll see them for dinner." Jesus spoke up with another question, but I pulled my headphones out of my pocket and picked a random song in a random playlist to cover up the never ending barrage of questions that were going to continue the entire ride to see Callie.

I stared out the window and watched as we got on the highway as if we were going to the hospital but pulled off rather quickly and pulled into the parking lot of a large building about thirty minutes after leaving home.

"Okay, I know you guys are really excited to see Callie, but she's still struggling with a few things. Okay? She's doing great, but she still has a long way to go." Stef looked at each of us and nodded.

"We know, Mom." Mariana answered. It was something you would expect to hear from her, but the tone wasn't right. You would have expected it to sound a little annoyed but overall happy, excited to see Callie. But she sounded as though she hated every one of us and she would rather be anywhere but here. I couldn't tell if moms caught the change of tone, but there was tension between the four of us in the back.

The six of us walked into the front door and we waited patiently and, to Momma's surprise, quietly as we were signed in and handed "visitor" badges. We followed moms down the hallway and passed a series of rooms that were nothing like the hospital. There was a game room complete with a pool table, air hockey, and a flat screen TV. We passed a cafeteria that was more like a small restaurant than anything else. Then there was another room that was half library and there were some people sitting in the other half playing board games and card games.

"This place looks awesome." Jesus called from the game room and jogged down the hall to catch up with us. "Brandon, could you drive us to visit Callie? I wanna try out that air hockey table."

"No, he can't. If you guys want to visit Callie you need to be with either Mom or I. They won't let you in if you aren't." Lena said quickly and we turned down another hallway. "The dormitory is on another floor, so we have to get in the elevator." We all piled in the elevator and the butterflies started in my stomach. Now I could actually talk to Callie, she might not be able to answer everything, but she could talk to me too. Every time we turned down another hall my heart pounded a little harder. We were getting closer and closer, until we stopped in front of a door with Callie's initials written on it.

Stef knocked softly and opened the door. We waited outside with Momma and I bounced on the balls of my feet anxiously. "Just let me check and see if she's asleep, okay?" Mom said softly and stepped inside the room. I heard a little commotion and Stef talking to Callie, but we were only left waiting for about thirty seconds. The door was opened the rest of the way and we stepped into Callie's bedroom. She was sitting in a wheelchair at the table in the corner of her room and she watched as each of us walked in. I had seen this room before, I recognized it from the videos that moms brought home on their cell phones of Callie having speech therapy or giving her presents.

"Hi, Callie." I couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear. She was there, in front of me, she was okay. Her eyes were open, she was sitting up she was really there.

"Hi." She seemed to reply automatically. She looked like Callie, she looked like Callie before the accident. The feeling was different though, she didn't look at me the same. She didn't seem happy to see me. She didn't even seem to notice that I was there.

"Hey everyone!" Someone said from the doorway. "You guys must be the Adams – Fosters?" Everyone nodded, but I couldn't stop looking at Callie. Vico had done this, Vico had taken her from me.

"Callie?" I said softly stepping closer. She looked at me, she actually looked at me and her eyebrows came together. "Do you know who I am?"

"Jude" – Lena placed her hand on my shoulder, but I pushed her off.

"Know who I am?" Callie repeated softly.

"What's my name?" I tried not to shout, but hatred was boiling in my stomach. "You know me, what's my name?" Stef grabbed my arms roughly and tried to pull me away.

"You – I know." Callie struggled. She made eye contact with me briefly. "Brother." Tears rimmed her eyes and I sprinted out of the room before she could see me cry.

"Jude, stop. Now." Stef was pissed, I froze in my tracks about ten feet from Callie's room. "What the hell was that?"

"She doesn't know me. She doesn't remember anything, that's not Callie. I want Callie." My hands were shaking and my face was wet with tears.

"That's not true. She remembers everything from before the accident. She remembers you, I promise."

"She doesn't even know my fucking name!" I screamed into Stef's face. She looked taken aback for a brief second, but the emotionlessness that followed was terrifying. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm really sorry."

"I know." Shame filled the silence between us. "And Callie does know your name, but it's going to take a lot more work and practice before she can talk as fluently as she did before. One thing that won't help is getting angry at her. However frustrated you are, it's worse for her. Okay?"

My stomach sank, the furrowed eyebrows and the tears in her eyes. Callie did understand me and I had yelled at her. I had yelled at her and I didn't even give her a chance. "I'm sorry."

"I know you're frustrated with Callie, I know because I get frustrated too. I get frustrated when she can't tell me what's bothering her or what she wants. I get frustrated when Callie doesn't want to do therapy, I get angry when Callie forgets words like 'cup'. I'm telling you all these because we're all going to get frustrated, but we can't blame Callie."

"I wouldn't"-

"We all will, and I know because I've done it." I watched as Mom tried to hold back tears.

"I hate Vico, I'm glad he's dead." I growled.

"Don't waste time thinking that way." I could still see the disappointment etched on her face. "If you give Callie a chance you'll be surprised. Give her a little space and some time and you'll see that she's still the same. She still loves you, she asks about you, she recognizes you. Finding the words is just difficult. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay." I dried my face. Looking back towards the room dread filled me, I had just yelled at Callie after not seeing her for a few weeks. "I have to apologize, don't I?"

"Of course you do." She hugged me and then turned me around to march me right back into Callie's room. Callie didn't seem too upset with me, but she was even more reserved than before.

"I – I'm sorry, Callie." There was only silence in the room. "I didn't mean to get mad with you. I'm sorry I yelled."

"It's okay." She said softly and Stef started up some casual conversation to fill the awkward presence I had left in the room. While mom was telling a ridiculous story about something that had happened at work Callie's left hand reached out slowly and held onto mine. Her hand even felt different, her grip was tight but it wasn't strong and I could feel her hand trembling in mine. But the energy was there, I could feel Callie inside and she was terrified.

I squeezed her hand back and hoped that this meant she had forgiven me. Though Callie didn't participate in conversation the mood in the room slowly changed. It felt nice, we took turns telling Callie happy things that had happened recently and even Mariana seemed happy here.

"So, when can Callie come home?" Brandon asked during a lull in the conversation.

"We, we're not sure, B." Stef said sadly. "There are still a lot of goals that they want Callie to accomplish before she comes home."

"It's okay." Callie spoke up. "I'm okay." She squeezed my hand again and a shaky smile crossed her face.

"Can I paint your fingernails?" I asked after glancing down at her hand. She looked confused, but I looked expectantly at Mariana and after rolling her eyes she pulled out a few different colors. "Can I?" I asked again holding up the polish.

"Y-yes." She answered after a moment.

"Great! Put your hands on the table." Callie placed her left hand on the table. "You can put both up."

"Can't." Callie whispered. Lena reached over and slowly placed her right hand on the table, I tried to pretend I hadn't seen Callie wince a little.

"Here, why don't I do the right hand while Jude does the left. We can do every other nail different colors. It'll be really cute." Mariana exclaimed grabbing a matching color off the table. She picked up Callie's right hand gently and started painting her nails. I got started on her left, and Callie seemed to relax. She seemed relieved to be able to participate in an activity in which she wasn't expected to keep up with something. The only thing she needed to do was sit there.

Mariana finished a lot faster than I did, but she continued to hold Callie's right hand carefully so the polish wouldn't get messed up before it dried. "Alright, let's switch seats." Mariana said once I finished. Mariana handed me Callie's hand once we hand switched seats and I started painting the other nails. I pulled Cal's hand up closer to me and she let out an audible gasp.

"Sorry, sorry." I said quickly dropping her hand. The color drained from her face, and she had a pained expression.

"It's okay." She said shakily.

"You're fine, Jude." Lena said reassuringly. "It's just sore, you didn't hurt her." I picked up her hand again, but now my hands were shaking. "Don't worry. It's her shoulder, it just hurts if it gets moved past a certain point. You're okay." I took a deep breath and tried to shake it off. I finished the last of her nails as quickly as I could and handed the polish to Mariana so she could fix some of the spots.

"Mom, can I go check out the game room?" Jesus asked after checking out the stack of activities in book shelf along the wall.

"Stay here for a few more minutes, okay? Then you and Brandon can go hang out." Stef said with a smile.

Mariana finished Callie's nails and Momma placed a pillow on Callie's lap and her hands on top of it so that they wouldn't get messed up. I was left with nothing to do now, I felt awkward not being able to have a conversation with Callie. But now that we had been here for a little over an hour I could tell that our presence was taking a toll on her. She was exhausted, she was squinting and was slumped a little in her chair.

"Stef, I think the boys should go ahead. It's about time for Callie to relax."

"I'm fine." Callie answered quickly.

"I know, baby." Lena kissed the top of her head and gave Stef a quick look. Stef gave her an understanding nod and let Jesus and Brandon leave. "It looks like your nails are all dry, you ready for a nap?"

"Not tired." Callie muttered, but it was obviously a lie. She flinched and pressed her left hand against her eye.

"Jude won't leave. He'll stay here." Stef said softly.

"Yeah, I promise." I said quickly, I smiled but Callie had her eyes shut tight. Stef pulled the wheelchair away from the table and brought it over to the bed.

"Sorry." Callie sounded like she was going to cry, and it hurt my heart. I had seen a lot of terrible things happen to her, and I knew that even worse had happened that I didn't know about. But she was really struggling, and it was really hard to see. It made sense now, moms always being exhausted and constantly on the phone with doctor after doctor.

"It's okay." I said gently.

"Just give her a minute, Jude." Stef said softly. She picked Callie up and tucked her into bed. "She just has a headache, but a nap will help a lot. Today was really busy for Cal, but she'll be okay." I nodded and watched as Mom carefully eased her out of the sweatshirt she had on and helped her lay down.

"Can, can I talk with Callie until she falls asleep? Is that okay?"

"Well, I – I don't see why not." Lena stumbled. They each said goodbye and Stef squeezed my shoulder.

"I'll be back to check on you guys in ten minutes, okay." I nodded and Stef turned on a small lamp in the corner and turned off the lights. "We'll be right down the hall."

"Okay." Callie answered, Mom laughed a little and cracked the door. "Miss you." Callie muttered, she kept her eyes closed and a tear fell from the corner of her eye.

"I miss you, too." I reached out to hold her hand, but I paused. I didn't want to hurt her again. "Sorry."

"Why?" Mom was right, she was a lot easier to talk to when there was less going on.

"I yelled at you, and I left you at school. You were hurt and I tried to get you out, I think I hurt you more."

"Don't remember." Callie's eyebrows came together. "It's okay."

"It's not, you've helped me plenty of times. I couldn't help you." Callie cracked her eyes open and placed her left hand on top of mine.

"Love you." She was obviously exhausted and even though she wasn't fully asleep she was too tired to talk anymore.

"I love you, too." I squeezed her hand as her breathing slowed and the crease between her eyebrows slowly disappeared. I didn't have to wait long for mom to come back to check on Callie. Mom was always worried about Callie these days, and it was obvious why.

"Did you guys talk about anything special?" Stef asked tucking the blankets around my sister.

"Not really, I just apologized again." Mom nodded and made sure no one had left anything behind in Callie's room. "Do – how much do you think Callie understands?"

"It depends, why?"

"I – I guess I'm just trying to figure out how I should act when Callie comes home. I just want things to be easy for her." Mom closed the door behind us and we walked towards the game room.

"I'm sure Callie will want us to treat her the same, but she does a lot better at understanding if you talk a little slower and look right at her. Don't worry too much, okay?"

"I'm not." I slipped my hand into mom's. "Don't worry too much. Callie's going to get a lot better." Stef smiled and wrapped an arm around me.

**Callie – **

I woke up expecting to find people I recognized in my room. People that were close to me, and people I really cared about. But they were gone. My moms and my brothers and sister, that's who was here. It was time to wake up for dinner, so they were long gone, but I tried to feel neutral about it. They couldn't stay here all day watching me sleep.

"Hey, Callie. Are you feeling okay?" A nurse asked from the corner of my room.

"Tired." I answered truthfully. "Sore."

"No worries. We'll do dinner and then you can go right back to sleep. Okay?" That would be great, I nodded and reached up so I could get help sitting up. The nurse let me stay in bed as she checked the feeding tube and hooked it up to the pump. "You had a busy day. Who came to visit you?"

"Family." She injected all the medications into my IV and waited with me until the pump let out a beep telling us it had finished. "Tomorrow? What day?" I asked as she cleaned everything up and prepared to leave.

"Tomorrow is Saturday, you have physical therapy." I nodded and eased back into bed. "It's just a half day though, maybe you can hang out with Kelsey some."

"Kelsey?"

"Your friend, from school. She's been asking about you." I searched through my shitty memory, but I couldn't put a face with that name. "Alright, you relax and get some sleep. If you need anything let me know." She turned off the lights and I could feel some sort of medication start to take over. It was something to help me sleep and within the next ten minutes I was unconscious.

I woke up without dreaming, it was weird, but not unexpected. I hadn't had a decent quality of sleep in weeks and they had been keeping track. I went through the normal routine. I was helped out of bed and taken into the bathroom for a shower and was dressed. My teeth were brushed and I was finally able to spit on my own without drooling on myself. Someone combed through my hair and I sat at the table like I could actually eat breakfast.

"Hey, Callie!" Someone said brightly from the door to my room. I lifted my head up and turned as far as I could, which was only a few inches. That girl, she was friends with my sister, she was on crutches. We hung out a lot. "Kelsey." She said with a smile.

"I know." I answered quickly, but she smiled. She sat down at my table with me and a nurse placed real food in front of her. I didn't feel hungry, but I missed everything about food. I missed the different textures, flavors, hell I even missed just sitting in front of something that looked appetizing.

"Sorry, I can wait and eat somewhere else." Kelsey said softly.

"No, no. It's okay." I assured her. She nodded and started eating. "Sister yesterday. Family." I struggled to string a sentence together.

"Yeah, I saw your family yesterday. They hung out with me after seeing you." That was good, I got a feeling that she was lonely. She never seemed disappointed that I couldn't hang out with her all the time, but she was always there. "Your moms said you got to see your grandparents too."

Did I? Was that the awkward people I saw yesterday? I would believe it. I didn't recognize them, but I didn't recognize anyone these days. "Okay." I picked at the bracelet on my right hand and practiced touching my thumb to all my other fingers.

"We have physical therapy together today. Do you know what you're working on?"

"Sitting." It was a ridiculous notion, that I had to learn how to sit by myself, but it was true. I spent hours every week trying to stay upright.

"I'm working on standing. It sucks." We both laughed a little.

"You home soon?" Kelsey picked at her food awkwardly.

"Yeah, I'm going home soon."

"Not happy?" I didn't understand the emotion on her face, but it definitely wasn't happy.

"Not really. I know you really want to go home, but you're my only friend and I'll have no one at home." I struggled to make sense of what she had said. We hadn't been friends before this, but I was her only friend? I thought she had a lot of friends, I was sure she had a lot of friends.

"Sorry." I wanted to say so much more, but I couldn't put the words together.

"It's okay."

"No." I tried not to feel mad at myself. Kelsey was my friend, and I couldn't even find words to make her feel better.

"Don't, don't do that to yourself Callie. You're doing great. You'll be out of here right after me and then we can hang out at your house. Your moms said it's okay." I nodded and tried to touch my right hand to the table. "Okay, what do you want to do till therapy?" Kelsey asked pushing her empty plate away.

"You pick." She picked a board game that I had no idea was even on my shelf. "Thank you." I said softly as she set up the entire game and handed me a piece.

"Stop saying that." She said shortly. "You go first." She held a spinner down on the table and I gave it a clumsy push with my hand. We played for over an hour, but I never really grasped the concept of what was supposed to happen in the game.

"Callie, Kelsey, time for the gym." Someone knocked gently on the door frame. I pushed myself away from the table with my left hand and used my left foot to inch the wheelchair towards the door.

"I'll see you in there, Cal." Kelsey called after putting the board game away and crutching down the hall.

"Here, Cal." The nurse said softly, and she knelt in front of me to put on the thick soled shoes that sat in the corner of my room for therapy. She pushed me into the gym and my physical therapist was there waiting for me. "I'll see you in a few hours." The nurse behind me patted my shoulder and the physical therapist took her place.

"Alright, you remember the drill?" She had a huge smile on her face. I recognized her, I didn't know her name, but I liked her. I shook my head. "That's alright." She had me scoot to the edge of my chair and she watched me sit there for a few seconds. "You look really solid today, let's stretch and see how everything is." She picked me up and had me lay down on an examination table. She stretched everything and it hurt like hell, some part of me knew that it used to be worse but not by much. It sucked and took nearly an hour of massaging and pushing and pulling.

"Better?" I asked as she finally let go of my foot.

"Much better. I think we can try standing today."

"Me?"

"Of course you, but don't worry. I'll be right here. First sitting." I put my left hand behind me and tried to push myself up. "Great, now can you put your right elbow here?" She had me prop my right elbow up so there was a little support. "Can you push yourself the rest of the way?" I pushed myself up a little farther, but once I tried to lean against my right hand it collapsed under my weight. "I've got you, it's okay."

"Stupid." I muttered to myself.

"No, you're fine. Next time, lean your weight to the left." We tried it three more times before I was able to pull myself into a seated position. "Awesome, awesome job Cal." She moved me back into my wheelchair and I was pushed to a different corner of the gym. "Okay, time for the hard stuff." I sat on the floor and did a series of exercises to strengthen my stomach and back, then they had me sit on a yoga ball and try and hold myself up for ten seconds at a time.

"Hard." I grumbled after another hour of therapy.

"You did great though." She helped me get back into the wheelchair and we started working on the grasping strength of my right hand. This was less exhausting, but it was still difficult. It required more thought than strength, but this was better than the foggy memories I had of not being able to move anything.

"Done?" I asked as she put away the last container and someone started setting up the many icepacks I was always provided after a session.

"One last thing." She reached down and took off my shoes. "These are going to feel really uncomfortable, but you'll get used to them." She pulled up my socks almost all the way to my knees and slid my ankle into a plastic brace. "Your moms picked the color. You'll need new ones in a few weeks so if you hate it, let me know." She pulled the straps tight and I flinched as my foot was held in a slightly uncomfortable position. She put the other one on and then tied my shoes over them. "They're going to feel uncomfortable, but do they hurt?"

"No." She smiled a little and motioned for someone to move closer.

"Okay, ready, Callie?" She asked. There was an excitement in the air that I couldn't explain or understand. Hands tightly gripped my upper arms and I was gently pulled to my feet. My knees buckled, there was no way I would have stayed standing if I didn't have the support of at least two people. "Look at that, you did it." I looked up and I could see myself in the mirror. For the first time I recognized myself, and for the first time I truly felt like this wasn't entirely hopeless.

**Stef – **

I left work with another bag of letters for Callie, and a pounding headache. Working security at sporting events was officially my least favorite thing. Thousands of drunk people fighting over spilled beer and overpriced hot dogs. Pulling into the driveway it was obvious that everyone had gone to bed. Even Brandon's bedroom was dark. Trying not to make noise, I placed the bag of mail on the already overflowing pile and grabbed Motrin and a bottle of water.

Standing in the kitchen slowly taking off my uniform I couldn't help but stare at the pile of mail. There were probably some really important things in there. I kicked off my boots and dragged the basket of letters over to the table.

Sorting them into piles was easy. Callie had the largest stack of mail that Lena and I could go through later. Most of her mail was get well cards, but every once in a while we would find a donation to help with her medical expenses. There was the occasional letter to Brandon about applying to a specific college and a never ending stack of fashion magazines for Mariana.

One of the last envelopes was heavier than the others, it caught my eye. It had a rather plain outside, but it was titled to the 'Parents of Callie Adams – Foster' but it didn't look like any of the bills sitting on the side of the table. I opened it and stared at the letter for five minutes before understanding what was being told to me.

Callie had been referred, by a family member. Though more information and confirmation is required, she has been approved. Callie was being offered a wish. A wish that I have always associated with dying kids. Kids that were going to die any minute and deserved to do something special. Was that my daughter? Every doctor we had talked to recently kept telling us how happy they were with her progress, but was she still this sick? Flipping the page, I began to read again. A doctor's note was needed to confirm Callie's condition and its severity, within the template provided for the doctor it asked about possible limitations and services that may need to be available in case of emergencies. Past that was a ten-page booklet intended for Callie providing her with ideas on what she could "wish" for.

What in the world would Callie wish for? A year ago she would have wished for a safe place for Jude and herself, but now she was supposed to be a normal kid that could wish for normal things. "Hey, I thought I heard you come home." Lena said behind me. I dropped the stack of papers nearly jumping out of my skin. "Sorry."

"It's okay." I should hide the letter from Lena, we shouldn't do this. We don't even have time. "I was just sorting through all the mail. Callie got some more letters at the station."

"That's great." Her arms wrapped around my shoulders. "You smell like beer."

"Yeah. Callie got – well we, we got this letter for Callie." Shuffling to the first page I handed the letter to Lena. "It's from the Make a Wish people. Someone sent in a letter on Callie's behalf and she's been approved."

"Oh." Lena seemed a little defeated.

"Yeah. I didn't even think about something like this."

"I guess it could be nice. A family vacation, even if it's just for a few days." She said softly. "We'd have to stay somewhere close to a hospital, if Callie hit her head or stopped breathing we'd be in trouble. If something happened, if we lost a bag with her medicine in it. That's just too many things that could go wrong, maybe we can wait a few months?"

"Yeah, maybe." There were a lot of things that we would have to account for. "What would Callie even want to do?"

"She"- Lena looked a little lost. "She'd just want to be with her whole family." I nodded and took the letter from Lena's hands. Carefully tucking it back into its envelope I pushed myself away from the table.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm just tired. And I smell like beer." We left the mountain of sorted mail on the table and I took a shower. I tried to think of anything but that letter sitting on the table. It only seemed to confirm how close we had been to losing Callie. How close we still are in some ways.

Climbing into bed, beside Lena I found her hand among the sheets. "I think we should wait for Callie to decide what she wants to do. We can wait for the wish until she's a bit better and then she can choose."

"I really don't want to talk about it." I said quickly, causing Lena to turn in bed and face me.

"You sure you're okay?" Her face was only a few inches from mine, I could smell the toothpaste she had used a few minutes before.

"I'm fine."

She leaned in and kissed me, her hair smelled like grapefruit. "Everything is going to be okay, I know it's hard to believe."—

"I believe you," I kissed her again, and held her as close to me as I could. My heart began to race, but this was different. This was nice. I placed my hand on her hip and rolled her onto her back. I pulled back a few inches and looked into her eyes, her hand rested gently on the back of my neck. A small smile appeared on her face. "I've missed you."

"I know," She answered slyly. I leaned in and kissed her again, her lips were softer than I remembered. I ran my hand along the hem of her shirt and moved it away slowly. Her warm skin met my fingertips and I deepened our kiss.

Lena's cell phone began to ring and she turned away to answer it. "Hey, ignore it." I kissed her neck and smiled as her breaths became short. My cell phone suddenly blasted out its own song. I groaned and turned to find mine in the pile of clothes on the floor, Lena reached for her phone on the bedside table.

"It's Callie." Lena said shortly, swinging her legs off the bed and pulling on some sweatpants. I rushed to find my phone before it stopped ringing.

"Hello? Hello?" I asked, hoping I had caught the phone on its last ring, but Lena's phone started to ring again.

"Hello?" Lena asked sharply. "Yes, I'm Callie's mother." I tossed Lena's shoes onto the bed and finished getting dressed. "We're on our way, do not sedate her. We'll handle it." I opened the door to the car for Lena to get in and jogged to the driver's side.

"Why would they sedate her?"

"She tried to run away, she's really upset and managed to get herself into the wheel chair and down a few halls before being stopped." Lena said with a weak smile. "She thinks she's in a group home, that we gave her up." The forced smile melted off Lena's face and tears fell down her cheeks. "She's scared and hurt and we left her alone when she can't even remember her own name." The entire car ride was silent, but Lena held onto my hand. It was three in the morning and the road was empty. The glow on the horizon only lied, the city was in the distance and there were still a few hours until sunrise.

I pulled into the empty parking lot at the rehab enter and turned off the car. Neither of us moved to get out. "Have you thought about what we're supposed to say?"

"I don't think she remembers you telling her about Vico." Lena answered looking out at the front door to the center.

"Oh." Words caught in my throat. "Will – will you help me this time?" Lena looked at me, but I tried to look at her anywhere but the eyes. "Callie was really upset the first time, I don't know if I can do it alone."

"Of course." She said with a serious nod and stepped out into the cold. I followed her and locked the car as we approached the front door. Lena gave it a tug, but it remained locked. I reached out to the wall and pressed the security button.

"Hello?" A voice crackled through the intercom.

"We're here to see Callie Foster. We're her parents."

"The Fosters, yes come in and someone will meet you in the lobby." The door gave an electronic buzz before clicking open. As soon as we stepped into the lobby a nurse we had only seen a few times came running around the corner.

"Sorry you had to be called, but this seemed like a special circumstance you would want to handle. "

"Don't worry, it was the right choice." Lena assured her walking towards Callie's room. I followed behind her and stepped into Callie's room to see her trying to twist her arm out of someone's grip. I had never seen her this angry in the past nine months she had been living with us.

Lena crossed the little room in a few quick strides and crouched in front of where Callie was sitting on her bed with the other two nurses who were trying to keep her from standing or hitting someone.

"Hey, Callie." Lena said with more confidence I could even imagine having right now. Callie looked up at Lena and somehow managed to look even more pissed off.

"Home." She spat. I placed my hand on Lena's shoulder and sat in front of Callie too.

"I know this isn't home." Lena said sympathetically. "It's scary being away from everyone."

"Home." Callie pleaded. "Sorry, Momma, I'm sorry." She sobbed.

"I'll hold her." I said softly to the nurse. I took a firm hold of Callie's left wrist before the nurse let go and backed away. I sat on Callie's bed and suddenly realized that Callie could hardly sit up on her own. The nurse across from me had a firm grip on Callie's shirt so she wouldn't fall over

"What are you sorry for baby?" Lena asked gently. Callie seemed to search for an answer. She looked at me as if I was going to tell her what she did wrong.

"M – m – Monday, up for school?" Callie closed her eyes, I suddenly noticed a bruise on her forehead that had blossomed into a black eye. I started to say something, but Lena shook her head. "At school, blood, my fault."

Lena looked shocked, this was the first time Callie showed any evidence of having any memory past leaving the house for school.

"No, group home. I'm sorry. Home, please." Callie began crying again, she leaned all the way to the left and rested her head against my shoulder. I let go of her shirt and wrapped my arms around her in a hug.

"Callie, you aren't in a group home." I said softly. I'm not sure if she heard me or understood me, but I held her tightly and Lena replaced the other nurse on her right side. "What happened to her forehead?" I asked a nurse coldly.

"We're not sure but we think she may have bumped her head getting out of bed, there's a security camera in her room and we can check the footage if you want."

"Yeah, I want to look at it." I answered immediately.

"Stef, can you do that tomorrow?" Lena said softly, Callie was still crying in my arms. "Thank you for your help, could we have a few minutes with Callie alone?"

"Absolutely. Just push the button on the wall if you need us. We've checked to see if she has a concussion and we haven't seen any signs, but someone will be coming in to check on her every hour." The nurse stepped out of the room and we were left with a slightly less hysterical Callie.

"Callie, do you know where you are?" I asked as she paused to take a breath.

"N – no." She took ragged breaths, but kept her face buried in my right shoulder. "Something wrong. Can't walk."

"It's scary, I know." Lena said softly. "You're in a hospital that's helping you get better."

"My – my head. Hurts." She continued.

"I'm sorry, Cal." I kissed the top of her head and reached over to dry her face. "Do you remember what we talked about a few days ago?"

"No." She huffed.

"Okay, it's okay." Lena began to rub her back and I rested my chin on the top of her head. "You're in the hospital because you hurt your head." My throat closed over and tears burnt my eyes.

"On Monday, a few weeks ago, you were at school." Lena started after taking a deep breath.

"Yes." Callie confirmed.

"On your way to lunch someone started shooting. Everyone else was okay. Brandon, Mariana, Jesus, Jude and I we're all okay. Someone brought a gun to school and started shooting and you were shot." Lena continued.

"Okay." Callie whispered softly. I waited for more, but there was nothing.

"You've had a lot of surgeries and therapy, and your doctor says you can come home soon. Your bedroom is waiting for you and Jude misses you." I added.

"Yes."

"How are you feeling?" Lena asked gently. She seemed concerned by Callie's rather calm state.

"Tired." She muttered.

"Where are you?" I asked suddenly feeling nervous that she would just forget everything.

"Hospital." She breathed. "Home soon."

"What happened at school?"

"M – Monday. Hurt head." Her eyebrows came together as she tried to remember the specifics. "Forgot." She answered a few moments later.

"You were shot." I reminded her gently.

"Right." She looked up at me and Lena. "Love you."

"We love you too. You've been adopted, you're not going anywhere. Once you're out of the hospital you're coming straight home." Callie seemed to scan her memory for this.

"Mmm, I."

"Take a breath, relax." Lena said calmly. I was starting to worry that Callie was going to have a seizure. She was worked up and her breathing was irregular. She had hit her head and she was obviously exhausted, each of these could easily induce a seizure and they were all happening at once, but Lena remained calm.

"Stay." Callie asked.

"Yeah, of course. Someone's going to stay with you tonight." Lena responded automatically.

"T – t – tired." She stuttered.

"Okay, it's okay." Lena and I eased her back into bed and tucked her in. After kissing her and rubbing her back I started to stand up. She grabbed my hand and let out a little noise of protest.

"Go ahead and climb in bed with her. Maybe it will help her sleep. I'll go check in with that nurse for the security tape and I'll see if I can get a cot to sleep on." I kicked off my shoes and moved into the space between Callie and the wall and rubbed her back.

"Sorry." Callie whispered, a tear fell from her eyes.

"No, no. You have nothing to be sorry about. Relax, I won't go anywhere. Get some sleep." I insisted and climbed under the covers with her. "Everything's okay. You're safe." I found myself whispering over and over, until she was truly asleep.

"Hey." Lena whispered, stepping back into the room. "We checked out the tape, Callie hit her head on the arm of the wheel chair as she was getting into it. It was crazy to see, but made her doctor a little worried. The physical therapist has a note to check her out to make sure she didn't hurt herself."

"That's good, I guess. I'd rather not deal with finding a new rehab center." Lena nodded and leaned over to check on Callie. "She's asleep, didn't take too long." A janitor knocked on the door frame softly and pushed in a fold away bed. He set it up in the corner and smiled as Lena thanked him softly.

Lena turned off the light and I heard her climb in the bed. The screen from her phone lit up the room. "I texted the kids, told them not to worry. I'll call in to work tomorrow."

"You might not need to. She could be okay."

"I'll decide tomorrow." I heard her settle into the bed. "I love you."

"I love you too."

**Hey everyone! Thanks for reading! I love the constructive criticism so feel free to share your opinions. There are only going to be the three points of view currently expressed throughout the entire story (Stef, Callie, and Jude) this is mostly just so that the story doesn't get too messy and confusing with a lot going on. It's already a busy story and if there was anything else it would fall apart. And even though I wish I could write you guys twenty page chapters every single month or even a few times a month it's just about impossible. Super sorry, but I've always aimed for quality over quantity. I personally want to keep this story at the standard I set for myself so even though it may take a while for a new chapter I'd rather it take a while and be proud of what I wrote than have dozens of chapters that don't make either of us (readers and author) happy.**

**Please review! **

**Thanks**

**-Kodi**


	11. Chapter 11

**Stef – **

I laid there beside Callie and stroked her hair. I watched as minutes ticked by on the clock beside her bed. She was going to wake up in ten minutes or so and I was going to have to explain everything to her again. Despite Lena's insistence that she would switch days with me I managed to convince her that she should stay home to help the kids with their school work, so I has been sleeping here every night for the past week.

Callie gasped awake and looked around the room, it was as if she were looking around somewhere else and couldn't see me. She sat up and winced, bringing her hand to her chest. She scanned the room slowly, and started to move as if she was going to try and stand up. "Callie, it's okay." I said softly sitting up beside her. She stared at me for a moment and then looked at her right hand, she squeezed it into a fist slowly and suddenly looked terrified. I placed my hand in her right hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm here." I said brushing her hair back out of her face.

"I-I." Tears filled her eyes.

"You're having trouble talking, it's okay." I assured her with a nod.

"Home?" She said looking around. "Going to school."

"Callie I need you to relax." I said sternly.

"Help." She mumbled.

"Come over here, baby." I said softly, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into my lap. She fought me a little and tried to push me away, but her strength was still less than fifty percent of what it used to be. "It's okay, I'm here, it's going to be okay."

"Wrong, wrong, wrong." Callie mumbled to herself.

"Do you remember yesterday? When I told you about the accident?" I whispered into her hair. Callie stopped talking and fighting against me, her breathing slowed a little, and she tightened her right hand over mine.

"At school, alone." Callie said softly.

"No baby you weren't alone, Jude was there."

"Lost Jude, couldn't find Jude." She answered.

"Jude was there, then he left to get help and then I was there. You weren't alone Callie." I explained softly. Callie's eyebrows came together.

"Don't remember accident." She said after a few moments.

"Okay, that's okay. You were at school on Monday before lunch." I recited, trying to stay patient. Though I had explained this to her it was her first time hearing it. "There was a shooting, someone brought a gun to school, and you were shot." I explained as carefully as I knew how. There was no right way to explain this to Callie and there was no way to predict how Callie was going to take the news.

"Where? Where shot?"

"Oh, in your back and here." I answered touching the scar in her hair. Callie didn't say anything. "Are you okay?" She stared past me.

"Blood, blood at school." My chest hurt, did Callie remember? The chances of that happening had to be less than none. She had brain damage, she was barely conscious when they put her in the ambulance.

"There was, but Jude got help and I was with you the whole way to the hospital." She finally looked at me and there was a little smile.

"Who? Who shot me?" This was the first time Callie had asked that, his name stuck in my throat. I hated thinking about that kid and his family and I hated myself for hating them.

"Vico, but he's gone Cal. He can't hurt you." She nodded and looked around.

"At the center." She announced, with a sigh. "I remember."

"Yeah? That's great Callie. You're getting so much better." She gave me a look that let me know that optimism wasn't appreciated at the moment.

"When home?"

"I don't know Callie, hopefully soon. Everyone misses you." She just ran her left hand through her hair and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "It's okay to feel sad about what happened."

"Remember you telling before, I just, I forgot."

"Okay." I tried not to smile, this was something to feel so proud of, but it was obviously devastating for her. "It's pretty early, you should try and get some more sleep."

"How long been here?" She looked around the room and saw the staggering amount of letters and cards on the bookshelf and wall.

"You've been at the center for three weeks."

"Hospital?"

"You were in the hospital for five weeks." The crease between her eyebrows returned and she began thinking hard about something. "Two months. It's been two months since the accident." Shock appeared over her face.

"Go home." She stuttered.

"Don't worry, you'll be home soon." I reached out to place my hand on her shoulder.

"No, you. Go home, Mom." I could feel my mouth open, but I wasn't sure what to do. "I'm okay."

"I haven't been sleeping beside you for two months, Cal. Don't worry." She eyed me suspiciously. "If you go back to sleep and wake up scared because you forgot what we just talked about, what are you going to do?" She thought about my question for a moment.

"Write note?" I got out of the bed and grabbed a pad of paper off the bookshelf and wrote a short note.

"What does that say?" I held the note in front of her. She stared at it for a moment and was obviously struggling with it. She grabbed it with her left hand and held it closer to her face. "You're going to give yourself a headache." I whispered softly as the concentration became apparent on her face.

"I can't read." She was shocked, she looked up to me for answers.

"Callie, there was a bullet in your brain. There's a lot of stuff you're going to have to figure out again." She didn't believe me, it was okay. Her being able to read hadn't even been on the radar of things for us to deal with. "I'll stay for the rest of tonight, and I'll talk to Momma tomorrow about it. Okay?"

"Fine." She squeezed her right hand into a clumsy fist a few times. "This sucks." She whispered softly. I couldn't help myself and let out a little laugh. A smile cracked across her face too and she moved over a little so I had space to lay down again.

"It definitely does suck, but you're going to be fine." Callie reached out and held my hand tightly. "I love you, Cal."

"I love you, too." She sniffled and quickly dried tears that had fallen. "Go home tomorrow. I'm okay."

"I know you are."

**Callie – **

I woke up on my own, the sunlight pouring through my window was more than enough to wake me up and start my day with a headache that made me nauseous. Stef was still asleep beside me and I thought about the conversation we had the night before. I remember most of it, I think. I'm here, at a rehab center because I hurt my head. I hurt my head a while ago, can't remember how. Whatever. I sat up and scrunched my eyes in the bright light, my throat was killing me. Today was going to be a rough day. I moved my left leg off the bed and reached over with my left hand to support my right leg moving to the ground too.

"What are you doing?" Stef muttered behind me.

"Getting in chair." I couldn't do it myself, we both knew that. Stef got up and helped me into the chair. "Thanks." Stef knelt down and looked at me a little harder.

"Do you feel okay?" I shrugged, I didn't feel awful, but I didn't feel great either. "I'm going to have someone check on you, okay?"

"Fine." I used my left foot to bring myself closer to the window and I shut the blinds. "What day is it?"

"Thursday." Stef answered, she went into the bathroom and I could hear her brushing her teeth. I looked over to the schedule on my wall, but I could only make out a few of the words.

"Callie, is everything okay?" A nurse asked in the doorway.

"Hey, does she look sick to you? She sounds really congested." Stef said peeking her head around the bathroom door.

"I'm fine." The nurse stepped out and came back in with a cart of supplies. She put stickers on my chest and took my temperature. I had to follow a light with my eyes and she looked in my ears, up my nose, and in my mouth.

"You're looking pretty congested, you don't have a fever." She started writing notes down and checked my heart rate. "I'm going to get the doctor and we'll figure out what she wants us to do." It didn't take too long for them to come back. The doctor looked at all the same things the nurse did before going to talk to someone else.

"I'm fine, not that bad." I grumbled to Mom as she got out of the shower and dried her hair.

"I know, but I just want to make sure it's nothing."

"Well guess what, Callie?" The doctor asked stepping back into the room. "You get to try drinking something today."

"Really?"

"What? Why?" Stef asked.

"Callie has a sinus infection. It's not uncommon with an ng tube, they're really supposed to be for short term use. The speech pathologist thinks she's ready so she'll be here after breakfast. Stef can I actually talk to you outside for a moment?"

"Of course." Stef kissed the top of my head and stepped into the hall, a nurse walked in and started my normal morning routine. I showered and brushed my teeth, She helped me get dressed and set up the "breakfast" I was having today.

"Hey, Mom." Stef wiped her face quickly and sat down across from me at the table.

"Hey, you know what? I have to call Momma, I'll be right back." She got back up quickly and stepped back into the hall. She came back an hour later behind the nurse and a man I wasn't sure I had ever seen before.

"Hi, Callie." He sat down across from me and instructed me to do some breathing while he listened to my chest. Then he fiddled a bit with the tube up my nose. "Okay, so today is going to be a little bit different than I would have liked." He was really good at breaking up his sentences so I could understand every word. "I'm going to remove the tube and we're just going to try a few sips of water, if that goes okay we'll try soft food. If not, we're going in for an x-ray."

"An x-ray for what?" Stef asked, standing over his shoulder.

"To make sure she's swallowing correctly and not getting fluid in her lungs." He waited to see if Stef had any other questions, but she seemed distracted. "Okay, ready?" I nodded and he went to the sink to wash his hands and put on gloves. He came back and pulled the tape off the side of my face. The tube hung straight down out of my nose and Stef started biting her nails behind his shoulder. "Okay, deep breath." I took a breath as he gripped the tube firmly and began to pull. Tears sprang up in my eyes and I gripped the armrest on my chair tightly with my left hand. "I know, this sucks." He said softly, but continued to pull. It didn't hurt necessarily, my sinuses were protesting, but it was ridiculously uncomfortable above everything else.

"Relax, Callie. He's almost done." Stef soothed. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on breathing until I felt the tube fall out of my nose. As soon as I opened my eyes an intense burning started.

"It's okay." He said quickly and wiped my nose with a tissue. "Do you want to try and blow your nose?" He held a tissue out and I couldn't really bring in enough air to let out a decent sneeze, but I tried anyway.

"Are we sure about this?" Stef asked as he poured less than a mouthful of water into a paper cup.

"Yes, I'm right here if anything happens. Honestly, I'm very confident that Callie is ready for this." He turned and held eye contact with Stef until she seemed to stand up a little straighter.

"Okay, okay." A straw was placed in the cup and the water was brought up to my lips. It took a minute for me to have every muscle remember what to do. The water was cool in my mouth and I suddenly realized how thirsty I was. I hadn't even been allowed to have ice for months. I tried to swallow it, but it was suddenly stuck in my throat. Panic started in my chest, but I tried to stay calm so Stef didn't freak out. Once my body remembered what it was supposed to do I was finally able to swallow the water. "How was that? Is everything okay?"

"You did great, Callie." He said with a bright smile, he refilled the cup and I repeated this action a few times. Each time swallowing got a little easer, but it was still something I had to consciously work through. "Let's try something a little more difficult." He opened a container of jell-o and the entire process started again. Stef stood behind him the whole time, biting her nails. After an hour of swallowing small amounts of jell-o he was finally convinced. "Here we go, you're approved to start a liquid and soft solid diet. I still recommend a tube feeding once a day at dinner to accommodate for whatever leftover calories she hasn't consumed."

"Okay, okay. That's progress." Stef looked worried.

The speech pathologist cleaned up and gave me a high five and a lollipop. He helped me open it and Stef set up a movie on her laptop as they went to talk in the hallway. They were too far away and I couldn't read their lips to understand the entire conversation, but Stef was upset.

**Jude –**

Connor's avatar crossed the finish line three seconds before mine and he threw down the controller letting out a cheer. "I'm awful at this game, I already told you." I groaned.

"You're not awful, I'm just that good." He stood up on his mom's couch with his hands high above his head.

"Connor, get down." His mom called from the kitchen. "Do you boys want a snack before dinner? Jude you're welcome to stay again." The small two-bedroom apartment that Conner's mom had moved into after the shooting had almost become a second home. A lot of people from Anchor Beach had moved out of the county, even more were going to new schools, some kids were talking about their parents fighting more, but Connor's mom wanted to be closer to him more than anything.

"I need to ask my mom if she has anything planned." I answered quickly, we all knew that there was no official dinner plan now that Stef was staying with Callie but it made my moms feel better when I checked in.

A bowl of snack mix was placed in front of us and I pulled out my cell phone. "How is Callie?" Connor asked hesitantly.

"Connor, please." His mom said quickly.

"No, it's okay. She's doing pretty good. Stef's been there the last few days because she gets confused when she wakes up, she doesn't always remember where she is. But I got to visit her, she's talking way more and the physical therapy is working." It was nice to be able to say something positive about Callie. It was even better to be able to share good news about her.

"That's great." I stepped into the bathroom to call Lena, grabbing a handful of trail mix along the way.

"Hey Momma, I was just wondering if we had plans for dinner tonight?"

"I don't know, baby." She was obviously busy. I could hear people arguing in the background and there was some sort of construction going on.

"Well Connor's mom invited me over for dinner." I explained carefully.

"Not today, Mom's coming home. Callie's doing really well so mom will be home tonight for family dinner." She finally answered.

"Okay, no problem." I answered quickly, I didn't want Lena to hear my disappointment. Family dinner wasn't awful, but it was obvious that Stef and Lena weren't there. They were always worrying, there was always something to worry about now. Lena said a hurried goodbye and I stayed in the bathroom for another minute before heading back to hang out with Connor.

"I can't stay, sorry. Stef is coming home for dinner."

"It's okay, Jude." Connor's mom said quickly. "I'll take you home when it's time, let your mom know she doesn't have to pick you up." I sent out a text to Stef and Lena so neither of them would think they forgot me, which has only happened twice but it caused a huge argument both times.

Connor was telling me all about the new school he was going to, there were only a few other people from Anchor Beach that went there but apparently the rest of the school treated them like it was their fault Vico shot everyone. I tried to enjoy the time we were spending together, but it felt different. Connor was my best friend, my only friend that wasn't Callie, but he didn't understand.

"Alright, Jude, are you ready to go?" Connor's mom asked pulling her jacket on and grabbing her keys. I nodded and gave Connor a hug before following his mom out to the car. She was easier to get along with, she knew how to ask questions that weren't hard to answer. She pulled into our driveway and I thanked her before jogging into the house.

Both of the cars were in the driveway so that meant moms were home, but from the yelling I knew Brandon, Mariana, and Jesus were still gone. I closed the door quietly and slowly made my way upstairs so they wouldn't know I could hear them. They told us plenty of what was going on with Callie, but we all knew there was always something they held back.

"I don't want her to have the surgery, Lena. She's had three major surgeries, I'd like for her to never have surgery again." Stef said with a sense of finality.

"But, Stef. She needs this."

"No, she doesn't. I was there. I talked to her doctor and the speech pathologist."

"I don't want our daughter to have a tube up her nose for the rest of her life." Lena was crying, but not sad crying. She was pissed.

"Well I don't want her to have a hole in her stomach. She can handle some solid foods, she'll only have the ng-tube for another month or two. Why would we have her get a feeding tube in her stomach when she'll only need it for a month?"

"What if something goes wrong, or she never really regulates to a solid food diet?"

"Then we'll do it. I don't want to subject her to anything else unless she actually needs it. Okay? Can we just agree on that? When she needs it we'll do it. We'll do anything she needs, but if she doesn't need an invasive surgery then I won't do it."

"Should we ask Callie what she wants?" Lena pleaded softly.

"Okay, fine. We'll ask Callie what she wants. But seriously, Lena, why would this be any better? Callie is supposed to be home soon and she'd need another surgery to remove the g-tube." I was trying to imagine what they were arguing about but I had no idea. Mariana was the one that was always googling the treatments Callie was receiving.

I tiptoed into my bedroom and closed the door gently before sitting in front of Jesus' laptop. I started googling feeding tubes, I immediately recognized the tube that had been in Callie's nose when we visited and found a picture of the "g-tube" moms were arguing about. It was intimidating to look at. It was a tube sticking out of someone's stomach. It could be sticking out of Callie's stomach.

Was she really this sick, doctors were telling moms to have a hole put in Callie's stomach so that she could eat? I scrolled through picture after picture, I watched some videos of people with these tubes explain how they work and how to clean them. This did seem like an easier option than what Callie currently had, but I couldn't help but side with Stef. Callie didn't need another surgery.

I waited in my room until I heard Brandon, Jesus, and Mariana enter the house so moms wouldn't be embarrassed. We sat around the table and Jesus started sharing everything he had done that day. Mariana was silent as usual and there was still obvious tension between moms. Jesus seemed oblivious to it, but that was one of the things that made family dinner tolerable. Jesus could keep conversation going with himself.

"I – I was thinking." Brandon finally spoke up. "I could move in with Dad." He said softly, looking down at his plate of carry-out.

"What? Why would you do that?" Stef demanded.

"Not now, obviously. I'm thinking when Callie comes back home. She'll still be recovering and the house is crowded. I'm not trying to move out or anything I just think it could help and I really don't mind."

"That's really sweet of you." Lena interrupted before Stef could express how upset she really was. "We don't want you, well we don't want any of you to feel like you need to change when Callie comes home. Mom and I will figure it out, and Brandon we could really use your help."

"Right, of course. Just let me know, I know Dad wouldn't mind if I did move in with him."

"We know buddy, thanks for offering." Stef said after taking a deep breath. I hadn't thought of how things would be when Callie got home, would she be able to walk on her own? Would she be able to feed herself? I wanted to ask these questions, but I didn't want to hear moms arguing again.

"How was Connor's?" Stef asked, this was her way of pulling the conversation away from Callie. We always talked about Callie and I could tell it made mom anxious.

"It was okay, he doesn't really like his new school."

"Are we going to a new school?" Jesus asked, he needed to be the center of attention again.

"Yes, we have you three enrolled at Saint Francis to start after Christmas break."

"Saint Francis? That prep school? With the uniforms?" Jesus asked skeptically.

"Yes, Momma called in some favors and you kids are ready to go. Mariana, Momma and I talked and we'll get you a tutor to help homeschool you. Okay?"

"Thank you." Mariana nodded. Jesus was obviously holding back a, 'that's not fair.'

"It won't be too bad, once we figure out school and maybe even next year you can go back to Anchor Beach." Brandon looked disappointed, Jesus looked annoyed, but it couldn't be too bad. It would finally give us something all to do other than sit around and piss each other off. It would probably help moms too, they wouldn't have to worry about us, and they wouldn't feel bad for not being there for us.

"I'm excited. I've never gone to private school before. What kind of uniform?"

"I think you'll like it, Mom and I will take you three shopping before school starts, okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good." Brandon finally resolved. Jesus forced an excited look on to make moms happy. Mom started telling Brandon all about the music program, it wasn't amazing, but it was recognized by a lot of local universities. That seemed to push Brandon over the edge and make him a little more excited for the new school.

**Stef – **

Lena and I tried to spend all Friday with Callie every week, this way we could really see how an entire day for her was. Speech in the mornings with physical and occupational therapy in the afternoon. Today we managed to leave the house even earlier, it was an odd day where everything actually went according to plan. Lena and I pulled into the rehabilitation center and picked up our passes before walking into the dormitory.

We walked in as Callie sat up in her bed, an assistant stood beside her and smiled as we walked in. "Hey Callie, your moms are here." She said brightly. Callie just let out a pitiful moan and rubbed her eyes with her left hand. She turned away to lay back down, but the assistant put her arms behind her to stop her. "It's time to get up Callie." She said patiently. Callie was supposed to be able to come home in the next month and I still wasn't sure if I had the patience to do any of this.

"Fuck that." Callie grumbled. I saw Lena flinch at the word and I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't smile. Callie's filter was pretty non-existent these days and there really wasn't much anyone could do about it. "What day is it?" She asked squinting from the lights in the room.

"Friday." Confusion flashed across Callie's face, but she didn't say anything else. "Let's get up Callie." Callie swung her left leg off the bed and placed her foot firmly on the ground, she used her left hand to maneuver her right leg off the bed and onto the floor.

"My moms visit me on Friday." Callie said tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I know, they're already here." The assistant said brightly.

"Who's here?" She asked as the assistant brought the wheel chair in the corner closer to Callie's bed.

"Your moms are here to hang out with you." I was surprised this college student had the ability to deal with these kinds of injuries and situations every single day. Then again we were going to have to do this soon.

"My mom is dead." Callie grumbled.

"Your moms, Stef and Lena, they're here." She said without hesitation. Callie looked up and smiled brightly.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Momma." She draped her left arm around the assistant's shoulders and they stood up from the bed together and moved into the wheel chair. She pushed Callie over to the table in the corner of her room and placed a bowl of yogurt in front of her. "I'm not hungry." Callie insisted pushing the breakfast away.

"It's breakfast time and you have to eat breakfast before you take your medicine." Callie glared at her and Lena rolled her shoulders back the same way she would to break up a fight between the twins. She sat at the table beside Callie and pushed the bowl closer to her. I stepped closer to the assistant and smiled.

"How long has she been talking about her birth mom?"

"Just this week, she was really upset on Tuesday, she's just been having a tough week with emotional regulation." I watched as Lena convinced Callie to eat her breakfast. "She is a really great kid."

"Yeah, she's amazing." I said softly. She only knew Callie after the accident, not the Callie we had fallen in love with. She would have probably been friends with Callie instead of helping her get dressed in the morning.

"We've got it from here, thanks for your help."

"Alright, let me know if you need anything." She pulled out a seat at the table for me and headed towards the door. "Bye Callie."

"Bye." Callie responded a little too softly to carry through the entire room. I sat down and it was as if Callie had just noticed I was there.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, Callie. Let's finish eating." I placed food on the spoon and handed the spoon to her. She could hold the spoon pretty well in her left hand, but bringing the food up to her mouth was still trouble, Lena helped guide it there. Every third or fourth bite Callie would just seem to forget that she was in the middle of breakfast and get distracted by something.

"Done." Lena said as Callie swallowed the last bite. A nurse came in and helped her shower, brush her teeth and get dressed for the day. Her speech therapist came in and they practiced reading together before practicing 'sl' words. Callie's speech impediment was better, it was obvious she still didn't have full control, but she was understandable. It was her recognition of everyday objects that was troubling. After an hour we were finally left with a decently frustrated Callie.

"We still have thirty minutes until PT. I could paint your nails." Callie didn't answer, but Lena pulled a few different colors out of her purse and placed them in front of Callie.

"Momma." Callie suddenly looked frustrated, then upset. "Blue." She finally said. Lena reached for the blue one. "No." Callie said shortly, she glanced over at me with a desperate pleading look, her eyes watered. "Hi, Mom."

"It's okay, just relax." I said honestly. "So no blue, what color would you like?" Callie took a deep breath and Lena put the blue back in her purse.

"What color?" Callie repeated. "Can't." I pointed to the pink. "No." I pointed to the red. "No." I pointed to the purple. "Yes."

"Purple." Lena said brightly, opening the bottle and placing Callie's hands on the table. She quickly rubbed away what was left of the nail polish from the kids last visit and started painting her nails.

"Purple." Callie whispered. It was a reminder that no matter how difficult this was for us Callie was struggling with herself and she knew something wasn't right. I reached over and wiped the tears from under her eyes. I couldn't imagine being trapped inside my body the way Callie is. I watched Lena paint Callie's nails with a precision she had obtained within the first few months of meeting Mariana and I provided Callie with gentle reminders every couple of minutes that she had to sit still. Once Lena finished I pulled out all the cards Callie had received for this day in particular. A lot of them had been sent to the police station from people who had no idea who we were, but I gave them to Callie anyway.

"Brother?" Callie asked looking towards the door.

"Jude." I reminded her, I knew Jude understood that Callie was really hurt, but I could tell it bothered him that Callie didn't remember his name.

"Jude today?"

"Not today, Jude will be here Saturday."

"Here Saturday." Callie repeated softly, a nurse walked in and unlocked the wheels on her chair.

"Ready to go Callie?" She asked as we headed towards the physical therapy room. Lena and I stood to the side so we couldn't distract Callie during therapy. Her physical therapist, flanked closely by two students, helped Callie stand and clipped a belt around her waist for support.

**Callie –**

Stand up, keep your knees locked. You're leaning too far forward, the physical therapist and someone else had a firm grip on both my arms and the thick canvas belt around my waist. "You can sit down." Someone said near me, my knees gave way, but the people around me held me up and eased me onto the table.

Sitting was easier than it had been a week ago, my balance was still pretty terrible, but no one had to hold me up. My occupational therapist came over and sat in front of me, pulling a table between us.

"Hi Callie." She said brightly. I should say something back, you're supposed to say something back when someone says hello. She stared at me expectantly, I've probably taken too long. Hi, I'm supposed to say hi back, I tried to get my mouth to form the word.

"Hi." I repeated finally, she placed a pile of flashcards on the table.

"What day is it?"

"Monday." I answered confidently.

"Today is Friday." She corrected, Friday, really? I could have sworn Lena woke me up this morning for school and it was Monday.

"What did you eat for lunch?"

"For lunch?" I heard myself say back, she ignored the outburst and waited patiently for an answer. Did I already eat lunch today? I didn't remember much of today. "No lunch." I tried, she wrote down a couple notes.

"What's your full name?"

"Callie Jacob." I answered, I could see a little kid playing soccer with his therapist beside me.

"Callie Adams-Foster." She corrected. "Over here, Callie." I turned my attention back to her, you're supposed to look at people when they talk to you. "What's your full name?"

"Callie Ja"-

"Callie Adams-Foster." She interrupted.

"Callie Adams-Foster." I repeated.

"What's your full name?"

"Callie Adams-Foster." I answered trying to stay focused on her.

"Flash card time. Ready?" She picked up the first card, I was supposed to hold it in my right hand, the effort it took to bring my arm up, open my fingers, and hold the card was unbelievable.

"Square." I muttered.

"Talking voice Callie, I can't hear you." She reminded me, holding out the next card. I placed the first card down on the table and shakily held the second card.

"Car." Another card. "Brush."

"What type of brush?" It was a brush for your teeth, I knew what it was, but I couldn't get the word out. Only brush. "Nice try, next card."

"Mom." I answered at the picture of Stef. "Cup." I got distracted by something across the room and my attention was drawn back to the cards. "Momma." I answered at the picture of Lena. "Piano." I missed a couple of cards. The splitting headache reappeared above my eye. "No." I answered as she tried to hand me another card.

"Five more. Family cards only, okay?" I didn't answer but she separated those cards out anyways. "Who's this?" She held out a picture and I held it in my right hand.

"Don't know." I answered putting the card down on the table. She picked it up and placed it in my hand again. "Brandon Dad." I answered actually looking at it, she blocked me from putting it down again. "Mark." I tried.

"Mike." I repeated 'Mike' back to her and she let me place the card on the table.

"Mariana." I forced out, talking was exhausting, I struggled to form the words like we had practiced, but I could feel myself slurring all the words.

"Brandon." I answered.

"Great job Callie, two more." It felt like my mouth was full of sand.

"Brother." I answered to the next one. "Jude." I added.

"Awesome." She praised.

"Jesus." She snapped the rubber band around the cards and held her hand up for a high five, while holding my left hand to the table so I had to use my right arm. I held it up, but she met me halfway, she walked into the corner. When had Moms gotten here? I waved at Lena and she waved back.

"Ready Callie?" My physical therapist asked.

"Ready Callie?" I repeated automatically, it was irritating. A thing that looked almost like a, what was the word? My brain pounded violently against my skull and I closed my eyes tightly.

"Callie are you okay?" I jerked my left arm out of someone's grasp and covered my face to stop the light from hurting my eyes. "Hey Cal"- the rest of their sentence turned into the strange language I couldn't understand. The pounding stopped after a minute and I pulled my hand away slowly as my eyes adjusted to the light again. "What happened kiddo?" My therapist asked softly.

"Headache." I answered simply. "What?" I asked pointing at the thing in front of me that my brain still couldn't produce a name for.

"Good question, this is a walker." She stood behind it. "It has arm troughs on it so you can stand up and hold on." She placed her forearms on the little platforms that stuck out of the top and held on to the handles. "Your turn." She placed the walker in front of me and I was standing again. The wheels on the bottom of the walker were locked so it didn't roll anywhere, I placed my left arm in the trough and, with a little help, placed my right arm in the other trough. My therapist used a few clips and snaps and secured my waist to the walker. "We're going to take a few steps okay?" She unlocked the wheels on the walker and held onto the front of it tightly.

My feet felt like dead weight, but I also had very little control over them. "Left foot." She reminded gently. My sneaker dragged across the floor awkwardly, but my foot shuffled forward. Up, forward, down. Right foot, it was more difficult. It was like my shoe had been nailed to the ground, someone held the back of my leg just below my knee and lifted my foot up for me. I walked for the first time in over a month. I tried to watch my feet move, but it threw me off balance and I tipped forward, someone held me up until I regained my balance. I took another shuffled step with my left foot and again someone helped my right foot get off the ground and I moved it forward before placing it down again. The walker moved forward an inch and I had to take another couple of steps to stay behind it.

"Awesome Callie." Lena's voice said in front of me. I looked up to see Mom holding a camera a few feet away from me, how long had they been standing there?

"Five more steps okay?" My therapist asked, I didn't really have a choice. Five steps was almost equivalent to three feet, but after a couple more steps I was able to lift my right foot halfway off the ground. When I finished they disconnected me from the walker and held me up by my upper arms, but everyone around me started clapping. Momma came up and hugged me tightly, kissing me on the cheek. She helped my therapist sit me back in my wheel chair, Stef was still standing there with a camera, but she had a huge smile on. I smiled back and Lena leaned in to hug me again, when she pulled away I could see tears in her eyes.

"Momma sad?" I asked.

"No baby, I'm very happy for you. You did great." A lot of people told me how great I did, I didn't recognize most of them. I was probably supposed to, but they all worked here. Stef finally turned off the camera and the three of us went back to my room.

I was exhausted, my brain felt like a wrung sponge and I could feel a terrible headache starting. My moms must have noticed because they helped me get into my bed and tucked the covers in around me. "Stay?" I asked as Stef leaned in and kissed me.

"I'll be back tomorrow. I know you don't like being alone, you'll be okay." She reassured me and squeezed my hand. "I have to go show your brothers and sister how awesome you did, they're going to be so proud of you. Just like Momma and I." I nodded and fought to keep my eyes open as Lena rubbed my back comfortingly, I fell asleep though and when I was woken up for dinner and medicine they were gone.

**Jude – **

I watched the video of Callie walking over and over. I wanted to be there more than anything, but I knew I would just be in the way. Callie looked like she was in an intense amount of pain, but she looked so proud of herself at the end. It was an odd position to see Callie in. She was so vulnerable, it wasn't something she would ever let anyone see. I actually felt a little guilty for watching it.

I started the video over and watched as Callie struggled to remain on her feet. Her knees wobbled and if it weren't for those purple ankle braces I was sure she wouldn't have even been able to support her own weight.

She managed to drag one foot forward, but she needed help moving her right foot off the ground. This process repeated over and over before she finally made it to the camera and moms congratulated her with hugs and kisses. Our visit for tomorrow was postponed. She was pretty exhausted after therapy, which was obvious, so I had to wait till Sunday. One full day of recovery and I could see her again.

The video started again and I smiled a little when it got to the part where moms cheered for her. She was happy, they all were happy. Hopefully Callie knew that they were doing everything they could for her. Mom would be happy that we were so loved.

Mom, I hadn't thought about mom in a while. Mom would have been devastated to learn Callie was hurt, but I don't know how she could have done any better than how moms are right now.

"Hey, Jude. You watch the video moms sent?" Jesus asked collapsing on his bed.

"Y – yeah. You?" I dried my face and dropped my phone on my bed.

"Yeah, it was really cool. I'm excited to visit on Sunday. Maybe she'll be feeling well enough to go to the cool game room with us."

"Yeah, that'd be awesome." I leaned back on my bed and watched the video again without sound. I had everything memorized anyway. I ended up falling asleep watching the video, pride swelling deep in my chest.

**Callie – **

I woke up early and tried to remember what day it is, it didn't really matter. I took a minute to pull myself together. My head hurt, my chest hurt, the right side of my body felt heavy, but it was the new normal. What wasn't normal was the fuzziness in my head. Some part of me felt like I was floating, maybe they changed my medications.

Moving from my bed to the wheelchair was getting easier and I slowly pulled myself into the bathroom. Placing my toothbrush on the edge of the sink was okay, but toothpaste was the harder than I could imagine. I held the tube between my knees and twisted off the cap with my left hand, but I couldn't stop my hands from shaking violently as I tried to squeeze the tube.

"Morning, Callie. Do you want to finish brushing your teeth or take a shower first?" A nurse asked behind me. I looked up to see her leaning on the door frame with a bit of a smile on her face.

"Teeth." I answered and squeezed an embarrassing amount of toothpaste everywhere but my toothbrush. "Damnit."

"You're doing great, don't worry about it." I wasn't worried, I was pissed off. I finally got some toothpaste on the toothbrush, but as I reached out to the faucet everything went dark.

I woke up on the floor with a crowd of people surrounding me. Everything hurt, it was similar to when I was in the hospital, every move I made sent shockwaves through my body. "What?" I choked and tried to wave someone away from my face.

"You had a seizure. How are you feeling?"

"Ouch." I muttered and closed my eyes.

"You're probably going to feel a little sore for a few days, but you should be otherwise okay." I tried to relax, that was one of the few things that could help after a seizure. Sleep. "We're going to skip a shower today and just get you into some clean clothes. Let you get some rest and you'll have therapy tomorrow."

"Right." I groaned, but that weird feeling hadn't gone away. I didn't remember feeling this way before, but I still didn't remember a lot of things. I helped the nurse change me into a new set of clothes, she tucked my covers around me and squeezed my hand before turning to leave. I grabbed her wrist, something just didn't feel right.

"Do you want me to stay?" She said with a small smile, she pulled a chair closer and sat down. "I can call your moms, I'm sure one of them would come over."

I did, I did want my moms. I wanted someone to come and help me feel better. I was scared, that was it, I was scared. Just then I felt the right side of my body tense up, fire rushed down my spine as my back arched involuntarily. My vision disappeared, my jaw clenched shut, but I could still hear and I could feel my body moving without my consent.

"It's okay, Callie." The nurse's voice broke through my racing thoughts. "I'm still here. I've got something that should help, and your moms are on their way."

"What happened?" I heard the door to my room bang open, and I was rolled onto my side.

"It just happened, I don't know. I don't know." The nurse said quickly. "It's been about thirty seconds."

"Okay, Callie, work with us." I couldn't do anything, every muscle in my body was being activated at the same time and there was nothing I could do. "This is going on a while."

"Should we call the hospital?" I'm going to die, I can't breathe, and I'm going to die.

"C'mon, Cal, you've got this." Finally it stopped. Everything stopped as suddenly as it had started. I still couldn't see, but I took a deep breath and shuddered.

"Please, stop." I huffed. My body was a wrung sponge. I couldn't move, or more accurately it would hurt like hell to do so.

"It's alright." Someone said softly.

"Still feel weird." I muttered. I had to let someone know, something was very wrong. Very wrong. "Need help."

"You're okay, Callie. Your moms are on their way. We gave you some medicine, it's all going to be okay." My vision finally came back. A doctor was standing over me taking down vitals and the nurse was positioning herself beside me again.

"Close your eyes and when you open them your moms will be here. Okay? I'm going to call your neurologist and we're going to get you some new medicine to help." My doctor said with a smile. "Everything's going to be okay." No, no, no. Nothing was okay, but there was no way that I could explain that. I was exhausted beyond belief and the drugs they had given me weren't helping.

I woke up to oxygen blowing up my nose and someone stroking my hair. Everything still hurt, my body was buzzing as if it were filled with static. But that fucking feeling was still there. "Mom?" I choked out.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Lena leaned over and I could see her shaky smile.

"Something's wrong." I muttered.

"Yeah, You've had three seizures. You're going back to the hospital tomorrow for some tests." She said softly. "I think it's just some of the medicine and when we get that worked out everything will be back to normal."

"No, no." Tomorrow might be too late.

"Just relax, I know you're not feeling good. That's why Mom and I are here." She looked older.

"I – I feel like, I feel. Need help." I tried to explain, but my head just throbbed and pulsed as I tried to string together new sentences.

"Hey, did you just wake up?" Stef appeared behind Lena and she had a tight smile on her face. "We heard you've been having a really rough day."

"She was just telling me that she still feels weird. We've got a doctor's appointment all lined up though. We're going to figure this out." I nodded and succumbed to the exhaustion again.

This time when I woke up I was feeling significantly better. Everything was still incredibly painful, but I felt more connected with my body. "Hey! How are you feeling?" Stef squeezed my hand, her eyes were red and watery.

"Sore." I rolled onto my side and tried to understand everything I was feeling. I was nauseous but there seemed to be a slim chance that I would actually throw up. My head hurt like hell, but this was the new normal.

"You haven't had another seizure today, it's almost dinner time."

"Help?" I asked reaching out an arm for her to help me sit up. She pulled me into a sitting position, but it wasn't strong enough to hold myself up.

"You sure? You can get some more sleep." Stef whispered, holding me against her shoulder.

"In the chair, please. Just for a little." Lena pushed the wheelchair closer and Stef picked me up and placed me in it. I just sat there across from moms and focused on staying as still as possible. "It just hurts." I whispered as Lena started to ask a question. A nurse stepped in and smiled brightly when she saw I was awake.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" She asked putting down all the equipment for a tube feeding.

"Okay, really sore."

"Yeah? We can help with that. I can get you a few more pain meds."

"Can I eat?" I asked as she started to write a note in my chart.

"I'll ask, okay?" I nodded and she left. Stef and Lena offered a few suggestions to try and keep my mind of the pain while we waited for her return, but the only one that seemed truly painless was watching a movie. Stef pulled up a selection on her computer and started reading off the movie titles.

"Just pick one." I cut her off. I'm not sure how much longer I could stay awake and sitting here.

"Your mom and I were talking about going on a vacation. Your doctors say that you could have a break for a week or so. Where would you want to go?" Lena said softly as the movie started.

"Home." I answered honestly.

"I thought you would say that." Stef chuckled.

"Hey, Callie. I heard you're up and moving a little bit." My doctor's voice floated through the room. "Open your eyes for me." She quickly flashed a light in both my eyes and a flash of concern appeared. "Are you feeling okay? I know you're pretty sore, but how's your headache?"

"Awful." I answered honestly. There was no point in lying now, it had been a fucking awful day and lying about how I felt wouldn't make it better.

"Alright. I brought you some ice cream. I'm going to go ahead and start set you up for a tube feeding. You eat as much ice cream as you want and I'll adjust dinner accordingly, alright?"

"Yeah." She wiped the area around my nose and held the tube up to my face measuring it's length down my chest. She gave me a moment of warning before feeding the tube up my nose. It was an awful feeling I can started to get used to, but the throbbing sensation in my head was a great distraction. "Done?" I asked as my nose started to burn.

"Just ten more seconds." I squeezed my eyes shut and started counting, I felt someone's hand squeeze mine tightly and I tried to breathe through the last few seconds. "And, done." The tube was draped behind my ear and tape was added to hold it in place. "Okay, ice cream and when you're done get my attention so I can count out the calories."

"Yep." Stef answered for me. I was pushed towards the table and moms sat on either side of me in the dark room with the light from the laptop illuminating my small cup of ice cream. My left hand was shaking so hard that any amount of ice cream I put on it would fall back into the cup.

"Here, I'll help." Lena offered after I dropped the spoon on the table for the second time. Any other day I would protest, but I really needed the help. Lena guided the spoon to my mouth and I tried not to feel embarrassed as my mom spoon fed me.

"Done." I said quickly, I had only managed to finish a quarter of the cup but my stomach started to hurt. Lena pushed the cup to the side and Stef went out to let my doctor know I was finished. "I'm sorry." I said softly as Lena tucked some hair behind my ear.

"For what?"

"You came here today."

"You need to stop feeling bad about things like that. We're your parents. We're going to be here for you." I nodded and turned my attention back to the movie. The weird feeling was back. There wasn't much I could do, no one believed me or understood when I tried to tell people something was wrong. I was going to the hospital tomorrow anyway, but this was just absurd.

Stef came back and I tried to focus all my energy on the movie. Maybe if I ignored the weird feeling then it would just go away. I lasted until the end of the movie, but by then the weird feeling was almost overwhelming. It was difficult to even hold my head up and the static was pulsing through my body again.

"Hey, hey." Stef turned the chair so I was facing her. "Lena, turn on the lights." The lights clicked on and I shut my eyes. "Callie, what's going on?"

"I'm going to get someone." Lena said quickly.

"Feel weird." I whispered.

"Okay, it's okay." It started with the right half of my body. Every muscle clenched tightly and I could feel myself shaking. "Damnit, damnit, damnit." Stef whispered over and over. She grabbed me tightly and eased me to the floor.

"Mom." I managed to choke out as my teeth clenched together and my vision went away.

"Oh, god." Lena gasped. Fire burned through my body and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

"Call for an ambulance, I want Callie in the hospital tonight." Hands held me on my side and my stomach cramped painfully.

"Help." I tried to choke out but I couldn't even control my tongue.

"Is she conscious?" Lena shrieked.

"Maybe, it's possible." My doctor said quickly. "It's okay, Callie. Everyone's here to help." Vomit crept up my throat, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. "We gave you some medicine to help the seizure stop, Callie. It should be over soon, okay?"

"Yes." I huffed, but it wasn't over soon. It got worse. It felt as though my back would break, my head would explode. I could taste the vomit in my mouth, but I still couldn't see and my hearing was fading as well. My blood was roaring in my ears, Lena was crying near me. Then it stopped.

One by one my muscles relaxed and after another minute I was finally able to take a deep breath of air. Slowly my sight returned, after that the heavy weight of exhaustion covered me. "Callie? Can you hear me?" Someone asked.

"Yeah." I groaned. A wet cloth wiped my face and I was carefully rolled onto my back.

"If you get that weird feeling again let me know." Stef demanded. I nodded and I could finally make out the different faces of people around me.

"Let's get you a quick shower. Moms you should pack a bag for the hospital. Callie will probably be there for a few days. The ambulance will probably be here in ten or fifteen minutes." I was scooped up and placed back in the wheelchair.

"We'll get you cleaned up." Someone said gently. My head was the heaviest thing in the world and it was almost impossible for me to hold it up, but after a quick shower I was redressed in clean clothes and someone brushed my teeth quickly.

"Cal, how are you feeling?" Someone called into the bathroom and my hair was combed through.

"Tired." I muttered. Just then another crowd of people entered my room. I was laid on a bed and oxygen was slapped over my face and stickers were placed on my chest.

"I'll stay here and pack everything. I'll meet you at the hospital." Stef said quickly, I saw them kiss and Lena stood beside the bed as my doctor filled in a paramedic. "I love you, Callie. I'll be there in a few minutes." Stef kissed my forehead and continued to run around my room.

"You'll be back before you know it, Callie." A nurse said softly giving my hand a squeeze. I was pushed out into the hall and through a back door I had never even seen before. Then we were in a van. An ambulance. That's what this is.

"You're safe now, Cal. You can relax." Lena whispered, holding my hand. Those seemed to be the magic words and I fell asleep instantly.

**Stef – **

Now that they were gone the tension in the room slowly disappeared. "What the hell is going on?" I asked shakily.

"I'm not sure. I called her neurologist and he'll meet Callie there. I know he wants to get her in for some tests right away." Someone came in and started cleaning up the mess on the floor. "Do you remember how to put on her braces?" She asked picking up her shoes and braces from the corner of the room.

"Y – yeah. I remember." This was something weird to be thinking about right now.

"Okay. Take them with you. If you don't feel comfortable then don't do it, but Callie should wear them for at least five hours a day. A physical therapist will be coming by once we have the go ahead by her doctor there." I nodded and tried to absorb all this information. Callie's duffel bag was sitting on the bed with three pairs of clothes and four sets of pajamas. I placed the shoes and braces in the bag and packed up the things Lena and I had brought.

"Okay. Okay. That's everything, right?" Her doctor nodded and a nurse helped me carry everything out to my car. I got in and took a deep breath. I held it for a few seconds, and then took another one. Callie was okay, this was just a bad day. A very bad day.

I started the car and headed towards the children's hospital. Once I got there Callie was already in a separate room for a CT scan. Lena and I waited in a room for her to return, but after an hour there was still no news. At an hour and a half I was on the verge of a panic attack, and Lena was pacing the room anxiously.

"You're Callie's parents?" A nurse asked in a rushed voice.

"Yes." Lena answered quickly. I jumped to my feet and met the nurse at the door.

"Come with me." We followed her down hallway after hallway until we were face to face with Callie's neurologist.

"I read the CT results as they were coming up on the screen, and then got a second opinion from a colleague that I would trust with my own children. I need you to understand this is very serious."

"What, what's wrong?" Tears burned my eyes and Lena's fingernails dug into my forearm.

"There's a blood clot in her brain. They're prepping her for surgery now, it's small but with the preexisting damage to that area I'm opting to have it removed immediately. We'll start her on blood thinners to prevent it in the future, but we need to help her now." It felt like he wasn't actually there. It felt like I was watching a movie and this wasn't actually happening to my daughter. "From her last surgery we learned that Callie has a pretty rare blood type, do we have access to a biological relative of Callie's? We'll test you, of course but we have a better chance of finding a match with a biological relative."

"She, Callie has a biological brother we adopted as well." Lena spoke up.

"I'll call Mike to bring the kids." I said, finally breaking out of the trance. "Can we see her before she goes in?"

"Of course, but we can't wait for her siblings. We've got to get started with pre-op." Lena and I were led to Callie's room.

"Go in, I'm going to call Mike." I let go of Lena's hand and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

**Jude – **

The house phone rang, which was weird because no one uses the house phone. The only people that call the house phone are telemarketers so no one answered. Moms would call someone's cell phone. I ended up in the kitchen raiding the refrigerator with Jesus. There wasn't much in it, but there was enough for us to have a decent sized snack before someone came home for dinner.

Moms had made it sound like Callie was having a really rough day, but there was nothing to be worried about. "What the fuck is that?" Jesus said dropping a can of soda on the counter. "Brandon?" He shouted up the stairs. I grabbed some string cheese and turned to see what he was complaining about.

There was a flash of red, white, and blue outside. I inched towards the window and peaked outside to see Mike jogging towards the door. "Why are you here? What happened? Where's Stef and Lena? Are they okay?" I rushed as Mike stepped in with his uniform on.

"Your moms are fine. Why didn't anyone answer the phone?" Everyone came tumbling down the stairs.

"Who calls house phones?" Mariana asked.

"Dad, what's going on?"

"I need you guys to get in the car. Callie's in the hospital and about to go into surgery. Get your shoes and let's go." There was about ten seconds where no one moved, and then we were running around searching for shoes and cell phones. In the next minute we were piled into Mike's car and a friend of his drove ahead of us with their lights and siren on to get us to the hospital in almost half the time.

We were led into an examination room where four separate nurses waited for us. "Callie needs some blood for this surgery, she has a really rare blood type. Jude?" I raised my hand and someone stepped closer. "Your moms said that you're her biological brother so we'll rush your test. Everyone else, we're just testing you just in case you guys can help Callie out, okay? Take off your jackets this will only take a few minutes."

I looked back at Mariana and watched as she quickly took of her jacket, only to see she was wearing long sleeves. She pushed up her right sleeve before she was even asked and her right arm was clean. I followed suit and a few vials of blood were taken from each of us.

"Hey, babies." Stef threw open the door and kissed each of our foreheads.

"What's wrong with Callie?" I demanded. A Mickey Mouse Band-Aid was placed on my arm and a sticker with my name on it was placed on the vials of blood.

"She has a blood clot." Stef said simply. I didn't know enough about blood clots to know what exactly this meant, but everyone seemed worried so it had to be a big deal. "How long until we know if Jude is a match?"

"Is he even old enough to donate blood?" Brandon asked pulling down his sleeves.

"Not technically, Jude will have to consent to donate blood to Callie. He won't be donating much, just enough to help out until we get some more from the blood bank." The nurse rushed. "Less than an hour, then if he's a match we'll call him back."

"Alright. Thank you. C'mon guys, Momma's in Callie's room. We can all wait there until she's out of surgery and recovery." We followed her through the hospital again. We hadn't been here in weeks, but it hadn't changed. It was quiet, there weren't as many kids wandering the halls as there were last time we visited.

"Can we order a pizza?" Jesus asked as we finally turned into Callie's room. Lena was in there putting Callie's clothes in the small dresser in the corner.

"Yeah, whatever you guys want. I'll probably have Mike take you guys home in a few hours."

"Will Callie be out of surgery then?"

"I don't know, buddy." Stef motioned for all of us to take a seat and tossed a handful of DVDs our way. "Momma and I need to go talk with Callie's doctor, okay?" Stef dropped her credit card on the table and they left.

"Do you really think it's a blood clot?" Jesus asked scrolling through the pizza specials online.

"Why would they make it up?" Mariana hissed, punching him in the arm.

"I don't know?! I just didn't think blood clots were such a big deal."

"If you have a blood clot you can have a stroke, maybe she had a stroke and moms just don't want us to worry."

"Well great, thanks, Mariana. Now we're all worried that Callie had a stroke." Brandon grumbled. "She's probably fine, it's serious, but she's been through worse."

"Let's watch something." I grumbled, grabbing the stack of DVDs off the table. Mariana was right, this wouldn't be happening if it was something as simple as a blood clot. We finally decided on a single movie, just to start arguing about what two pizzas to order.

"Hey, kids. Where's your mom?" Mike asked having changed out of his uniform.

"They went to talk to the doctor, we're ordering pizza."

"Here." Mike dropped his debit card on the table and picked up mom's. "What movie are we watching?"

"I don't know, something Mariana picked."

"Hey, I want to watch it too." I grumbled. Jesus put in the order for pizza and the five of us waited for moms to return. The pizza had just arrived when they finally came back. Momma had been crying, a lot.

"Jude, can we talk to you in the hall?" Stef asked softly. I took a quick bite of the pizza I had placed on a paper towel and followed them out into the hall.

"What's really wrong with Callie? This can't all be over a blood clot." I asked as the door closed behind me.

"It's a blood clot buddy, don't worry about it. We've got a question. How much do you remember about your biological parents?"

"Not that much. Why?"

"You're not a match for Callie, so you can't donate blood." Stef explained slowly. It was if picking out these words was causing her physical pain.

"Okay, there was a chance that could happen, right?" I felt bad, but I wasn't sure why we were having this conversation in the hall. I wanted more than anything to help Callie, but it wasn't awful that I couldn't.

"We're going to have the hospital do more tests, just to be sure, but. Well, Jude." Stef reached out and awkwardly placed her hand on my shoulder. "You're not a match for Callie because you have different biological parents." Everything got eerily quiet.

"We're not siblings?"

"No, no, you are. Of course you are. We're assuming you two have different fathers. Do you know anything about that? Do you remember another man coming around, or maybe even Callie spending weekends at someone else's house?"

"No. Donald is our dad, I remember Callie calling him dad." Was everything a lie? This felt ridiculously unfair. Callie was already taken away from me, but now our memories together were going to be ruined too.

"Okay, it's not a big deal. You two are our kids, you're siblings no matter what. Having different dads doesn't make any of your experiences together less valid." Stef explained quickly. Her words were true and I knew that, but it still felt as though I had been lied to. Callie suddenly felt so far away, and I couldn't do anything about it.

**Hey everyone! Thanks again for reading, and all the great reviews. It really means a lot to me! I've had some requests for a Tumblr. I honestly didn't have one that I used consistently, but I've started a blog that you guys can read some of my original works and even submit prompts that you'd like to see me write (kodi-rae). I'm not sure how long this story is going to run, I do have some idea where the story ends, but I'm not sure what chapter that is. I think that answers all the questions, have a great holiday!**

**-Kodi (please review!)**


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